Tag Archives: red flags

Nice Guys : The Benjamin Franklin Effect

Nice guys! How do you get a woman in which you are attracted to like you? Do you give them lots of attention? Treat them out to dinner? Shower them with gifts? Always pay for the bill? How often have you gone that extra mile for someone only to have it blow up in your face later on? What if I told you there was a fool proof way to properly gauge a woman’s genuine affection for you without you putting yourself in too much of a compromising position? Well wish no more nice guys I have just that for you today. This technique is called “The Benjamin Franklin Effect” and is today’s topic of discussion. Today you are going to discover how to use this effect to your advantage and see whether the object of your affection is even worth your time.

So what is this effect and why should I care?

The Benjamin Franklin Effect (BFE) is a psychological finding that says that a person who has invested an effort into another person is more likely to invest even more into that same person. So what does this mean? Think about every time you’ve treated a woman you like out to dinner, paid the bill, gave her gifts. Your initial investment into that person will usually lead to another investment. Which means more dates, fancy gifts, or favors for that person in addition you becoming even more attracted to them.

How does this help me with women?

Glad you asked nice guy! Now that you know the principles of the B.F.E, you can now compare and contrast your level of investment and hers.  If you find yourself investing where your woman isn’t you know for a fact that her attraction to you isn’t there. This saves you a lot of wasted time, money, and energy in the dating game and can even help you land a real catch quicker.

The method isn’t difficult and you don’t even have to change your current approach. All you need to do is pay attention to her actions to gauge her level of investment. However nice guys I feel I must warn a few of you when it comes to effectively gauging a woman’s investment in you. In no way, shape, or form should you take any kind of physical contact as an investment. Hugs, pecks on the cheek and even sex can are often misconstrued by the gullible.

True investments are her picking up the tab, getting you a gift, or even taking you out… Basically anything you’d do for her. Now while you may say “Well these things aren’t exactly what a woman should do for me.” allow me to drag you out of the 1950’s and into the magical world of equality. There may be some extremely old fashion women out there (never met one but hey) however I doubt you’ll have one that likes you and not do something for you just because. Keep in mind the B.F.E isn’t only for gauging a woman’s affections to you but it also works on friendships, family, even work related relationships. It may just change the way you interact with everyone around you. Enjoy nice guys.

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Nice Guys: How (NOT) To Be A Sucker

Happy New Year gang it’s been over a month without any of my witty rants or words of wisdom. So today I figured I’d drop in to let you guys in on something that can ultimately lead to less hassles with the opposite sex. That something is how to refrain from being tagged as a sucker. Now some of you may know exactly what I am talking about and that’s awesome but for the remainder of you that are wondering what exactly constitutes the sucker label I will go into a bit of detail just for you.

What is a sucker?

To be blunt it’s a person that is extremely gullible beyond belief. In fact said person is so easily duped that it may seem like he is mentally deprived…stupid I think they call it. These kinds of guys do anything and everything for a woman’s amusement at their own expense. Why do they do it? Not even I know, but I do know it needs to stop.

Marco writes:

“So I’ve been casually dating this girl who is perhaps out of my league for a couple weeks now. By casual I mean she is upfront to me about seeing other guys (2 others) besides me. We’re not “exclusive”.
Anycase, we haven’t been physical yet…despite me wanting it badly and trying to coax her to bed nearly every night I see her. The more she resists and puts it off the more I want it. But in the meantime she has admitted to me that she has already slept with one of her other usual dates whom she has known for less than a week? How come she slept with him already and not me? She admitted to me that they have sex “a few times a week” but that he’s a “casual date” and not right for her “long term”. Am I being played by a woman? Analyze this situation for me. Would appreciate your opinion.”

Ladies and gentlemen this is a shining example of a sucker. I must say this women must be drop dead gorgeous because if any women told me she was dating two other guys and even slept with one with in 7 days of meeting them. I’d be out the door in less than 30 seconds. I mean call me old fashion or straight edge, but “dating” multiple people is probably the biggest fail anyone can achieve. I’ll rant on this in another post I promise because there are a ton of readers messing around with multiple people right now. You know who you are damn it!

Sucker Rehab

So by now you’ve probably realized that you have a problem or maybe you are in the same situation as Marco here (I pray that you are not). There are a few things that  you will have to stick to and at first it will probably be extremely difficult to do but rest assured I believe in you!

  • Realize you’re an idiot: Yes that might seem incredibly cold but until you realize that you are being a jack ass the sooner you will be on the road to recovery. Sure there might be that one time she genuinely needed help changing her tires, but jogging down to the auto zone and purchasing them is a bit much…
  • Learn to say No: I know you’ve probably watched “Yes Man” a million times and are trying to adopt the philosophy in your life but this is not one of those avenues… When addressed with a outrageous request or situation save yourself the trouble and say NO!
  • Have some standards: No standards means you are desperate and will do anything for the slightest bit of attention from a woman. Don’t be this guy. This is something you’d expect from a 12 year old hitting puberty. You’re a grown ass man, so make sure you have some standards in place to let her know you won’t jump through hoops.
  • Stop viewing women as rare occurrences: Women are everywhere! Hell they out number us in population. Try to realize that they aren’t going to mysteriously disappear if you don’t do stupid things for their enjoyment. Yes large breasts, thighs, ass and vagina are wonderful things. However it’s hardly a rare sight to behold. If it is for you the internet can take care of that in less than a second.

Now don’t think women don’t have this problem as well. They totally do but men seem to do some of the stupidest things you can imagine while in the warm caress of a woman’s attention and most women know this. So they will have their fun when and if they can at your expense. Men have  a habit of just getting in a woman’s pants when the roles are reversed, not that it excuses them from being douche bags either but at least they won’t put you ladies through some incredibly embarrassing situations.

I love women as much as the next guy. I like their company and I like to have intelligent conversations with the pretty ones. However I don’t believe I need to jump through hoops, perform tricks, or exert my manliness to get these things and if I get a hint of needing to do that with specific women I don’t waste my time and neither should you! Take this advice seriously, while I made a few jokes to lighten the mood so to speak doesn’t mean there isn’t any meaning to what I’m saying. Marco already knows the deal, and he is well on his way to being a better nice guy. Till next time guys which will be this month as I want to post a lot more because some of the stories I have to share are awesome in more ways than one.

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Nice Guys: Is Money The Real Key To A Woman’s Heart?

They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is the key to a woman’s heart through your wallet? While some women may find it offensive to assume such a thing. Most if not all men wonder at some point in time of their relationships if they object of their affection only hangs around because of a strong financial base. So today I am going to shed some light on the subject since the question keeps popping up.

The Real Deal…

Sure some women like a good looking guy, most women like a guys that take charge, but all women love a man with money. Before you get ahead of this lesson let me say that a woman’s opinion on financially stable varies depending on the type of lady you are dealing with.

For example a woman that makes twenty grand a year and dates a man whom makes between thirty or forty per year may feel she’s hit the jackpot. Others may feel that’s simply too low.

So your next question is (if you are with someone) “Does she like me because of my income.” I am gonna be blunt and say yes it does play a bigger role than you may think.

Fun Facts…

I know some of the female readers are probably scowling at my entry but I assure you I am only trying to enlighten and educate the nice guys before they end up getting themselves hurt. Now whether or not you agree, you can’t beat scientific studies. The boys over in Austria have done a clinical study on what exactly attracts a woman to a man and this is what they found.

  • Money Can Buy Love : looks, personality, and treatment mean very little to a woman as long as the man has deep pockets. This means if you are the most grotesque creature on the planet but you have money to burn. It turns you into the catch of the day. How is this possible? It’s Magic.
  • Your Car Makes You Look Good: If you own a top of the line vehicle that actually increases you chances of scoring a babe. Yes it’s totally disgusting I know, but it’s a fact.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
  • Your Salary Increases Attraction: If your salary exceeds hers, then she will stick around for the long haul. In addition women are more likely to leave a man who has unexpectedly lost hos job. Yup… like rats fleeing a rapidly sinking ship.

All in all, it comes down to your wallet guys. If your pockets aren’t deep enough, you won’t get the time of day unless you have been blatantly lying to get into her pants (Which is pretty low).

Protect Yourself…

By now you are probably wondering exactly how you can filter out the real love interests from the fake ones. While there is no fool proof way to screen potential girlfriends/wives (cause lets face it women are extremely good at lying) I do have a few tips and tricks you can start using from now on to see where her real interests lay.

  1. Don’t Speak Of It: Never speak of your financial situations whether you hit the lotto or the IRS sent you a nasty letter in the mail. Remember you want this woman to get to know you, not your wallet.
  2. Business & Pleasure Don’t Mix: Never speak about what you do, where you do it, and how much you make doing it. If she knows what you do for a living, then she knows how much you make. You don’t want that to be the reason this woman stays or goes.
  3. Keep Financial Documents Hidden: From bonds to ATM receipts. You want to keep those things away from prying eyes, and wondering hands. I myself have caught women sneaking a peek at my ATM receipts since it tells you how much cash you have in your account.
  4. Don’t Be A Wheel Man: If you are riding high, make sure you don’t become an errand boy. In my experiences a lot of women call if they don’t have a ride somewhere. Those types of women should make you sick. Make sure they know there is a lot more to you than a ride.
  5. Keep Family & Friends In The Know: If she can’t get info from you than she will go to friends or family. Inform them that they are never to discuss what you do for a living. EVER. Feel free to tell them the reason, I am sure they will quickly understand.

There you have it guys. The ugly truth that is a key to a woman’s heart, and if I may I’d like to say. If you are a guy that uses money to get with a woman it may be time to wake up and realize that you are being used for your money, your car, and your status. It would probably be easier to have a prostitute in your life, because the risks are pretty much the same in the dating world (go figure huh?). To the ladies, if this is you method of finding Mr.Right I gotta say you should probably change your approach…immediately. Till next time guys.

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Nice Guys: Dating At The Work Place

I’ve been browsing the questions a good portion of them begin with “There’s this girl I work with.” and I already know where this is going. Guys (and girls who read this) there are places that you simply don’t tread when it comes to trying to form a deep and meaningful relationship. One of those places is at work!

Most people often tend to make their place of work their main social outlet, when this happens it soon becomes a place to hook up. I am sure you have heard the old saying “Never mix business with pleasure.” Well today i am going to go over in great detail why you should stick to this motto the next time you think it might be a good idea to hook up with someone at work.

The Business End

Everyday before you go to work, you get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, take a shower, put on clothes, and dawn your business persona. Throughout your work day you go to great lengths to be as professional as humanly possible.  However there are a ton of obstacles in the work places specifically designed to break down that no nonsense mask you put on every day. Let’s go through them.

  • Social Butterflies: These men and women LOVE to chat and plan after work interactions. Technically harmless but can be an opener to the next group.
  • Gossipers: These people have nothing better to do than to talk about everyone behind their backs. They have the latest “scoops” and if you’ve been talking to the social butterflies often chances are they have a little dirt on you too.
  • Saboteurs: Don’t laugh because there are people you work with that want nothing more than seeing out out on your ass. These people usually stalk you quietly throughout the day to get as much dirt on you as possible to get you fired. They will even seek help of gossipers to do so.
  • Bosses: These guys are there to protect their investments. NOTHING MORE. These guys/girls are not your friend and probably never will be unless they are trying to get in your pants.

Bringing It All Together…

So how do these groups come into play when it comes to dating at the work place? I am so glad you asked! You see the more socially open you become the more interest you will gain with the opposite sex. From that point the gossipers start chattering about those interested in you, and will even encourage the union between you two.

This news will spread like wild fire in the span of 24 hours guaranteed. From this point the saboteurs will keep a close eye on you to see what they can use against you. Once the bosses hear about the news even they will start to watch you like a hawk, then you can expect to be called into offices, strange work duties, and other things that should be a red flag to you.

Hazards Of The Relationship.

Oh you thought I was telling you not to date at work because of your colleagues? No! That was only a warm up my friend, the real reasons start here!

  • Constant Interaction: Let’s face it too much interaction in today’s society is actually a bad thing. People get bored, feel trapped, etc. On top of that you’re at work! Why put up with the hassle?
  • Everyone Knows: Not only does everyone know you date, but if things go bad they now know about those really private things you haven’t told anyone.
  • Women Cheat: Yes yes I know what you are gonna say men cheat too, but it’s a statistical fact women cheat with co workers. I know from experience as well. Now you have to deal with a cheating partner, a douche-bag co worker, and the normal grind of your job. FUN FUN!
  • Distractions: A partner at the work place is a HUGE distraction, you don’t perform at your best, and people are watching even when you think they are not.
  • Ta Da! You’re Unemployed: Conflicts, lack of performance, and distractions screws with everyone’s money. Yours, your partners, and your boss’s. The only remedy to this issue to fire certain individuals. Namely you. Women are usually warned, but guys are normally fired outright(Yes that is a statistical fact).

Finishing Up

There you have it, these are just some of the major hazards when dealing with love at the work place. Nine of out ten it simply is not worth the effort or the time. In addition you could end up losing a lot more than just a failed relationship, you will be losing money and employment if you are not careful.

Keep a professional demeanor at work, if the ladies take notice that’s all fine and dandy but make sure it does not go anywhere. No relationship, casual sex, or prolonged conversations. It is simply not worth it.

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Nice Guys: Men Who Are Door Mats

Guys, I am going to be honest. I’m a little bit pissed off right now. I came across a gentleman with a very serious quandary. To make a very long story short, this man has been married for a relatively short time (he did not specify) and has been having problems with his jealousy towards his wife’s past. Now this man’s wife is a bit of a…”Free Spirit”.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it, this woman has been around the block a few times. Which keep in mind guys is one of the biggest red flags that can ever slap you in the face. Any way, prior to hooking up with him this woman has slept with two guys in the span of 48 hours then adding him to the list with in less than 7 days.

They move in together, get a big place to prepare for the baby(Oh yeah…she is pregnant too). Until one day he comes home early to find his wife locked in the bed room with another man. Now at this point in time I would have left them both out on the street with the guy laying right on his ass! However our nice guy decided he would wait till the stranger left his house to talk to his wife.  WHAT!? If that wasn’t bad enough she refused to tell him who the guy was. Now he wants to know how to get past this incident and move on. Then it occurred to me…this guy is your typical full fledged door mat!

The Traits Of A Door Mat:

Just reading this question pissed me off to the point where I had to address this issue amongst anyone who reads the Nice Guy Blue Print regularly or happens across it in the future. If you have the majority of the traits that I am about to list, you are a freaking door mat and need to start changing things around for yourself.

  • Lack Of Self Worth: If you are one of those types of people that feel that you have nothing to genuinely offer the world. Chances are you will bow down to people you feel that do.
  • Extremely Passive: If you are the type of person to avoid any and all confrontation. I am not saying arguing is the best thing in the world, because I hate arguing…over stupid things in general. However If someone oh I dunno  screws your wife in your house you have a God given right to whip somebody’s ass!
  • You Won’t Stand Up For Yourself: If you find yourself backing down from situations even those that you are clearly in the right. You might want to wipe the mud off your shirt because you are being stepped on.
  • You Try To Please Everyone: You bust your ass day in and day out trying to make sure you please everyone around you even if they do not deserve it.

These are the average traits of what I like to call a door mat and if you even have one of these habits there is a good chance you are putting up with too much Bull in your waking life.  In the next post I will go ahead and show some ways to break out of these habits and start reclaiming some dignity. I have already instructed our poor nice guy on the next steps, but I am a little doubtful that he will stand up to his wife.  Time will tell.

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