Tag Archives: nice guys finish last meaning

Nice Guys : The Benjamin Franklin Effect

Nice guys! How do you get a woman in which you are attracted to like you? Do you give them lots of attention? Treat them out to dinner? Shower them with gifts? Always pay for the bill? How often have you gone that extra mile for someone only to have it blow up in your face later on? What if I told you there was a fool proof way to properly gauge a woman’s genuine affection for you without you putting yourself in too much of a compromising position? Well wish no more nice guys I have just that for you today. This technique is called “The Benjamin Franklin Effect” and is today’s topic of discussion. Today you are going to discover how to use this effect to your advantage and see whether the object of your affection is even worth your time.

So what is this effect and why should I care?

The Benjamin Franklin Effect (BFE) is a psychological finding that says that a person who has invested an effort into another person is more likely to invest even more into that same person. So what does this mean? Think about every time you’ve treated a woman you like out to dinner, paid the bill, gave her gifts. Your initial investment into that person will usually lead to another investment. Which means more dates, fancy gifts, or favors for that person in addition you becoming even more attracted to them.

How does this help me with women?

Glad you asked nice guy! Now that you know the principles of the B.F.E, you can now compare and contrast your level of investment and hers.  If you find yourself investing where your woman isn’t you know for a fact that her attraction to you isn’t there. This saves you a lot of wasted time, money, and energy in the dating game and can even help you land a real catch quicker.

The method isn’t difficult and you don’t even have to change your current approach. All you need to do is pay attention to her actions to gauge her level of investment. However nice guys I feel I must warn a few of you when it comes to effectively gauging a woman’s investment in you. In no way, shape, or form should you take any kind of physical contact as an investment. Hugs, pecks on the cheek and even sex can are often misconstrued by the gullible.

True investments are her picking up the tab, getting you a gift, or even taking you out… Basically anything you’d do for her. Now while you may say “Well these things aren’t exactly what a woman should do for me.” allow me to drag you out of the 1950’s and into the magical world of equality. There may be some extremely old fashion women out there (never met one but hey) however I doubt you’ll have one that likes you and not do something for you just because. Keep in mind the B.F.E isn’t only for gauging a woman’s affections to you but it also works on friendships, family, even work related relationships. It may just change the way you interact with everyone around you. Enjoy nice guys.

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The Nice Guy: Defining The Stigma

Being a nice guy in 2012 can be difficult, in fact it’s probably one of the hardest things any man can do. You’re average nice guy today is considered to be at the bottom of every social ladder you can think of but the real question is why? In this post we will attempt to define in great detail “the nice guy stigma”.

Are you a nice guy?

Just so we are clear, below is a small questionnaire that will undoubtedly define the average nice guy. Each question is worth 10%, the higher your percentage the nicer you are. If you score 100% then that means you are one kind individual!

  1. Do you often go out of your way for friends,family, or women?
  2. Are you usually the “shoulder to cry on” when someone is down?
  3. Do you avoid most if not all conflicts?
  4. Do you have any female friends that are not from your childhood(5-12 yrs old)?
  5. Are you naturally shy?
  6. Do you want a woman for more than just sex?
  7. Is your morale compass pointed in the right direction 98% of the time?
  8. Do you find yourself being taken advantage of by just about everybody you know?(Be honest with yourself!)
  9. Do you prefer to be friends with a woman before you date?
  10. Do you try to avoid staring at a woman’s body because you don’t want to seem disrespectful?

If you answered yes to 8 or more of these questions consider yourself a grade A nice guy!  Now sans question #8, whats so wrong with a guy having these kinds of qualities? Seemingly nothing right? Well while it may appear normal to us (nice guys) the rest of the world see’s it in a completely different light. Allow me to clarify…

Through The Eyes Of Other Men:

In the eyes of less pleasant gentlemen (for some I use that term loosely) the nice guy is literally nothing more than a victim. He is the one that will always be considered a loser no matter how successful he actually is.

Through The Eyes Of Women:

In the eyes of (most) women us nice guys are simply door mats. We are the men they settle for once they have had their fill of “other men”, because they know we will gladly accept them once they are finished. It’s sad and unfortunately very true.

The Final Verdict:

It seems that the nice guy does have a lot of redeeming qualities, however these qualities mean just about jack squat to society. Maybe you are saying “To hell with society, I am great just the way I am!” and I agree, but unless you plan on living on an island or starting your own “nice guy and girl” community you are going to have to fully adapt to come out on top.

This blog will continue to delve deeper into the very core of the nice guy and start to adapt into a whole new breed that not only women will crave, but society as a whole as well. A little disclaimer for all readers, this blog will become very graphic depending on topic, real life stories, and strong language may be used in up coming posts. I can’t help my fellow man by restricting myself, so I will be giving it 100%. Stay tuned!

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