Tag Archives: bad truth

The Ugly Truth Behind Sexual Harassment

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Hello everyone. It’s been a while (actually one full year!) since my last post and many people are probably wondering what’s been up. To keep it short and simple this blog is a hobby and a passion of mine I constantly have to put aside. However this year I want to dedicate more time to this blog and view it more as a business that I want to cultivate and grow other than something I just do when I feel like ranting. Having said that you guys (and girls) can expect regular content from now on, although I have not yet decided on the scheduling. This year is going to address a lot of topics that are going to be even more beneficial then last years, and will keep you safe in the land of women. In today’s topic I want to uncover a hidden truth behind sexual harassment that many men simply don’t know about.

Sexual Harassment & Feminism.

Sexual harassment is described as an unwanted or uninvited verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature. In all respects it’s a pretty serious crime and can be socially crippling to individuals that are found guilty of this crime. Now most of us have already been taught what accounts as sexual harassment, be it from work, school, or that one white knight friend you have. However what most of us don’t know is that feminism is trying to weaponize sexual harassment by changing it’s definition and even by adopting sub terms such as “Street Harassment”. Which is a made up term created by feminist groups to further the agenda of a female ruled society. According to these groups street harassment is “any action or comment between strangers in public places that is deemed disrespectful, unwelcome, threatening and/or harassing and is motivated by gender or sexual orientation or gender expression.”

So why is this bullshit?

Well for starters this is based purely off opinion. Meaning I can accuse someone of harassment because I’m in a crappy mood even if the interaction was positive. Secondly this is how 99% of couples meet the other 1% is arranged. Their boyfriends and husbands approached them in public and formed a relationship from there. Since the beginning of time men have almost always been the initiators when it comes to meeting the opposite sex. Now for some reason it’s become a major issue for women but what exactly is that issue? The truth may not shock you at all.

The Truth Of It All.

The truth of the matter is women love being approached, but they hate being approached by the average every day man.  Watch any of the widely popular street harassment videos and look at the caliber of men that are approaching these women. All of them are low status males, horribly dressed, obese, etc and unfortunately for women this is the norm. Replace those guys with athletic and well dressed men and not a single woman would complain. Street harassment is nothing more than a double standard designed to discourage the average male from approaching women. While a bold move it’s ultimately proved to be a pretty stupid one considering more and more men are getting wise to idiotic movements feminist groups are trying to push on to an already female friendly society. Don’t fall for these tactics fellas, until next time.

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Nice Guys : Pedestaling & You

Image Credit : zahodi-vgosti.ru

Hello nice guys(and gals), today I have a bit of a treat post for you. Truth be told this subject has been on my mind since last week and I knew instantly that it was going to be my next post’s topic. Today’s topic is about pedestaling, what it is, why you shouldn’t do it and how it changes you for the worse.

We’ve all placed women on a pedestal at some point in time of our lives, but the average nice guy has a terrible tendency to do this on a regular basis. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong to be polite to the opposite sex but that is where you should probably draw the line. In this post I have a strange story of how a nice guy takes putting women on a pedestal to the extreme. His post is rather long so I will be cutting it up for the sake of length.

Our nice guy’s name is Thomas, he’s been married to his wife for five years but as of late things haven’t been all rainbows and sunshine. Thomas says:

Several months ago, we were at a low point in our marriage. I was always busy with work and didn’t spend enough time with her. She felt that we were becoming distant. Many arguments arose and our love in one another felt like it was dwindling. At this time, I had to go away on a business trip for the weekend. My wife was alone at home, with our problems unresolved, and felt empty. She sought to ease the pain with alcohol at a local bar. In a moment of weakness, she had an affair with one of the patrons. Immediately, the next morning, she called me in tears and told me what happened. I felt anger, betrayal, and sorrow, and found myself unable to deal with the situation. I couldn’t talk my precious wife for days.

Immediately, the next morning, she called me in tears and told me what happened. I felt anger, betrayal, and sorrow, and found myself unable to deal with the situation. I couldn’t talk my precious wife for days.At this point, our marriage was greater than it’s ever been. However, a life changing issue has arisen in past two weeks. My wife had been feeling sick and no common medicine seemed to help. As time went by, she began to question if perhaps her ills were a result of a pregnancy. Sure enough, we went to her doctor and he confirmed that my wife was now 9 weeks pregnant. A realization hit the both of us that given the timing, there was no chance that I could be the father. Therefore the pregnancy was the result of my wife’s affair. The news broke her heart, and has left me in a state of depression. Once again, the feelings of anger and betrayal arose, leaving me distant from my wife.

At this point, I’m not sure what to do. Horrible thoughts of divorce and abortion enter my mind every day, and I’m trying my best to suppress them. I have fears that if we have this child together, I might resent him/her. The man my wife had the affair with was African American, while she and I are both Caucasian. This presents another fear as it would be clear to the child that I’m not the true father. How would I explain this to him/her? How would I explain this to others? Many thoughts keep passing through my mind, and I don’t know what to do. I feel alone, both emotionally and spiritually, and am questioning why God has allowed this to happen.”

Now dealing with a cheating partner is never easy, and it’s especially difficult being a nice guy. After reading Tom’s plea I can’t help but think he has this woman on a pedestal and no matter what she does wrong he can’t seem to knock her off. Notice how Tom seems to blame himself for his wife’s actions, and down right says he has no right to judge her! The reason I’m choosing Tom’s story is not because it’s the worst I’ve ever seen but the least extreme.

This poor guy is essentially apologizing for something his wife did to him and blaming it on everyone except the person who did the wrong doing. This is the end result of pedestaling guys, it completely destroys your perception and makes you lose focus of what’s going on around you. Let’s break down the effects to be clear guys.

The Causes:

What causes a guy to literally go blind(love is blind? see what I did there?) when in the presence of a woman? Great question, here are a few  answers.

  • Because you mom said so: In today’s world most parent/s teach their men in training to  always respect women and be nice to them.
  • Reward: For some strange reason nice guys think that if they trip over themselves with the sole purpose of making a woman happy that it will some how land them together. Guys it’s a lot more complicated than that and I promise in another post I’ll break it down for you.
  • Attention: Nice guys hate being ignored by someone that they like. It makes them sad, depressed, and mad at the world. They will do anything to get rid of those feelings.

The Effects:

  • She can’t do anything wrong: Having a woman on a pedestal makes you paint them in a perfect light, so perfect in fact that if she did anything wrong it wouldn’t even register in your brain. Enter Tom…
  • You are no longer important: You stop looking out for number one, and just look after her. Again this makes you lose focus on what is really going on in your relationship. Tom again…
  • Everything is your fault: If she leaves you or hooks up with someone else. Some how it turns out to be your fault and your fault alone.

In conclusion guys you really need to step back and see if you have adopted any of the symptoms above and if you have you seriously need to reverse the process before you end up like Thomas. A middle aged man that has been married to a wife that had an affair and is carrying a baby that isn’t his. Somewhere in Tom’s mind she didn’t do anything wrong, and he has no right to judge her. Nice guys this is your fate if you don’t stop putting women you are attracted to on a pedestal. Stay tuned for net week’s post as always comments, questions, complaints, concerns, and confessions are welcome!

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Nice Guys: How (NOT) To Be A Sucker

Happy New Year gang it’s been over a month without any of my witty rants or words of wisdom. So today I figured I’d drop in to let you guys in on something that can ultimately lead to less hassles with the opposite sex. That something is how to refrain from being tagged as a sucker. Now some of you may know exactly what I am talking about and that’s awesome but for the remainder of you that are wondering what exactly constitutes the sucker label I will go into a bit of detail just for you.

What is a sucker?

To be blunt it’s a person that is extremely gullible beyond belief. In fact said person is so easily duped that it may seem like he is mentally deprived…stupid I think they call it. These kinds of guys do anything and everything for a woman’s amusement at their own expense. Why do they do it? Not even I know, but I do know it needs to stop.

Marco writes:

“So I’ve been casually dating this girl who is perhaps out of my league for a couple weeks now. By casual I mean she is upfront to me about seeing other guys (2 others) besides me. We’re not “exclusive”.
Anycase, we haven’t been physical yet…despite me wanting it badly and trying to coax her to bed nearly every night I see her. The more she resists and puts it off the more I want it. But in the meantime she has admitted to me that she has already slept with one of her other usual dates whom she has known for less than a week? How come she slept with him already and not me? She admitted to me that they have sex “a few times a week” but that he’s a “casual date” and not right for her “long term”. Am I being played by a woman? Analyze this situation for me. Would appreciate your opinion.”

Ladies and gentlemen this is a shining example of a sucker. I must say this women must be drop dead gorgeous because if any women told me she was dating two other guys and even slept with one with in 7 days of meeting them. I’d be out the door in less than 30 seconds. I mean call me old fashion or straight edge, but “dating” multiple people is probably the biggest fail anyone can achieve. I’ll rant on this in another post I promise because there are a ton of readers messing around with multiple people right now. You know who you are damn it!

Sucker Rehab

So by now you’ve probably realized that you have a problem or maybe you are in the same situation as Marco here (I pray that you are not). There are a few things that  you will have to stick to and at first it will probably be extremely difficult to do but rest assured I believe in you!

  • Realize you’re an idiot: Yes that might seem incredibly cold but until you realize that you are being a jack ass the sooner you will be on the road to recovery. Sure there might be that one time she genuinely needed help changing her tires, but jogging down to the auto zone and purchasing them is a bit much…
  • Learn to say No: I know you’ve probably watched “Yes Man” a million times and are trying to adopt the philosophy in your life but this is not one of those avenues… When addressed with a outrageous request or situation save yourself the trouble and say NO!
  • Have some standards: No standards means you are desperate and will do anything for the slightest bit of attention from a woman. Don’t be this guy. This is something you’d expect from a 12 year old hitting puberty. You’re a grown ass man, so make sure you have some standards in place to let her know you won’t jump through hoops.
  • Stop viewing women as rare occurrences: Women are everywhere! Hell they out number us in population. Try to realize that they aren’t going to mysteriously disappear if you don’t do stupid things for their enjoyment. Yes large breasts, thighs, ass and vagina are wonderful things. However it’s hardly a rare sight to behold. If it is for you the internet can take care of that in less than a second.

Now don’t think women don’t have this problem as well. They totally do but men seem to do some of the stupidest things you can imagine while in the warm caress of a woman’s attention and most women know this. So they will have their fun when and if they can at your expense. Men have  a habit of just getting in a woman’s pants when the roles are reversed, not that it excuses them from being douche bags either but at least they won’t put you ladies through some incredibly embarrassing situations.

I love women as much as the next guy. I like their company and I like to have intelligent conversations with the pretty ones. However I don’t believe I need to jump through hoops, perform tricks, or exert my manliness to get these things and if I get a hint of needing to do that with specific women I don’t waste my time and neither should you! Take this advice seriously, while I made a few jokes to lighten the mood so to speak doesn’t mean there isn’t any meaning to what I’m saying. Marco already knows the deal, and he is well on his way to being a better nice guy. Till next time guys which will be this month as I want to post a lot more because some of the stories I have to share are awesome in more ways than one.

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Nice Guys: Do Supportive Women Exist?

Hello gang, after a month long hiatus on the nice guy blue print (been really busy starting up my business) I wanted to address a serious topic that had me well.. pretty much pissed off the entire afternoon. Now we know the people in the world can be an extremely cruel but what happens when it’s the people you actually rely on most that are the problem? In today’s post I want to address a few questions asked by the countless nice guys out there that are wondering.

“Do supportive women exist and if so where are they?

In my experiences and observations I will say that there are supportive women out there. HOWEVER, there seems to be a rather large catch. As long as your goals, needs, whatever is in line with hers. She will be there. The unfortunate news however is once those goals don’t meet with her lifestyle she may leave you high and dry.

Now of course you have your famous isolated incidents like Mechelle Obama sticking by her husband through thick and thin. However you need to remember we are talking about average women. Women who don’t look at the heart, soul, and dedication you have. They want to know what you can do for them right now as opposed  to what they are willing to stick through. In many professional debates I have almost always heard the women say “I can’t wait for a guy to get his act together.” and for most men that is an instant turn off. It shows selfishness and conceit. No man wants to drop their goals and dreams for a woman who is all about them.

In fact that mentality has cause such a rift between men and women that it’s almost impossible to from a genuine relationship because you don’t really know what the woman is after until she leaves. While I believe true love and real women are out there, I don’t want to kid you guys about your chances of finding it. I’m not saying date every chick that you can, because if you did it would mean you have no idea what you want in a woman. You know what you like, be her friend first and really listen to what she says and watch what she does. It’s very easy to read an individual. Just don’t be distracted by a pretty face, shapely body and sweet demeanor.

Always be yourself, and never be afraid to disagree with a view, opinion, of belief. Not to do so is trying to force yourself to fit into another person’s life and that should happen naturally. If you do this you can easily spot a supportive woman and treat them like they deserve. As for the others…who cares?

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Nice Guys: Is Money The Real Key To A Woman’s Heart?

They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is the key to a woman’s heart through your wallet? While some women may find it offensive to assume such a thing. Most if not all men wonder at some point in time of their relationships if they object of their affection only hangs around because of a strong financial base. So today I am going to shed some light on the subject since the question keeps popping up.

The Real Deal…

Sure some women like a good looking guy, most women like a guys that take charge, but all women love a man with money. Before you get ahead of this lesson let me say that a woman’s opinion on financially stable varies depending on the type of lady you are dealing with.

For example a woman that makes twenty grand a year and dates a man whom makes between thirty or forty per year may feel she’s hit the jackpot. Others may feel that’s simply too low.

So your next question is (if you are with someone) “Does she like me because of my income.” I am gonna be blunt and say yes it does play a bigger role than you may think.

Fun Facts…

I know some of the female readers are probably scowling at my entry but I assure you I am only trying to enlighten and educate the nice guys before they end up getting themselves hurt. Now whether or not you agree, you can’t beat scientific studies. The boys over in Austria have done a clinical study on what exactly attracts a woman to a man and this is what they found.

  • Money Can Buy Love : looks, personality, and treatment mean very little to a woman as long as the man has deep pockets. This means if you are the most grotesque creature on the planet but you have money to burn. It turns you into the catch of the day. How is this possible? It’s Magic.
  • Your Car Makes You Look Good: If you own a top of the line vehicle that actually increases you chances of scoring a babe. Yes it’s totally disgusting I know, but it’s a fact.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
  • Your Salary Increases Attraction: If your salary exceeds hers, then she will stick around for the long haul. In addition women are more likely to leave a man who has unexpectedly lost hos job. Yup… like rats fleeing a rapidly sinking ship.

All in all, it comes down to your wallet guys. If your pockets aren’t deep enough, you won’t get the time of day unless you have been blatantly lying to get into her pants (Which is pretty low).

Protect Yourself…

By now you are probably wondering exactly how you can filter out the real love interests from the fake ones. While there is no fool proof way to screen potential girlfriends/wives (cause lets face it women are extremely good at lying) I do have a few tips and tricks you can start using from now on to see where her real interests lay.

  1. Don’t Speak Of It: Never speak of your financial situations whether you hit the lotto or the IRS sent you a nasty letter in the mail. Remember you want this woman to get to know you, not your wallet.
  2. Business & Pleasure Don’t Mix: Never speak about what you do, where you do it, and how much you make doing it. If she knows what you do for a living, then she knows how much you make. You don’t want that to be the reason this woman stays or goes.
  3. Keep Financial Documents Hidden: From bonds to ATM receipts. You want to keep those things away from prying eyes, and wondering hands. I myself have caught women sneaking a peek at my ATM receipts since it tells you how much cash you have in your account.
  4. Don’t Be A Wheel Man: If you are riding high, make sure you don’t become an errand boy. In my experiences a lot of women call if they don’t have a ride somewhere. Those types of women should make you sick. Make sure they know there is a lot more to you than a ride.
  5. Keep Family & Friends In The Know: If she can’t get info from you than she will go to friends or family. Inform them that they are never to discuss what you do for a living. EVER. Feel free to tell them the reason, I am sure they will quickly understand.

There you have it guys. The ugly truth that is a key to a woman’s heart, and if I may I’d like to say. If you are a guy that uses money to get with a woman it may be time to wake up and realize that you are being used for your money, your car, and your status. It would probably be easier to have a prostitute in your life, because the risks are pretty much the same in the dating world (go figure huh?). To the ladies, if this is you method of finding Mr.Right I gotta say you should probably change your approach…immediately. Till next time guys.

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Nice Guys: Dating At The Work Place

I’ve been browsing the questions a good portion of them begin with “There’s this girl I work with.” and I already know where this is going. Guys (and girls who read this) there are places that you simply don’t tread when it comes to trying to form a deep and meaningful relationship. One of those places is at work!

Most people often tend to make their place of work their main social outlet, when this happens it soon becomes a place to hook up. I am sure you have heard the old saying “Never mix business with pleasure.” Well today i am going to go over in great detail why you should stick to this motto the next time you think it might be a good idea to hook up with someone at work.

The Business End

Everyday before you go to work, you get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, take a shower, put on clothes, and dawn your business persona. Throughout your work day you go to great lengths to be as professional as humanly possible.  However there are a ton of obstacles in the work places specifically designed to break down that no nonsense mask you put on every day. Let’s go through them.

  • Social Butterflies: These men and women LOVE to chat and plan after work interactions. Technically harmless but can be an opener to the next group.
  • Gossipers: These people have nothing better to do than to talk about everyone behind their backs. They have the latest “scoops” and if you’ve been talking to the social butterflies often chances are they have a little dirt on you too.
  • Saboteurs: Don’t laugh because there are people you work with that want nothing more than seeing out out on your ass. These people usually stalk you quietly throughout the day to get as much dirt on you as possible to get you fired. They will even seek help of gossipers to do so.
  • Bosses: These guys are there to protect their investments. NOTHING MORE. These guys/girls are not your friend and probably never will be unless they are trying to get in your pants.

Bringing It All Together…

So how do these groups come into play when it comes to dating at the work place? I am so glad you asked! You see the more socially open you become the more interest you will gain with the opposite sex. From that point the gossipers start chattering about those interested in you, and will even encourage the union between you two.

This news will spread like wild fire in the span of 24 hours guaranteed. From this point the saboteurs will keep a close eye on you to see what they can use against you. Once the bosses hear about the news even they will start to watch you like a hawk, then you can expect to be called into offices, strange work duties, and other things that should be a red flag to you.

Hazards Of The Relationship.

Oh you thought I was telling you not to date at work because of your colleagues? No! That was only a warm up my friend, the real reasons start here!

  • Constant Interaction: Let’s face it too much interaction in today’s society is actually a bad thing. People get bored, feel trapped, etc. On top of that you’re at work! Why put up with the hassle?
  • Everyone Knows: Not only does everyone know you date, but if things go bad they now know about those really private things you haven’t told anyone.
  • Women Cheat: Yes yes I know what you are gonna say men cheat too, but it’s a statistical fact women cheat with co workers. I know from experience as well. Now you have to deal with a cheating partner, a douche-bag co worker, and the normal grind of your job. FUN FUN!
  • Distractions: A partner at the work place is a HUGE distraction, you don’t perform at your best, and people are watching even when you think they are not.
  • Ta Da! You’re Unemployed: Conflicts, lack of performance, and distractions screws with everyone’s money. Yours, your partners, and your boss’s. The only remedy to this issue to fire certain individuals. Namely you. Women are usually warned, but guys are normally fired outright(Yes that is a statistical fact).

Finishing Up

There you have it, these are just some of the major hazards when dealing with love at the work place. Nine of out ten it simply is not worth the effort or the time. In addition you could end up losing a lot more than just a failed relationship, you will be losing money and employment if you are not careful.

Keep a professional demeanor at work, if the ladies take notice that’s all fine and dandy but make sure it does not go anywhere. No relationship, casual sex, or prolonged conversations. It is simply not worth it.

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Nice Guys: True Love Fact or Myth?

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I knew this post was going to come one day, actually it was pretty much a guarantee when I decided to put this blog together. Yesterday I came across a few different questions when it came to true love. Some asked if others actively seek true love, others asked if it’s just a fairy tale, and the rest asked if they will ever find it.

While I have my own personal views on love and true love. I won’t pretend that I haven’t had my run ins with this elusive thing. What I hope to accomplish with this post is simply enlightenment for all of you who happen across this post. This post is for the pessimist, the optimist, the cynics, and the skeptics.

What Is True Love?

True love has been defined in many different forms both negatively and positively. For some it’s been defined as the greatest gift  God has ever given the human race. For others it’s been known as one of the worst things you can experience in your life time. So which is it? Good or Bad? Truth is it can be both but never at the same time. Confused? Get yourself a drink and a snack it’s story time.

“You can only know you truly love someone when your love takes you far beyond yourself.” – Jenina Venerayan

Let me kill the so called myth by saying true love does actually exist and it is unquestionably the hardest thing I have ever had to describe. The feeling is nothing short of pure rapture.  I have never actually been high before but I imagine that what I felt was about a million times better than any feeling  synthetic drugs can create.

It’s effects on you are nothing short of life changing. Things that seemed impossible are now easily attainable, things that you hated, people you couldn’t stand no longer plague your mind. Bad news you receive seems trivial at best and worse news is tolerable. I even will go as so far to say to feel true love removes all of your inhibitors both mental and physical. It’s perfection.

A few years ago, a friend of mine had fallen in love with a man she and I worked with. Mind you I’ve known this women for the better half of 3 years, she was a hardcore pessimist. Even if things where going her way, she expected the worst to happen at all times. Once true love entered her veins everything about her changed. She became a super version of the women I used to know, her pessimism had vanished, she was upbeat, her appearance was unearthly literally. The woman practically glowed. It was an amazing sight to behold.

This was no different when it happened to myself. I was a big skeptic, I didn’t believe until I saw (I’m a New Yorker what can I say) and when I felt it. Things changed in me in an instant. Goals where being accomplished, my health improved, life was incredible. No other woman existed for me and no other man existed for my friend.

Unfortunately Everything Has A Dark Side…

As wonderful a feeling true love can and should always be. It can be one of the most painful experiences as well. The feeling is a bit more explainable, but still escapes a real definition.

“True love is like a teardrop in a rainstorm; you’re lucky enough to find it once, but you will never find it again.” -William Louie

Again the effects are life changing, just not in a very positive way. Some times I see others going through small and petty break ups and I can’t help but think what will happen to them when and if they find something they truly won’t be able to live without.

When true love isn’t in tune or reciprocated that incomplete feeling you get is pretty maddening. In fact it will drive you slightly insane and there really isn’t much you can do about it. It’s the reason people say “Love makes you do crazy things.”

Remember that friend of mine earlier that was practically glowing when the true love bug bit? Regretfully the feelings weren’t mutual and that is when things really fell apart for her. Her old ways where back but they seemed to be magnified beyond belief and she also adopted a very apathetic persona mainly to cope with her loss but I could tell it wasn’t working.

I was no different, except I didn’t kid myself when it came to how I felt. While I was apathetic to everything I never lied to myself by saying I no longer cared about who I am in love it. For her it was a very big denial thing while for me it was just a long period of mourning. What we both soon realized was that there was never any real coping to our loss but more of an eventual numbness that finally took hold years after.

While I can’t speak on her behalf I can tell you personally that there won’t be another experience like this one again. In my experience there are just some things you can’t replicate and that feeling of true love is on the top of the list.

In The End.

True love does indeed exist and I can’t really say many people actively seek it per say. It finds you. Usually at the most in opportune time of your life, and if you aren’t careful it can be excruciatingly painful. While I can’t tell you how to really guard yourself from it, I can only tell you what to expect.

It’s a feeling that has a wide array of outcomes. Some have killed in it’s name, others have even died due to lack of it(Yes you can die due to a broken heart), but very few are able to keep it in their lives. If you do happen to attain it at some point, make sure you do everything you can to keep it.

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