Category Archives: sex

5 Unbelievable Facts Men Should Know About Valentines Day

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It’s that time of the year again nice guys. Valentine’s Day is a few days away and well over 60% of us (assuming you are in the US) will be celebrating it. Chances are if you have a girl you fancy then you have already planned the day out, but is this holiday really all about love and romance? The five major facts discussed in today’s post may have you second guessing why you celebrate of this historical day.

Men Spend Upwards of $150 Or More On Their Dates.

When it comes to spending, the average man will spend over $150 in meals, gifts, and entertainment on the object of their affection. Unfortunately for this is also about a weeks worth of pay for the common male. A lot of women would argue “What’s wrong with having a day where a man pays for dinner and gifts?” The problem is this is a daily occurrence for all men that are currently involved or looking to be involved with a woman in which they are attracted.

Can you imagine spending $80 to $200 dollars on dinner and gifts for a lousy “thank you”? Millions of guys have this experienced situation and continue to every year. Why? Simply because men feel obligated to do so on Valentines day other wise they are seen as cheap or unappreciative of women.

Women Not Only Want More But Expect More.

The average woman not only prefer but expects a gift after being treated to a nice dinner. If any of you guys reading this thought an expensive dinner was enough, think again!  Since we are in a society that coddles females, it’s only natural that women start to become self absorbed and feel entitled to the spoils of your labor.

Men Spend Double Than Women

On average women spend $70 dollars in gifts on valentines day. While it’s nice to have a woman spend their money on the man in their life, it’s a simple drop in the hat compared to male spending. Women expect their men to go big on this “day of love” however most women won’t reciprocate the generous gesture. Most women think that the promise of sex is their way of going big for their men, I’m here to tell you that is a stupid argument. If you have a dead bedroom, scheduled sex, or occasional sex then your relationship is in serious trouble and your woman is a live in prostitute. She’s exchanging material wealth for sex and you are a sap for falling for it.

Women Often Trade Partners On V-Day

Studies show 53% of women in the US would leave their boyfriends/husbands if they received a cheap or no gift for Valentines Day. Yes the majority of women are so vain that they can toss a relationship out the window over a simple gift. The unfortunate truth is this is common behavior, and most men can’t seem to wrap their heads around a woman who can easily cut ties with them and never look back. It’s very important for men to realize just how shallow the opposite sex can be.

Only 27% Of Women Actively Participate On V-Day

Remember when I said women will spend roughly $70 bucks on Valentines Day? Well 15% of those women spend it on themselves. Yes women will by roses, chocolates, and other nice things but over half of them are buying it for themselves. That means only 12% of women actually do anything for their partners on this day of “Love”. Again sex is not a gift or a treat and if that is how it’s being used in your relationship it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.

You might be asking yourself just how did this holiday which is suppose to be about love and romance turn into a glorified cash grab. Well there are many reasons, but the most prevalent is that men in general allow and tolerate it. If you find yourself more obligated to buy gifts rather than genuinely wanting to then you are celebrating this holiday the wrong way. Valentines day is a day when it is traditional to send a card, often anonymously, to a person one is romantically involved with or attracted to. Now it’s become nothing but a shameless money grab for companies and a mini Christmas for women and the men seem to be the big suckers in the equation.

Whether you’ve made plans or are debating doing something for that special someone make sure she’s worth the time and effort. It can be hard to tell but you can start by reading No More Mr.Nice Guy and going from there. I guarantee it will be an enlightening read.

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The Adverse Effects Of Hypergamy & A Feminized Society

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In last weeks post we gave guys a road map to follow when it comes to women and their mate selection process. While it was helpful to a lot of guys out there it has still gotten a number of questions from men and even a complaint or two from women. As promised in this weeks post we will be discussing the effects that hypergamy and feminism have on modern men. In addition I’ll be covering the questions and comments I have received concerning last week’s post at a later date but let’s go ahead and go over exactly what men have to face in modern society.

The Plight Of The Modern Male

So what kinds of problems are men facing today and how exactly does hypergamy play a major role? For starters we are living in an era where being a male is extremely difficult. From birth boys are under constant scrutiny by a feminized education system, raised emasculated and trained to be subservient to the opposite sex. Only to take on what I consider social abnormalities that are literally derailing healthy male development.

  • Social Awkwardness: We learn the ability to speak and socialize in early Childhood. However our young boys are being medicated and told to be quiet
  • Female Worship: This is something that 95% of the male population suffers with. Again being taught from a young age to always be nice to girls, buy them nice gifts, and always say nice things to them. Men often take this advice to the highest degree.
  • Low Self Worth: Men being raised to shun their natural masculine instincts often sacrifice themselves and their resources. In doing so they somehow become “heroes” in the eyes of society.
  • Androgyny: In the ongoing quest to impress women a lot of guys have turned to appearing more feminine in order to attract Mrs. Right. Yes men heard that women don’t like big muscles, macho attitudes, and beards. So they broke out the skinny jeans, hair dye, and fedoras…

The problems don’t end their unfortunately, after schooling young men still need to deal with the ever growing oppression of the feminist society in which they live. Men constantly need to walk on eggshells, beg and grovel when dealing with women and it’s not getting any easier. Let’s take a look at some of the very real issues young men have to deal with in today’s society.

  • The Potential Predator: Today men have earned the stigma that they are a potential predator to women and children. Children have gone from “Don’t talk to strangers.” to “Don’t talk to strange men.”
  • Demonized Male Sexuality: Normal heterosexual male behavior is often considered to be unacceptable if it is publicly observed. Gone are the days of saying hello to a woman on the street without being labeled a pervert.
  • Guilty Until Proven Otherwise: Today’s justice system more often than not considers all males accused of a crime guilty until proven innocent. This is especially true if these crimes are committed against the opposite sex.
  • The Worst Gender: Men are considered to be dumb, lazy, and incapable. This can be observed in all forms of media from television to movies. A frighteningly large number of men have embraced the role of the “bumbling idiot” do to society’s constant influence.

Believe me the list doesn’t stop here, it’s just that I like to point out the issues that stand out to me the most.

The Adverse Effects

By themselves they are aggravating but when combined they become a series of unfortunate events that lead to a wide scale social breakdown. Again I could list a million things that hypergamy and feminism has done but for the sake of not losing our minds I will list the top four effects.

  • Mass Male Withdrawal: Men are officially calling it quits when it comes to women in general. From the Grass Eaters, MGTOW, to The Red Pill. Men everywhere are slowly realizing that they don’t have to deal with feminist bullshit(Pardon my french).
  • Marriage is on the decline: For men marriage is a death sentence, and more guys are starting to denounce marriage and in most cases relationships. Why buy the cow hen the milk is free right?
  • Women are not accountable: Women are raised to believe the world is all about them and anything they do or say is right. Along with this society is always their to save the damsel in distress whether it be government assistance or the men obligated to do so.
  • There are no good men: For women who are getting older there is a large shortage of available men to start a life with. Men are no longer settling for the woman who have been promiscuous in their youth and this fact is driving a lot of women mad.

If things keep progressing the way they are feminized societies are going to end up causing some serious social declines in the near future. The irony is that women will be the ones that will suffer the most in the end.

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Nice Guys : The Rape Culture Hype & Your Role In It

 

Alright nice guys this is a bit of a rant/educational/guide post here. I’m a little pissed off here and I want to go ahead and take the time before I begin my rant to address to my readers that they might see some strong language. Having said that let’s go ahead and get this show on the road.

The History Lesson:

Rape culture isn’t something new and if you’re the type of individual that tends to live your life instead of living in the media world chances are you’ve never heard of it until recently. In short rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to a culture of society that normalizes, condones , tolerates and excuses rape. This concept has been around since the 1970’s and is often used by feminists to describe the American culture as a whole.

My Problem With This:

In wake of the Isla Vista incident activists decided this would be a great tool in which to teach individuals about the “War on Women” (Yes i put it in quotes because I feel it’s bullshit). This unfortunate incident sparked the #YesAllWomen twitter campaign, a slew of women’s rights articles, etc. Now this was all well and good until I somehow became part of the rape culture problem, oh and you (providing you have a penis) are part of the problem as well! Allow me to explain.

A couple of days ago I came across an article on the Huffington Post titled : A Gentleman’s Guide To Rape Culture and what I read was basically an insult to any self respecting individual with a penis. Now the author explains that all men perpetuates rape culture. How is this possible? Well it’s because you have a penis, that one point alone puts you in the pool with the sick and demented bastards out there that actually pray on people. Screw the fact that you haven’t ever touched anyone let alone a woman in a sexual way without their consent. Hell the fact you have no past history of sexual violence or even a police record still doesn’t excuse you from playing a vital role in rape culture.

The author proceeds to explain that as a man he has the freedom to go anywhere he wants without the worry of being attacked and women feel the opposite. Last time I checked women had the freedom to rape children, claim a man’s assets, and physically assault a man without paying any serious consequences, but I digress. Then he recommends that men use clear body language and act in a way to minimize her fear of being attacked. Yes you need to move and act in a certain way so that any woman you happen to pass doesn’t feel threatened. Oh…my…God. Can I buy whatever drugs this guy is on? This is feminist brainwashing at it’s best but my problem with this doesn’t end here.

Earlier I mentioned the Isla Vista incident and it sparking activist actions like #YesAllWomen and other media. The problem with this is that the foundation of all this action is based on misinformation! Now those attacks took the lives of 4 men, 2 women and the killer as well. Nobody wins in that situation but it’s been turned into some sort of attack against women specifically. I’m not excusing Elliot Rodger’s behavior but the fact is this guy was physically, mentally & emotionally abused by his peers, there is video and documentation proving these facts. However the news and the media focused on his hang ups with women. Anyone else remember the news bringing up the 4 guys that where killed during this whole thing? Yeah me either…

So what happens is activists start speaking about how this is a war against women and that American culture is a rape culture. We went from a violent crime against both genders to a war against women to America being a society that advocates rape. What!? Hell we had Miss USA bring up a brilliant idea of learning self defense to address college rape and she was considered an idiot. Far be it from all these women who are scared shitless of being raped to have the tools to prevent it. How dare she. “Men should just not rape” I shit you not, that is an actual response.

A Real Guide To Rape Culture For Men:

You guys want to know what you should do with all this crap about rape culture? Here are my top recommendations:

  1. Don’t buy into media hype or get involved with social media bullshit. Not only is it riddled with false information it has a habit of brainwashing you into believing that somehow you (as a man) are the problem. If you take an interest in a story on social media look into the facts yourself! I still find it amazing that Elliot Rodger’s rampage is being passed off as War On Women. Get the facts straight people.
  2. Don’t apologize for being a man. You were born with a penis, congratulations! Don’t ever consider it some kind of badge of shame. Yes there are bad men out there but you know what there are diabolical women out here as well.
  3. Don’t Take Responsibility for another person’s hangups. You know everyone is scared of something, it’s part of being human. As a man I can definitely tell you  in the back of my mind I’m afraid of being wrongfully attacked by the police, but it would be stupid of me to tell all cops to approach me with their hands raised. If you are so scared of something to the effect of being socially paralyzed then you need professional help. Take the steps to get over it.
  4. Remember we live in a feminine society. Although equality is the theme any man knows good and well women have the advantage. It’s a sad day when it comes down to men having to video tape themselves being attacked by women so they can avoid going to jail.
  5. Just say no to drugs & a large portion of alcohol. 57% of rapes apparently happen on dates and75% of men & 55% of women were drinking or taking drugs before the attack. Understand what I’m saying? Good. Ease off the booze, LSD, weed, whatever the hell you kids are taking these days. Also It’s OK to say no to women who may throw themselves at you in a drunken or drug filled stupor. I’ve done it more times and I can tell you I don’t regret any of those choices because chances are it probably kept me out of jail.
  6. Violence Against Anyone Is Wrong. Let’s take a moment here and realize violence against any human being is wrong. Men, women, & children are at risk of being attacked in some way. No one is immune! Let’s get rid of the notion that some how women are the only ones that have targets painted on their backs.

Alright people that’s my rant for today until next time be safe, keep your wits about you, and keep your guard up! As always feel free to comment, rate, like, share, & spread the word! This is definitely one of the most important topics for men of all ages to discuss. Thanks for reading.

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Nice Guys: How (NOT) To Be A Sucker

Happy New Year gang it’s been over a month without any of my witty rants or words of wisdom. So today I figured I’d drop in to let you guys in on something that can ultimately lead to less hassles with the opposite sex. That something is how to refrain from being tagged as a sucker. Now some of you may know exactly what I am talking about and that’s awesome but for the remainder of you that are wondering what exactly constitutes the sucker label I will go into a bit of detail just for you.

What is a sucker?

To be blunt it’s a person that is extremely gullible beyond belief. In fact said person is so easily duped that it may seem like he is mentally deprived…stupid I think they call it. These kinds of guys do anything and everything for a woman’s amusement at their own expense. Why do they do it? Not even I know, but I do know it needs to stop.

Marco writes:

“So I’ve been casually dating this girl who is perhaps out of my league for a couple weeks now. By casual I mean she is upfront to me about seeing other guys (2 others) besides me. We’re not “exclusive”.
Anycase, we haven’t been physical yet…despite me wanting it badly and trying to coax her to bed nearly every night I see her. The more she resists and puts it off the more I want it. But in the meantime she has admitted to me that she has already slept with one of her other usual dates whom she has known for less than a week? How come she slept with him already and not me? She admitted to me that they have sex “a few times a week” but that he’s a “casual date” and not right for her “long term”. Am I being played by a woman? Analyze this situation for me. Would appreciate your opinion.”

Ladies and gentlemen this is a shining example of a sucker. I must say this women must be drop dead gorgeous because if any women told me she was dating two other guys and even slept with one with in 7 days of meeting them. I’d be out the door in less than 30 seconds. I mean call me old fashion or straight edge, but “dating” multiple people is probably the biggest fail anyone can achieve. I’ll rant on this in another post I promise because there are a ton of readers messing around with multiple people right now. You know who you are damn it!

Sucker Rehab

So by now you’ve probably realized that you have a problem or maybe you are in the same situation as Marco here (I pray that you are not). There are a few things that  you will have to stick to and at first it will probably be extremely difficult to do but rest assured I believe in you!

  • Realize you’re an idiot: Yes that might seem incredibly cold but until you realize that you are being a jack ass the sooner you will be on the road to recovery. Sure there might be that one time she genuinely needed help changing her tires, but jogging down to the auto zone and purchasing them is a bit much…
  • Learn to say No: I know you’ve probably watched “Yes Man” a million times and are trying to adopt the philosophy in your life but this is not one of those avenues… When addressed with a outrageous request or situation save yourself the trouble and say NO!
  • Have some standards: No standards means you are desperate and will do anything for the slightest bit of attention from a woman. Don’t be this guy. This is something you’d expect from a 12 year old hitting puberty. You’re a grown ass man, so make sure you have some standards in place to let her know you won’t jump through hoops.
  • Stop viewing women as rare occurrences: Women are everywhere! Hell they out number us in population. Try to realize that they aren’t going to mysteriously disappear if you don’t do stupid things for their enjoyment. Yes large breasts, thighs, ass and vagina are wonderful things. However it’s hardly a rare sight to behold. If it is for you the internet can take care of that in less than a second.

Now don’t think women don’t have this problem as well. They totally do but men seem to do some of the stupidest things you can imagine while in the warm caress of a woman’s attention and most women know this. So they will have their fun when and if they can at your expense. Men have  a habit of just getting in a woman’s pants when the roles are reversed, not that it excuses them from being douche bags either but at least they won’t put you ladies through some incredibly embarrassing situations.

I love women as much as the next guy. I like their company and I like to have intelligent conversations with the pretty ones. However I don’t believe I need to jump through hoops, perform tricks, or exert my manliness to get these things and if I get a hint of needing to do that with specific women I don’t waste my time and neither should you! Take this advice seriously, while I made a few jokes to lighten the mood so to speak doesn’t mean there isn’t any meaning to what I’m saying. Marco already knows the deal, and he is well on his way to being a better nice guy. Till next time guys which will be this month as I want to post a lot more because some of the stories I have to share are awesome in more ways than one.

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Nice Guys: Are You A Loser?

Hello everyone and welcome to November! I know it’s the last day of the month, but  give me a bit of a break here. I’ve been dealing with category 5 hurricanes, Thanks Giving with family, and life in general. Speaking of life in general I wanted to go ahead and discuss a very important topic. That topic is that question all of us ask our selves at some point in time.

“Am I a loser?

I’ve been reading the stories (way too many of them) and it makes me feel terrible that so many people are struggling with this question. Normally I have on that really sticks out in my mind but there are literally a handful that just make me wonder where these people are going to end up. Just know that if you feel like you are a loser this post is dedicated to you and your struggle and I hope it helps you in some kind of way.

Answering The Question

It’s never an easy question to answer, in fact it’s down right impossible because there is a part of you that is beyond bias and hates your guts. You see these kinds of questions pop up in one of two scenarios, bullying or self loathing. Neither of which are better than the other as they both lead to depression, isolation, apathy, and even suicide. The scenarios are tough to get through, and even tougher to identify and take action against. Are you being bullied or do you just hate yourself that much? Can it possibly be both?

Bullying:

Bullying has evolved over the past century from simple teasing at the play ground between children to indirect comments between adults. While children can be cruel, I’m afraid adults can be a bit more callous and cold especially in the kind of world we live in today. It’s not all rainbows and cupcakes out here. As an adult, boy friend, husband, etc so much is expected of us that when we don’t deliver we are deemed useless. The stigma of being a “nice guy” or “the 30 year old in their parent’s basement” all of these things can drive a person in these categories insane.

I think what people fail to realize is that we aren’t all given the same chances, even if we want to believe that it’s true. If you feel that everyone one has the same chance to be something go to a third world country and tell that starving kid to grow his or her own food,  go tell that homeless man on the street to get a job even though he is missing a leg, tell that guy in his parent’s basement to be somebody when he is trying is damnedest not to live a mediocre life.

It’s easy to tell others where their faults are, and what they should do. Until you step foot into their shoes. You can’t tell someone that is suffering that they will be fine until you go through that same pain. If you are one of those people that often make those comments, you should think about what you are saying and who you are effecting by saying it.

Self Loathing:

At some time or another I am sure we have all been hard on ourselves because of something. For some people it’s a bit more extreme then a simple internal berating. I personally still struggle with it because I am one of those guys that can’t stand to lose or get the short end of the stick. I used to always get down on myself about how I should of been faster, stronger, smarter, what ever. For a time I used to think that method pushed people to improve but in reality it can do just the opposite.

When you are always on the losing end and you get angry at yourself. You are more likely to flat out quit or develop a apathetic outlook on whatever new projects you undertake. This goes for relationships as well. Men and women alike who where always on the receiving end of a bad break up usually if not always have a very poor outlook on the next relationship and don’t put in what they should so they don’t get hurt. It’s a difficult thing to fix, but the first step always start with forgiving yourself in some way.

I feel this post was kind of all over the place (all the stories I read I wanted to address), but I was able to get out what I wanted to. To answer your questions about whether or not you are a loser, my answer is definitely not. Do your best to change what you don’t like, even if it feels hopeless. Take time away if you need to refresh your battery and get back to it. Never quit.

 

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Nice Guys: Is Money The Real Key To A Woman’s Heart?

They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is the key to a woman’s heart through your wallet? While some women may find it offensive to assume such a thing. Most if not all men wonder at some point in time of their relationships if they object of their affection only hangs around because of a strong financial base. So today I am going to shed some light on the subject since the question keeps popping up.

The Real Deal…

Sure some women like a good looking guy, most women like a guys that take charge, but all women love a man with money. Before you get ahead of this lesson let me say that a woman’s opinion on financially stable varies depending on the type of lady you are dealing with.

For example a woman that makes twenty grand a year and dates a man whom makes between thirty or forty per year may feel she’s hit the jackpot. Others may feel that’s simply too low.

So your next question is (if you are with someone) “Does she like me because of my income.” I am gonna be blunt and say yes it does play a bigger role than you may think.

Fun Facts…

I know some of the female readers are probably scowling at my entry but I assure you I am only trying to enlighten and educate the nice guys before they end up getting themselves hurt. Now whether or not you agree, you can’t beat scientific studies. The boys over in Austria have done a clinical study on what exactly attracts a woman to a man and this is what they found.

  • Money Can Buy Love : looks, personality, and treatment mean very little to a woman as long as the man has deep pockets. This means if you are the most grotesque creature on the planet but you have money to burn. It turns you into the catch of the day. How is this possible? It’s Magic.
  • Your Car Makes You Look Good: If you own a top of the line vehicle that actually increases you chances of scoring a babe. Yes it’s totally disgusting I know, but it’s a fact.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
  • Your Salary Increases Attraction: If your salary exceeds hers, then she will stick around for the long haul. In addition women are more likely to leave a man who has unexpectedly lost hos job. Yup… like rats fleeing a rapidly sinking ship.

All in all, it comes down to your wallet guys. If your pockets aren’t deep enough, you won’t get the time of day unless you have been blatantly lying to get into her pants (Which is pretty low).

Protect Yourself…

By now you are probably wondering exactly how you can filter out the real love interests from the fake ones. While there is no fool proof way to screen potential girlfriends/wives (cause lets face it women are extremely good at lying) I do have a few tips and tricks you can start using from now on to see where her real interests lay.

  1. Don’t Speak Of It: Never speak of your financial situations whether you hit the lotto or the IRS sent you a nasty letter in the mail. Remember you want this woman to get to know you, not your wallet.
  2. Business & Pleasure Don’t Mix: Never speak about what you do, where you do it, and how much you make doing it. If she knows what you do for a living, then she knows how much you make. You don’t want that to be the reason this woman stays or goes.
  3. Keep Financial Documents Hidden: From bonds to ATM receipts. You want to keep those things away from prying eyes, and wondering hands. I myself have caught women sneaking a peek at my ATM receipts since it tells you how much cash you have in your account.
  4. Don’t Be A Wheel Man: If you are riding high, make sure you don’t become an errand boy. In my experiences a lot of women call if they don’t have a ride somewhere. Those types of women should make you sick. Make sure they know there is a lot more to you than a ride.
  5. Keep Family & Friends In The Know: If she can’t get info from you than she will go to friends or family. Inform them that they are never to discuss what you do for a living. EVER. Feel free to tell them the reason, I am sure they will quickly understand.

There you have it guys. The ugly truth that is a key to a woman’s heart, and if I may I’d like to say. If you are a guy that uses money to get with a woman it may be time to wake up and realize that you are being used for your money, your car, and your status. It would probably be easier to have a prostitute in your life, because the risks are pretty much the same in the dating world (go figure huh?). To the ladies, if this is you method of finding Mr.Right I gotta say you should probably change your approach…immediately. Till next time guys.

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Nice Guys: Dating At The Work Place

I’ve been browsing the questions a good portion of them begin with “There’s this girl I work with.” and I already know where this is going. Guys (and girls who read this) there are places that you simply don’t tread when it comes to trying to form a deep and meaningful relationship. One of those places is at work!

Most people often tend to make their place of work their main social outlet, when this happens it soon becomes a place to hook up. I am sure you have heard the old saying “Never mix business with pleasure.” Well today i am going to go over in great detail why you should stick to this motto the next time you think it might be a good idea to hook up with someone at work.

The Business End

Everyday before you go to work, you get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, take a shower, put on clothes, and dawn your business persona. Throughout your work day you go to great lengths to be as professional as humanly possible.  However there are a ton of obstacles in the work places specifically designed to break down that no nonsense mask you put on every day. Let’s go through them.

  • Social Butterflies: These men and women LOVE to chat and plan after work interactions. Technically harmless but can be an opener to the next group.
  • Gossipers: These people have nothing better to do than to talk about everyone behind their backs. They have the latest “scoops” and if you’ve been talking to the social butterflies often chances are they have a little dirt on you too.
  • Saboteurs: Don’t laugh because there are people you work with that want nothing more than seeing out out on your ass. These people usually stalk you quietly throughout the day to get as much dirt on you as possible to get you fired. They will even seek help of gossipers to do so.
  • Bosses: These guys are there to protect their investments. NOTHING MORE. These guys/girls are not your friend and probably never will be unless they are trying to get in your pants.

Bringing It All Together…

So how do these groups come into play when it comes to dating at the work place? I am so glad you asked! You see the more socially open you become the more interest you will gain with the opposite sex. From that point the gossipers start chattering about those interested in you, and will even encourage the union between you two.

This news will spread like wild fire in the span of 24 hours guaranteed. From this point the saboteurs will keep a close eye on you to see what they can use against you. Once the bosses hear about the news even they will start to watch you like a hawk, then you can expect to be called into offices, strange work duties, and other things that should be a red flag to you.

Hazards Of The Relationship.

Oh you thought I was telling you not to date at work because of your colleagues? No! That was only a warm up my friend, the real reasons start here!

  • Constant Interaction: Let’s face it too much interaction in today’s society is actually a bad thing. People get bored, feel trapped, etc. On top of that you’re at work! Why put up with the hassle?
  • Everyone Knows: Not only does everyone know you date, but if things go bad they now know about those really private things you haven’t told anyone.
  • Women Cheat: Yes yes I know what you are gonna say men cheat too, but it’s a statistical fact women cheat with co workers. I know from experience as well. Now you have to deal with a cheating partner, a douche-bag co worker, and the normal grind of your job. FUN FUN!
  • Distractions: A partner at the work place is a HUGE distraction, you don’t perform at your best, and people are watching even when you think they are not.
  • Ta Da! You’re Unemployed: Conflicts, lack of performance, and distractions screws with everyone’s money. Yours, your partners, and your boss’s. The only remedy to this issue to fire certain individuals. Namely you. Women are usually warned, but guys are normally fired outright(Yes that is a statistical fact).

Finishing Up

There you have it, these are just some of the major hazards when dealing with love at the work place. Nine of out ten it simply is not worth the effort or the time. In addition you could end up losing a lot more than just a failed relationship, you will be losing money and employment if you are not careful.

Keep a professional demeanor at work, if the ladies take notice that’s all fine and dandy but make sure it does not go anywhere. No relationship, casual sex, or prolonged conversations. It is simply not worth it.

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Nice Guys: The Dark Side Of Relationships

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For the past couple of days since my last post I have been reading through literally hundreds of questions asking “Why can’t I get a girlfriend/boyfriend”. While I know some of the reading base is 25yrs and older but the majority is younger. These questions have really inspired me to share the darker aspects of a relationship. This post isn’t designed to dash your hopes and dreams of finding a fulfilling relationship(It is possible) but to bring you back down to earth on your expectations. I would like to further state that I think relationships (that actually work) are one of life’s real joys. Nothing really beats having a partner that is genuinely there for your total enjoyment and vice versa.

It Poisons The Mind

Relationships can really bring havoc and turmoil to a person’s mind. When a relationship ends, pain is usually associated with it. As a human being, your brain keeps those painful memories so that you don’t make the same mistake again. So with each new relationship you bring a bigger err of caution, apathy, coolness. You become desensitized to your feelings and others as well.

Unfortunately there is no “true” remedy for this because no method of coping with a break up is actually healthy. Those that jump from relationship to relationship end up hurting others and themselves, while those that take time to themselves build up emotional barriers designed specifically to keep people at a distance. It’s a lose/lose situation on all fronts.

Regrets Are Forever

Regret is an ugly stain on your mind. It’s often something that you will live with the rest of your life and nothing screams regret more than that relationship you wish you did not have. Contrary to popular belief anyone who says “They regret nothing” are a bunch of liars. How do I know? Because everyone has that closet where they hide their deepest darkest secrets. Secrets are built on pleasure, pain, rejoice, and regret. If you have a secret than you have a regret.

It Can End At Any Time

It could last a few week or it could last a few years, but the point is they won’t last forever. I’ve often heard the saying “Live for today” when it comes to relationships. However the point of a relationship is to have someone that has been, is, and will be there for you. To live only for today is to care less about your future. So applying that saying to your relationship means your relationship has no future as well.

It’s Not Love

I know I am probably going to get a lot of slack for this, but bring it on. I don’t believe in people “falling out of love”. In fact I think it’s a crock of shit people say when they don’t take the time to really ascertain their feelings toward someone. You have to think about your true feelings, then on top of that wonder about the other persons, it’s not exactly my idea of a fun time.

Now Serving #365?

Ever wonder just what number in the pecking order you are? Ever think about how many people the object of your affection has pleasured? It’s actually pretty scary when you think about it because most are so ashamed that they will lie about it. Some people say “It’s not important” but the fact is no one wants to be with someone who has been around the block so many times that it would make your head spin.

No One Is Immune

Cheating is fairly common today, and it can happen in so many ways. Sometimes it’s subtle other times it’s pretty blatant but the point is you will always have to worry about it. You see everyone has a limit to all things and cheating is one of them. If you have a high threshold it just means you are able to move yourself away from the temptation long for those urges to pass. Those that don’t…well you know what happens. The real question is if the person you are hooking up with has a decent limit. Most don’t.

In the end you really have to ask yourself if a meaningful relationship is really what you and the other person are after. In addition even though you may want one it doesn’t mean the object of your affection wants to. If it seems like they don’t try not to force a relationship in the hopes that they will magically change their minds. If you are single enjoy the lack of stress and the freedom.

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Nice Guys : Is It Better To Have A Friend With Benefits?

Stemming from my last post about sex, I wanted to address something every nice guy considers as a “lesser of two evils” when it comes to sex. That lesser evil is called many things like Fuck Buddies, Special Buddy System, etc however for simplicity I will call it Friends With Benefits (F.W.B for short). When it comes to F.W.B I can’t say I have experienced it but on multiple occasions the offer has come up as well as my view on it changing dramatically.

 When I was first introduced to the term I was in my senior year of high school months away from graduation. I was out with friends one whom of which was in college at the time. She had decided to introduce me to a classmate of hers, as expected of my social circle the young lady was charming and well spoken. At the end of our day she had received a phone call, it was extremely brief. She mentioned a time and place and promptly hung up. I was a bit of a curious kid so I said

“That was a short call, everything alright?”

She smiled and said “That’s my…FF.”

I gave her one of my patented -I don’t get it looks- To which she elaborated “Friends with benefits”. I asked her what the term meant exactly (yes I know I was a very naive teenager) and she was completely shocked that I had no idea what she was talking about. She put it as blunt as humanly possible.

“We get together and fuck…nothing more and nothing less. Just sex.”

 I was a little taken back by her definition but I showed that I understood completely by nodding and looking at the ground pretty quickly. I remembered trying to run the workings of such a relationship in my mind but simply could not wrap my head around the idea at the time. Two friends just using each other for sex didn’t just seemed immoral but it seems just flat out wrong. I guess my silence tipped her off and she said

“Don’t knock it till you try it…”

 I pretty much knocked it out right. I couldn’t imagine myself doing such a seemingly horrible thing to someone especially if I called them a friend. As time went on my views on F.W.B began to change, a steadily increasing number of friends began participating. At first I was a bit disappointed in all of them but I stepped outside of my own self righteousness just long enough to see why they where doing it. The one thing everyone had in common was that they were all hurt very badly on the relationship battlefield. Of course I didn’t see their point of view fully until I went through that exact same pain, no doubt that you too have experienced it and if you have I am very sad and sorry to know you’ve gone through something that has undoubtedly changed you’re life.

 My friends gave up on true love, they put their hearts and souls into the one they really wanted and it turned out wrong for them. The F.W.B option was the best way out of a sexually dormant life and I can’t really blame them after everything I’ve experienced with normal relationships first hand. It’s not a matter of giving up or even having an apathetic outlook on you’re love life. It’s a realization you get when you just know that you will not love someone to the fullest, or maybe because you will always have that wariness towards future partners, or even you simply just don’t have the will to try again.

So Is It Alright To Have Friends With Benefits?

In all honesty it’s still a choice I have yet to make. While I gladly admit that it is a sound solution for those that have had enough heart ache for a lifetime, I also can’t help but to think it’s still wrong on some levels. I’ll explain the best I can:

The Pro’s :

  1. Expectations: Both people know exactly what to expect. This leaves absolutely no room to be disappointed. There is no need to feel like you constantly need to be “new” “exciting” or “fresh” which is a great feeling on it’s own.
  2. Friendship: Having a real friendship means that you two can really be at ease with each other. You can go out have a good time, go home and have an even better time if you so choose. There is no pressure, awkwardness, etc.
  3. It’s Always There: True friends will always be there for you no matter what happens in your life. Just as you would be for your friends, there will never bee a period of “no communication” like the ones you’ve no undoubtedly experienced when you where in a relationship.
  4. No Break Ups: Imagine that! Never having to break up or be broken up with ever again. This one point alone was something that really makes me struggle with the subject. The feeling I get when I think about it is a like the feeling you would get if you never had to worry about money, food, etc.
  5. Something Can Grow: I’ve always believed true love grows from true friendship. If you can have a friendship with this level of closeness love can grow and turn into a truly wonderful thing.
  6. Pure Trust: Your real friends wouldn’t do a damn thing to hurt you in any way and the same thing should be said about you. High levels of trust allow you both to be as sexually free as you want, you can both try  and experience new things you probably wouldn’t even attempt with someone else.

There are a ton more pro’s I have running around in my head but for length’s sake I have narrowed it down to the top 6. If you all wish I can go deeper in detail about the pros of F.W.B.

The Con’s:

  1. Multiple Friends: Many people go overboard with having more than one F.W.B at a time. This in my opinion is a recipe for disaster. Just because you trust one, doesn’t me the outside parties trust each other.
  2. Developing Feelings: If by chance you or your partner catch feelings while the other one simply wants to remain strictly sexual it can put a strain on the friendship.
  3. Finding a relationship: It can put a damper on things if your F.W.B suddenly got a new boyfriend. This means it’s pretty much over between you two until they split. Also simply knowing they may be sexually engaged with someone else may be a total turn off for future endeavors.
  4. It’s a big gamble: If you become f.w.b with a close friend there is always that chance the friendship will be broke in some way. If the friend is not close there will be a lack of trust, it’s a lose/lost situation here.
  5. Jealousy: Some people really can’t handle just being friends with benefits, because they know if someone comes along they are pretty much out of the picture unless you are a cheater. Chances are if you are reading this blog you most certainly are not.
  6. Guilt: Stemming from jealousy, guilt can wreak havoc on your mind.

These are the reasons I have not made up my mind on the F.W.B issue but should you do it? I will say this you run great risk attempting this, but you also stand to gain a lot if successful. If I could make any recommendations towards this subject I would recommend that you and a very close friend discuss the possibilities. Protection is obvious but chances are with a close friend you wont have to worry about Diseases, promiscuity, and other hazards regular relationships have that you will need to be wary of.

It’s a completely different arena, and to be honest there is so much you don’t have to worry about but all those things are replaced by a slew of other things that can be just as damaging. However it’s not impossible to make it work, but my advice is simply to be careful regardless of choice.

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Nice Guys: Should You Be Promiscuous?

Having sex with a bunch of different women sounds like a dream come true and for many men it is, but is it really all it’s cracked up to be?

Sex is a very important part of life in many ways. It keeps the human race going, it’s great exercise, it connects up deeply to those we love.

However times have changed dramatically. Today sex has become to many individuals a pass time, a hobby, competition,etc. If you have a penis there is a good chance you’ve contemplated whether or not you should free your sexual inhibitions and lead a more promiscuous lifestyle.

In my experience I have juggled this thought in my mind for years and thought I have come close many times to simply saying “Fuck it”. My morale compass has always brought me to deciding against going through with it. It all comes down to whether or not you see it as an important act that will change your life. I have turned down 98% of sexual advances and have been heavily criticized for it by my male peers.

Unlike most guys, My brain doesn’t shut down at the sight of a great pair of breasts and a firm round ass. It actually does the very opposite by bringing up what I like to call “The List”. Allow me to walk you through it.

  • Do you trust this woman: I learned at a very young age the term DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody (Forward to 2:45 in the video). Most of these encounters have been with strangers/co workers and they have done nothing to make me trust them in any way.
  • Could you have children with this women : It’s one thing to be a father(which I will be a great one) but to be a father with a woman you have absolutely zero interest in is a life of misery in my opinion.
  • How many men do you think she has done this to: This one is critical because I would be a complete jack ass to believe this is the very first time any of the women in these encounters decided to be so blunt in their requests.
  • Is she clean:An intuitive guy can spot a dirty female a mile away. Her appearance, mannerisms, etc are dead giveaways.
  • Does she have kids: It may seem screwed up, but the truth is a single mom that is trying to get in your pants is not exactly the type of person that has her priorities in order. Yes everyone deserves love and all but I have my standards and so should you.

All of this runs through my mind in less than 5 seconds, and if the results are not satisfactory sex is pretty much a no go. The truth is I value not only myself, but the person in question and sex itself. Yes I have and will miss out on countless opportunities and it would bother me if sex actually ruled my world.

While it’s true that we only live once. I would have to say I would like to live without as many regrets as possible. I can’t take back STD’s, children, and all the other hazards that come with being a promiscuous man so I simply choose not to.

What you do is ultimately up to you. I can’t say I recommend the life style but if you decide to participate do it as safely as humanly possible. Keep protection with you at ALL times, never be caught without it. Get yourself test after every encounter, it’s one thing to have something but it’s another thing to ruin someone else life because you didn’t know you where infected.