Tag Archives: opinion

Nice Guys : The Rape Culture Hype & Your Role In It

 

Alright nice guys this is a bit of a rant/educational/guide post here. I’m a little pissed off here and I want to go ahead and take the time before I begin my rant to address to my readers that they might see some strong language. Having said that let’s go ahead and get this show on the road.

The History Lesson:

Rape culture isn’t something new and if you’re the type of individual that tends to live your life instead of living in the media world chances are you’ve never heard of it until recently. In short rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to a culture of society that normalizes, condones , tolerates and excuses rape. This concept has been around since the 1970’s and is often used by feminists to describe the American culture as a whole.

My Problem With This:

In wake of the Isla Vista incident activists decided this would be a great tool in which to teach individuals about the “War on Women” (Yes i put it in quotes because I feel it’s bullshit). This unfortunate incident sparked the #YesAllWomen twitter campaign, a slew of women’s rights articles, etc. Now this was all well and good until I somehow became part of the rape culture problem, oh and you (providing you have a penis) are part of the problem as well! Allow me to explain.

A couple of days ago I came across an article on the Huffington Post titled : A Gentleman’s Guide To Rape Culture and what I read was basically an insult to any self respecting individual with a penis. Now the author explains that all men perpetuates rape culture. How is this possible? Well it’s because you have a penis, that one point alone puts you in the pool with the sick and demented bastards out there that actually pray on people. Screw the fact that you haven’t ever touched anyone let alone a woman in a sexual way without their consent. Hell the fact you have no past history of sexual violence or even a police record still doesn’t excuse you from playing a vital role in rape culture.

The author proceeds to explain that as a man he has the freedom to go anywhere he wants without the worry of being attacked and women feel the opposite. Last time I checked women had the freedom to rape children, claim a man’s assets, and physically assault a man without paying any serious consequences, but I digress. Then he recommends that men use clear body language and act in a way to minimize her fear of being attacked. Yes you need to move and act in a certain way so that any woman you happen to pass doesn’t feel threatened. Oh…my…God. Can I buy whatever drugs this guy is on? This is feminist brainwashing at it’s best but my problem with this doesn’t end here.

Earlier I mentioned the Isla Vista incident and it sparking activist actions like #YesAllWomen and other media. The problem with this is that the foundation of all this action is based on misinformation! Now those attacks took the lives of 4 men, 2 women and the killer as well. Nobody wins in that situation but it’s been turned into some sort of attack against women specifically. I’m not excusing Elliot Rodger’s behavior but the fact is this guy was physically, mentally & emotionally abused by his peers, there is video and documentation proving these facts. However the news and the media focused on his hang ups with women. Anyone else remember the news bringing up the 4 guys that where killed during this whole thing? Yeah me either…

So what happens is activists start speaking about how this is a war against women and that American culture is a rape culture. We went from a violent crime against both genders to a war against women to America being a society that advocates rape. What!? Hell we had Miss USA bring up a brilliant idea of learning self defense to address college rape and she was considered an idiot. Far be it from all these women who are scared shitless of being raped to have the tools to prevent it. How dare she. “Men should just not rape” I shit you not, that is an actual response.

A Real Guide To Rape Culture For Men:

You guys want to know what you should do with all this crap about rape culture? Here are my top recommendations:

  1. Don’t buy into media hype or get involved with social media bullshit. Not only is it riddled with false information it has a habit of brainwashing you into believing that somehow you (as a man) are the problem. If you take an interest in a story on social media look into the facts yourself! I still find it amazing that Elliot Rodger’s rampage is being passed off as War On Women. Get the facts straight people.
  2. Don’t apologize for being a man. You were born with a penis, congratulations! Don’t ever consider it some kind of badge of shame. Yes there are bad men out there but you know what there are diabolical women out here as well.
  3. Don’t Take Responsibility for another person’s hangups. You know everyone is scared of something, it’s part of being human. As a man I can definitely tell you  in the back of my mind I’m afraid of being wrongfully attacked by the police, but it would be stupid of me to tell all cops to approach me with their hands raised. If you are so scared of something to the effect of being socially paralyzed then you need professional help. Take the steps to get over it.
  4. Remember we live in a feminine society. Although equality is the theme any man knows good and well women have the advantage. It’s a sad day when it comes down to men having to video tape themselves being attacked by women so they can avoid going to jail.
  5. Just say no to drugs & a large portion of alcohol. 57% of rapes apparently happen on dates and75% of men & 55% of women were drinking or taking drugs before the attack. Understand what I’m saying? Good. Ease off the booze, LSD, weed, whatever the hell you kids are taking these days. Also It’s OK to say no to women who may throw themselves at you in a drunken or drug filled stupor. I’ve done it more times and I can tell you I don’t regret any of those choices because chances are it probably kept me out of jail.
  6. Violence Against Anyone Is Wrong. Let’s take a moment here and realize violence against any human being is wrong. Men, women, & children are at risk of being attacked in some way. No one is immune! Let’s get rid of the notion that some how women are the only ones that have targets painted on their backs.

Alright people that’s my rant for today until next time be safe, keep your wits about you, and keep your guard up! As always feel free to comment, rate, like, share, & spread the word! This is definitely one of the most important topics for men of all ages to discuss. Thanks for reading.

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Nice Guys : The Benjamin Franklin Effect

Nice guys! How do you get a woman in which you are attracted to like you? Do you give them lots of attention? Treat them out to dinner? Shower them with gifts? Always pay for the bill? How often have you gone that extra mile for someone only to have it blow up in your face later on? What if I told you there was a fool proof way to properly gauge a woman’s genuine affection for you without you putting yourself in too much of a compromising position? Well wish no more nice guys I have just that for you today. This technique is called “The Benjamin Franklin Effect” and is today’s topic of discussion. Today you are going to discover how to use this effect to your advantage and see whether the object of your affection is even worth your time.

So what is this effect and why should I care?

The Benjamin Franklin Effect (BFE) is a psychological finding that says that a person who has invested an effort into another person is more likely to invest even more into that same person. So what does this mean? Think about every time you’ve treated a woman you like out to dinner, paid the bill, gave her gifts. Your initial investment into that person will usually lead to another investment. Which means more dates, fancy gifts, or favors for that person in addition you becoming even more attracted to them.

How does this help me with women?

Glad you asked nice guy! Now that you know the principles of the B.F.E, you can now compare and contrast your level of investment and hers.  If you find yourself investing where your woman isn’t you know for a fact that her attraction to you isn’t there. This saves you a lot of wasted time, money, and energy in the dating game and can even help you land a real catch quicker.

The method isn’t difficult and you don’t even have to change your current approach. All you need to do is pay attention to her actions to gauge her level of investment. However nice guys I feel I must warn a few of you when it comes to effectively gauging a woman’s investment in you. In no way, shape, or form should you take any kind of physical contact as an investment. Hugs, pecks on the cheek and even sex can are often misconstrued by the gullible.

True investments are her picking up the tab, getting you a gift, or even taking you out… Basically anything you’d do for her. Now while you may say “Well these things aren’t exactly what a woman should do for me.” allow me to drag you out of the 1950’s and into the magical world of equality. There may be some extremely old fashion women out there (never met one but hey) however I doubt you’ll have one that likes you and not do something for you just because. Keep in mind the B.F.E isn’t only for gauging a woman’s affections to you but it also works on friendships, family, even work related relationships. It may just change the way you interact with everyone around you. Enjoy nice guys.

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Nice Guys: How (NOT) To Be A Sucker

Happy New Year gang it’s been over a month without any of my witty rants or words of wisdom. So today I figured I’d drop in to let you guys in on something that can ultimately lead to less hassles with the opposite sex. That something is how to refrain from being tagged as a sucker. Now some of you may know exactly what I am talking about and that’s awesome but for the remainder of you that are wondering what exactly constitutes the sucker label I will go into a bit of detail just for you.

What is a sucker?

To be blunt it’s a person that is extremely gullible beyond belief. In fact said person is so easily duped that it may seem like he is mentally deprived…stupid I think they call it. These kinds of guys do anything and everything for a woman’s amusement at their own expense. Why do they do it? Not even I know, but I do know it needs to stop.

Marco writes:

“So I’ve been casually dating this girl who is perhaps out of my league for a couple weeks now. By casual I mean she is upfront to me about seeing other guys (2 others) besides me. We’re not “exclusive”.
Anycase, we haven’t been physical yet…despite me wanting it badly and trying to coax her to bed nearly every night I see her. The more she resists and puts it off the more I want it. But in the meantime she has admitted to me that she has already slept with one of her other usual dates whom she has known for less than a week? How come she slept with him already and not me? She admitted to me that they have sex “a few times a week” but that he’s a “casual date” and not right for her “long term”. Am I being played by a woman? Analyze this situation for me. Would appreciate your opinion.”

Ladies and gentlemen this is a shining example of a sucker. I must say this women must be drop dead gorgeous because if any women told me she was dating two other guys and even slept with one with in 7 days of meeting them. I’d be out the door in less than 30 seconds. I mean call me old fashion or straight edge, but “dating” multiple people is probably the biggest fail anyone can achieve. I’ll rant on this in another post I promise because there are a ton of readers messing around with multiple people right now. You know who you are damn it!

Sucker Rehab

So by now you’ve probably realized that you have a problem or maybe you are in the same situation as Marco here (I pray that you are not). There are a few things that  you will have to stick to and at first it will probably be extremely difficult to do but rest assured I believe in you!

  • Realize you’re an idiot: Yes that might seem incredibly cold but until you realize that you are being a jack ass the sooner you will be on the road to recovery. Sure there might be that one time she genuinely needed help changing her tires, but jogging down to the auto zone and purchasing them is a bit much…
  • Learn to say No: I know you’ve probably watched “Yes Man” a million times and are trying to adopt the philosophy in your life but this is not one of those avenues… When addressed with a outrageous request or situation save yourself the trouble and say NO!
  • Have some standards: No standards means you are desperate and will do anything for the slightest bit of attention from a woman. Don’t be this guy. This is something you’d expect from a 12 year old hitting puberty. You’re a grown ass man, so make sure you have some standards in place to let her know you won’t jump through hoops.
  • Stop viewing women as rare occurrences: Women are everywhere! Hell they out number us in population. Try to realize that they aren’t going to mysteriously disappear if you don’t do stupid things for their enjoyment. Yes large breasts, thighs, ass and vagina are wonderful things. However it’s hardly a rare sight to behold. If it is for you the internet can take care of that in less than a second.

Now don’t think women don’t have this problem as well. They totally do but men seem to do some of the stupidest things you can imagine while in the warm caress of a woman’s attention and most women know this. So they will have their fun when and if they can at your expense. Men have  a habit of just getting in a woman’s pants when the roles are reversed, not that it excuses them from being douche bags either but at least they won’t put you ladies through some incredibly embarrassing situations.

I love women as much as the next guy. I like their company and I like to have intelligent conversations with the pretty ones. However I don’t believe I need to jump through hoops, perform tricks, or exert my manliness to get these things and if I get a hint of needing to do that with specific women I don’t waste my time and neither should you! Take this advice seriously, while I made a few jokes to lighten the mood so to speak doesn’t mean there isn’t any meaning to what I’m saying. Marco already knows the deal, and he is well on his way to being a better nice guy. Till next time guys which will be this month as I want to post a lot more because some of the stories I have to share are awesome in more ways than one.

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Nice Guys: Can Men & Women Be Friends?

 

Hello and welcome to another exciting post. It’s been a few weeks and as many of you that have been keeping up know posts have been a little sporadic due to me working on my home business. Now while that may be my main focus you all know my passions about relationships burns deep. Today I wanted to answer a question asked by young reader in regards to an issue he has with a female “friend”.

Joshua asks:

“I am really great friends with a classmate of mine, and I have started falling in love with her and I am wondering if I should tell her?”

Alright, I want to go ahead and get one thing out of the way immediately. You started falling in love from the moment you first met. I am a guy, I can see through that “I started falling in love.” crap. When it comes to us guys we are either attracted or not. Never will you meet a woman, have no attraction to them and then develop one. Women on the other hand are different. They can actually meet you with no attraction and then develop one later on.

Allow me to break it down for the guys. You meet a woman, you have an attraction, if she isn’t reciprocating then you settle for friendship in hopes of getting something later. This is the case for every single woman you are “friends” with. A woman isn’t a machine where you put kindness coins into until sex falls out! I hate to be black and white, but ask yourself this question.

If your female friend came to you and offered sex would you accept?

Unless you play for the other team (nothing wrong with that by the way) you will accept the offer without question. Men can often be delusional when it comes to having female friends. Do not kid yourself. Female friends are not possible unless you are homosexual, castrated, or have no pulse. If a woman calls you a friend you give her the face. What face? This face

Now when it comes to approaching a women with whom you are attracted, you want to make sure there is some irrefutable proof that there is an interest between you two. I personally like to use what I like to call the “Door” method because it works 100% of the time without seeming like a horn dog.

What the hell is the door method?

Think of the door method as a magic 8 ball. You ask a question and the ball says yes, no, or maybe. It’s just like that except we are removing the maybe part.The door method can be used physically and mentally.

Physically

When you run into your “friend” and they hug you. Examine the way they hug you, for example someone that has absolutely no interest in you will do the “ironing board”. They will bend at the waste keeping their pelvis far from yours, while someone that has some sentiment of attraction to you will have no problem standing closer and hugging for longer periods.

Also keep in mind if this person keeps touching you on the knees, arms, and shoulder. Most women have a habit of constantly touching guys they are attracted to. The more attracted the more touching.

Mentally

This is usually the easiest way to tell if a woman is attracted to you with the least bit of resistances. When engaged in a conversation bring up something that you have an interest in doing (Not Her…) in the near future. Women who have an attraction to you will often reply with an open ended remark so that they can be invited to that thing you are doing.

For example:

You: Man! Have you heard about [Insert New Movie Coming Out Here] next week? I can’t wait to see it!

Her: Oh me too. I really want to see it.

See? She is leaving the door open for an invention from you. If she had no interest in you, chances are she would of told you something negative or generic. Something like “Oh” or “that’s cool”. It’s important to listen to what she says because guys can be a little delusional when it comes to a woman being interested. Just because you carried her bag to class doesn’t mean she wants you in the worst way.

There you have it a simple way to tell if that woman you are chasing secretly want you to pummel her in a fun way without the risk of having your guts ripped out in front of the world…Your welcome.

What do I do if she doesn’t like me?

So you found out she doesn’t like you but you are still stuck on her and you need to make her yours. The best thing you can do is simply stay off her radar for a few weeks or even months. That means no contact, no checking up on her, no nothing. You want to do this for a few reasons.

Firstly you want to let her know you have better things to do. Women actually like guys with their own life. I know I know I’m shocked as well…

Secondly you want to kind of get off her radar. She will want to know what been going on with you after a long hiatus. This gives you the opportunity to kind of reintroduce yourself to her. It’s especially effective if you have gotten in shape or changed your look.

If reintroduction doesn’t work then it’s best to cut your losses and move onward to better and brighter things. What I really want you guys to get though is that you don’t have female friend, only acquaintances! Women do have male friends, but it’s only because they think differently. Good luck out there fellas.

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Nice Guys: Money & It’s Effects On You.

Stemming from my last post, the topic of money has started to gain a bit of popularity as of late. Money has been on the minds of many (me included) over the past few days and the situations vary but the questions ultimately ask the exact same thing.

“Where is all the money and how can I get it?”

Money Has It’s Adverse Effects…

Money will forever be to root of your problems, even when you think it has absolutely nothing to do with it. Sure there will be those isolated incidents but the truth is those problems are far and between. It’s not until you really stop and think about it, that you realize money has a lot more control of your life than you care to admit.

It effects every aspect of your life and lets be clear. I mean every aspect that you can think of. Here is a small run down.

  • How you live: Let’s face it. Unless you live on an uninhabited island you need money to live normally. The less you have the worse your living conditions.
  • What you eat: TV dinners have their place in the world, but it you have money. Chances are you will be eating healthier meals instead of heavily processed foods.
  • What you do: Money is the difference between being a couch potatoes or the guy goes skiing every weekend. The difference between being a workaholic and someone who controls their leisure time.
  • Who you associate with: They say “Birds of a feather flock together.” and let me tell you it is 1000% true. It is no different with those with little or no money.
  • What you own: Although I am not a material individual, lack of money obviously controls what kind of car you drive, the kind of clothes you wear, and where you live.
  • Your health: Lack of money can be depressing…literally. Those that are struggling are probably dealing with poor health due to the stress over money. What’s worse is they can’t afford to be treated properly either due tot he lack of funds.
  • Your relationships: The difference of being single, and being with someone. In my last post I covered a very touchy topic concerning women, money, and you. Again it’s been proven, more money makes you more attractive. Unfortunate, but true.
  • What you think: Not having money is the difference between “Yes I can” and “No I can’t”. Pretty depressing I know.

By now I am sure you are seeing just how much money plays a role in your life and it’s not until you have a serious abundance of it that you are truly ever free from it.

What Can I Do To Get More?

  While I am by no means an expert at making money (because I am no billionaire) I do have over ten years experience in the topic. I have had my fair share of failures, success, and mediocre results. I won’t pretend to know it all (because lord knows there are so many wannabes) but I will tell you what I have learned thus far.

  • Pay Yourself: If you have an income (Job, Self Employment, Etc) try to pay yourself about 30% of it each time you get paid. The 70% can go to necessities while you keep the rest.
  • Dream Big: If you are looking to vastly improve your income, then you have to have a big vision of it. Reason being is because it’s actually something to work for versus something that becomes so insignificant that it’s no longer thought about.
  • Start Small: Take baby steps with whatever you start to undertake, whether it be a second job, business, whatever. It will get overwhelming if you try to do too much too fast. Create a pace that works for you and begin.
  • Actually Do Something: I have had my share of procrastination (and still do) and it’s so easy to sit and think about the who, why, what, where, and how. In fact it’s one of the biggest roadblocks and one of the hardest to get through. Do something everyday and you will see results.
  • Make Sure You Enjoy It: If you are going to make more money working a second or third job. You should probably make sure you enjoy it to some extent. Nothing says “I want to blow my brains out” like working at a job you absolutely hate… let alone two or three of them.
  • Leave Your Comfort Zone: It is scary as hell to take risks and do things you’ve never done, but you have to realize at some point in time to get something you’ve never had before. You need to do something you’ve never done as well.
  • Commit To It: It won’t happen if you are not dedicated. Plain and simple.

I won’t try to paint a pretty picture when it comes to increasing your income.It is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Some get lucky and see results faster but the majority of success stories are years in the making. It’s actually a statistical fact that if you spent 20 years trying to become a millionaire, and failed you would still be better off than a person working till they are 65yrs old getting ready to retire. Just a little food for thought.

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Nice Guys: Getting Out Of The Friend Zone

Continuing from yesterday’s friend zone session I have decided not to leave you guys hanging by thinking you are trapped there forever. Today I will be giving you guaranteed methods for getting you out of the zone. I must warn you though, this is going to take a lot of effort, discipline, and guts.

Teach Me Master…

 We got ourselves in this mess because of her perception of us.  We did things that branded us friend material, and although being friends is nice (I guess?) it’s not what we want. Here is a list of our first steps of our long hard road out of hell.

  1. Take Your Ball & Go Home: This isn’t an after school special or some kind of a play date. If you want her to see you as someone she can see herself with stop making yourself so available. This means stop calling, stop texting, stop treating her out, stop listening to her issues, and definitely stop being the guy who wipes the tears from her face. You need to remain off her radar for at least a month. No need to be a jerk or blow her off, just give her the “I’m busy” line(I’m sure you have heard it plenty of times too).
  2. Focus On Yourself: Having your own life is attractive to everyone. Start doing things that interest you, because if you are like most people. Chances are chasing this person around has left you in an unhappy state of mind. Start having fun again, work on life goals, get in shape. You are starting to get what I am saying here right?
  3. See Other Women: Before you even think it. Listen… I am not saying you need to be attracted to these other women what so ever. Just hang out with other girls and enjoy your time. This does a few things for you. It helps you understand that women are human just like you and me and thus become less intimidating, easier to talk to, and easier to walk away from.
  4. Reconnect: After a month or so she what she’s up to. Talk to her about things you’ve been doing and with who. Mentioning a female’s name or two or three usually advocates a little jealousy. Remember little to no contact for at least a month before reconnection.
  5. Make Flexible Plans: Invite her out, but make sure your plans are possible to do WITHOUT her. If she says no why have your night ruined in the process? A good example of this is to have a couple of friend and yourself head out to a movie, bowling, whatever. The key factor is whether or not she comes along the night is still going to happen and it will be HER loss if she declines.

It looks easy on paper, but trust me it’s a lot harder to implement depending on how much you want this. A lot of guys feel if they cut their time short, that the other person will “move on”. Let me tell you something, the more of a friend you are the easier it is for them to move on.

Best to just go ahead and start the transformation now, before you end up sitting on a couch eating a bowl of ice cream wondering why on earth you did so many stupid things that put you in the friend zone in the first place.

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