Category Archives: safe sex

The Ultimate Man’s Guide To Modern Hypergamy

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It’s no secret men have the damnedest time truly understanding the inner workings of the female psyche. Guys are taught from an early age that being nice, supportive, and friendly will almost certainly land them a faithful mate. However this behavior has only landed the vast majority of men in the category of creep while seemingly opposite behavior actually works. Which leaves nice guys everywhere wondering how exactly does a woman choose her partners. Well my friends we have all the answers in today’s post but first I must warn all who read this. The truth is not pretty, it can be extremely harsh and ultimately painful. Never the less it’s nothing compared to the pain of living a lie for years.

I’d like to introduce you to a term that the uninitiated have probably never heard of, the term is called “Hypergamy”. Hypergamy is defined as the act of marrying someone wealthier or of higher status than yourself. While not gender specific the term is more times than not pointed towards women because status and wealth make up vital parts of their total attraction to males.  Think of hypergamy as a giant tree that every woman must climb, and every branch in that tree represents a male.

New Infographic(1)

  Illustration created with the help of Piktochart

As you can see as a man’s income increases so does the level of attraction from the women he interacts with. However this is only a basic understanding of hypergamy and most guys would dismiss this information without really thinking about it. So to help men truly understand this we will cover this down to it’s core. How and where it starts, your role in it, and even real world examples to learn from.

The Three Pillars of Hypergamy

Modern hypergamy is built on three pillars. One pillar is innate while the other two are taught as young girls mature into women. I’ll let the diagram below explain things more clearly.

three female traits of attract(1)  Illustration created with the help of Piktochart

By now you are probably starting to put two and two together. I can imagine the light bulb turning on as you travel back in time and analyze your past encounters with women. Maybe you realize why you were or weren’t so successful with them in high school. Better yet maybe you realize that those that aren’t up to a woman’s standard are considered creeps, perverts, and potential rapists but this is a topic for another day.

No Place To Go But Up

It’s important to keep in mind that once a woman has climbed to a certain height in the tree she absolutely will not climb down to a lower level. It should also be noted there are women that will do just about anything to secure their branch on that tree. Marriage and children are usually the most effective ways for a woman to secure a portion of wealth for men. When the relationship eventually goes sour the legal system will more often than not give a portion of the man’s wealth to the former wife.

Alimony and child support will keep the woman at their desired standard of living until they find the next eligible suitor. Make no mistake this is not isolated to those that are considered wealthy, this happens to men from all walks of life and levels of income.

Men Ultimately Lose In This System

Many men fall prey to this system and the real kicker is that it’s not widely spoken about. Well no need to fear because I am going to go over three mini case studies of the system at work.  Let’s take a look at our victims:

Dwight Howard: 29 year old profession NBA player. He’s got money, looks, and status which is something every woman is looking for. This man most likely has women throw themselves at him every hour of every day. Unfortunately this man has also managed to spawn 8 children in the span of 6 years between 6 different women. This is not the behavior of a man looking to start a family, this is a man that has been caught in the hypergamy trap…8 times.

Evander Holyfield: 52 year old retired professional boxer. 11 children with 9 different women, again not your typical family man behavior. Although it is the behavior of a wealthy bachelor that just happened to get caught and the reckless behavior has lost him over 300 million.

Calvin Murphy: 66 year old retired NBA player. He has 14 children with 9 different women need I say more here? No on plans to have this many children with so many different women, the amount of legal, alimony, and child support bills must be staggering for this former professional.

I think at this point it’s starting to sink in how the hypergamy system works. The real kicker is the fact these gentlemen are not even married to any of the women they have conceived these children with. This means love and companionship were not a factor and unfortunately that is how it is for most men that get sucked into the system. In a later post I will discuss the adverse effects that modern hypergamy and feminism have on males. Until then readers.

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Nice Guys : The Rape Culture Hype & Your Role In It

 

Alright nice guys this is a bit of a rant/educational/guide post here. I’m a little pissed off here and I want to go ahead and take the time before I begin my rant to address to my readers that they might see some strong language. Having said that let’s go ahead and get this show on the road.

The History Lesson:

Rape culture isn’t something new and if you’re the type of individual that tends to live your life instead of living in the media world chances are you’ve never heard of it until recently. In short rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to a culture of society that normalizes, condones , tolerates and excuses rape. This concept has been around since the 1970’s and is often used by feminists to describe the American culture as a whole.

My Problem With This:

In wake of the Isla Vista incident activists decided this would be a great tool in which to teach individuals about the “War on Women” (Yes i put it in quotes because I feel it’s bullshit). This unfortunate incident sparked the #YesAllWomen twitter campaign, a slew of women’s rights articles, etc. Now this was all well and good until I somehow became part of the rape culture problem, oh and you (providing you have a penis) are part of the problem as well! Allow me to explain.

A couple of days ago I came across an article on the Huffington Post titled : A Gentleman’s Guide To Rape Culture and what I read was basically an insult to any self respecting individual with a penis. Now the author explains that all men perpetuates rape culture. How is this possible? Well it’s because you have a penis, that one point alone puts you in the pool with the sick and demented bastards out there that actually pray on people. Screw the fact that you haven’t ever touched anyone let alone a woman in a sexual way without their consent. Hell the fact you have no past history of sexual violence or even a police record still doesn’t excuse you from playing a vital role in rape culture.

The author proceeds to explain that as a man he has the freedom to go anywhere he wants without the worry of being attacked and women feel the opposite. Last time I checked women had the freedom to rape children, claim a man’s assets, and physically assault a man without paying any serious consequences, but I digress. Then he recommends that men use clear body language and act in a way to minimize her fear of being attacked. Yes you need to move and act in a certain way so that any woman you happen to pass doesn’t feel threatened. Oh…my…God. Can I buy whatever drugs this guy is on? This is feminist brainwashing at it’s best but my problem with this doesn’t end here.

Earlier I mentioned the Isla Vista incident and it sparking activist actions like #YesAllWomen and other media. The problem with this is that the foundation of all this action is based on misinformation! Now those attacks took the lives of 4 men, 2 women and the killer as well. Nobody wins in that situation but it’s been turned into some sort of attack against women specifically. I’m not excusing Elliot Rodger’s behavior but the fact is this guy was physically, mentally & emotionally abused by his peers, there is video and documentation proving these facts. However the news and the media focused on his hang ups with women. Anyone else remember the news bringing up the 4 guys that where killed during this whole thing? Yeah me either…

So what happens is activists start speaking about how this is a war against women and that American culture is a rape culture. We went from a violent crime against both genders to a war against women to America being a society that advocates rape. What!? Hell we had Miss USA bring up a brilliant idea of learning self defense to address college rape and she was considered an idiot. Far be it from all these women who are scared shitless of being raped to have the tools to prevent it. How dare she. “Men should just not rape” I shit you not, that is an actual response.

A Real Guide To Rape Culture For Men:

You guys want to know what you should do with all this crap about rape culture? Here are my top recommendations:

  1. Don’t buy into media hype or get involved with social media bullshit. Not only is it riddled with false information it has a habit of brainwashing you into believing that somehow you (as a man) are the problem. If you take an interest in a story on social media look into the facts yourself! I still find it amazing that Elliot Rodger’s rampage is being passed off as War On Women. Get the facts straight people.
  2. Don’t apologize for being a man. You were born with a penis, congratulations! Don’t ever consider it some kind of badge of shame. Yes there are bad men out there but you know what there are diabolical women out here as well.
  3. Don’t Take Responsibility for another person’s hangups. You know everyone is scared of something, it’s part of being human. As a man I can definitely tell you  in the back of my mind I’m afraid of being wrongfully attacked by the police, but it would be stupid of me to tell all cops to approach me with their hands raised. If you are so scared of something to the effect of being socially paralyzed then you need professional help. Take the steps to get over it.
  4. Remember we live in a feminine society. Although equality is the theme any man knows good and well women have the advantage. It’s a sad day when it comes down to men having to video tape themselves being attacked by women so they can avoid going to jail.
  5. Just say no to drugs & a large portion of alcohol. 57% of rapes apparently happen on dates and75% of men & 55% of women were drinking or taking drugs before the attack. Understand what I’m saying? Good. Ease off the booze, LSD, weed, whatever the hell you kids are taking these days. Also It’s OK to say no to women who may throw themselves at you in a drunken or drug filled stupor. I’ve done it more times and I can tell you I don’t regret any of those choices because chances are it probably kept me out of jail.
  6. Violence Against Anyone Is Wrong. Let’s take a moment here and realize violence against any human being is wrong. Men, women, & children are at risk of being attacked in some way. No one is immune! Let’s get rid of the notion that some how women are the only ones that have targets painted on their backs.

Alright people that’s my rant for today until next time be safe, keep your wits about you, and keep your guard up! As always feel free to comment, rate, like, share, & spread the word! This is definitely one of the most important topics for men of all ages to discuss. Thanks for reading.

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Nice Guys : Is It Better To Have A Friend With Benefits?

Stemming from my last post about sex, I wanted to address something every nice guy considers as a “lesser of two evils” when it comes to sex. That lesser evil is called many things like Fuck Buddies, Special Buddy System, etc however for simplicity I will call it Friends With Benefits (F.W.B for short). When it comes to F.W.B I can’t say I have experienced it but on multiple occasions the offer has come up as well as my view on it changing dramatically.

 When I was first introduced to the term I was in my senior year of high school months away from graduation. I was out with friends one whom of which was in college at the time. She had decided to introduce me to a classmate of hers, as expected of my social circle the young lady was charming and well spoken. At the end of our day she had received a phone call, it was extremely brief. She mentioned a time and place and promptly hung up. I was a bit of a curious kid so I said

“That was a short call, everything alright?”

She smiled and said “That’s my…FF.”

I gave her one of my patented -I don’t get it looks- To which she elaborated “Friends with benefits”. I asked her what the term meant exactly (yes I know I was a very naive teenager) and she was completely shocked that I had no idea what she was talking about. She put it as blunt as humanly possible.

“We get together and fuck…nothing more and nothing less. Just sex.”

 I was a little taken back by her definition but I showed that I understood completely by nodding and looking at the ground pretty quickly. I remembered trying to run the workings of such a relationship in my mind but simply could not wrap my head around the idea at the time. Two friends just using each other for sex didn’t just seemed immoral but it seems just flat out wrong. I guess my silence tipped her off and she said

“Don’t knock it till you try it…”

 I pretty much knocked it out right. I couldn’t imagine myself doing such a seemingly horrible thing to someone especially if I called them a friend. As time went on my views on F.W.B began to change, a steadily increasing number of friends began participating. At first I was a bit disappointed in all of them but I stepped outside of my own self righteousness just long enough to see why they where doing it. The one thing everyone had in common was that they were all hurt very badly on the relationship battlefield. Of course I didn’t see their point of view fully until I went through that exact same pain, no doubt that you too have experienced it and if you have I am very sad and sorry to know you’ve gone through something that has undoubtedly changed you’re life.

 My friends gave up on true love, they put their hearts and souls into the one they really wanted and it turned out wrong for them. The F.W.B option was the best way out of a sexually dormant life and I can’t really blame them after everything I’ve experienced with normal relationships first hand. It’s not a matter of giving up or even having an apathetic outlook on you’re love life. It’s a realization you get when you just know that you will not love someone to the fullest, or maybe because you will always have that wariness towards future partners, or even you simply just don’t have the will to try again.

So Is It Alright To Have Friends With Benefits?

In all honesty it’s still a choice I have yet to make. While I gladly admit that it is a sound solution for those that have had enough heart ache for a lifetime, I also can’t help but to think it’s still wrong on some levels. I’ll explain the best I can:

The Pro’s :

  1. Expectations: Both people know exactly what to expect. This leaves absolutely no room to be disappointed. There is no need to feel like you constantly need to be “new” “exciting” or “fresh” which is a great feeling on it’s own.
  2. Friendship: Having a real friendship means that you two can really be at ease with each other. You can go out have a good time, go home and have an even better time if you so choose. There is no pressure, awkwardness, etc.
  3. It’s Always There: True friends will always be there for you no matter what happens in your life. Just as you would be for your friends, there will never bee a period of “no communication” like the ones you’ve no undoubtedly experienced when you where in a relationship.
  4. No Break Ups: Imagine that! Never having to break up or be broken up with ever again. This one point alone was something that really makes me struggle with the subject. The feeling I get when I think about it is a like the feeling you would get if you never had to worry about money, food, etc.
  5. Something Can Grow: I’ve always believed true love grows from true friendship. If you can have a friendship with this level of closeness love can grow and turn into a truly wonderful thing.
  6. Pure Trust: Your real friends wouldn’t do a damn thing to hurt you in any way and the same thing should be said about you. High levels of trust allow you both to be as sexually free as you want, you can both try  and experience new things you probably wouldn’t even attempt with someone else.

There are a ton more pro’s I have running around in my head but for length’s sake I have narrowed it down to the top 6. If you all wish I can go deeper in detail about the pros of F.W.B.

The Con’s:

  1. Multiple Friends: Many people go overboard with having more than one F.W.B at a time. This in my opinion is a recipe for disaster. Just because you trust one, doesn’t me the outside parties trust each other.
  2. Developing Feelings: If by chance you or your partner catch feelings while the other one simply wants to remain strictly sexual it can put a strain on the friendship.
  3. Finding a relationship: It can put a damper on things if your F.W.B suddenly got a new boyfriend. This means it’s pretty much over between you two until they split. Also simply knowing they may be sexually engaged with someone else may be a total turn off for future endeavors.
  4. It’s a big gamble: If you become f.w.b with a close friend there is always that chance the friendship will be broke in some way. If the friend is not close there will be a lack of trust, it’s a lose/lost situation here.
  5. Jealousy: Some people really can’t handle just being friends with benefits, because they know if someone comes along they are pretty much out of the picture unless you are a cheater. Chances are if you are reading this blog you most certainly are not.
  6. Guilt: Stemming from jealousy, guilt can wreak havoc on your mind.

These are the reasons I have not made up my mind on the F.W.B issue but should you do it? I will say this you run great risk attempting this, but you also stand to gain a lot if successful. If I could make any recommendations towards this subject I would recommend that you and a very close friend discuss the possibilities. Protection is obvious but chances are with a close friend you wont have to worry about Diseases, promiscuity, and other hazards regular relationships have that you will need to be wary of.

It’s a completely different arena, and to be honest there is so much you don’t have to worry about but all those things are replaced by a slew of other things that can be just as damaging. However it’s not impossible to make it work, but my advice is simply to be careful regardless of choice.

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Nice Guys: Should You Be Promiscuous?

Having sex with a bunch of different women sounds like a dream come true and for many men it is, but is it really all it’s cracked up to be?

Sex is a very important part of life in many ways. It keeps the human race going, it’s great exercise, it connects up deeply to those we love.

However times have changed dramatically. Today sex has become to many individuals a pass time, a hobby, competition,etc. If you have a penis there is a good chance you’ve contemplated whether or not you should free your sexual inhibitions and lead a more promiscuous lifestyle.

In my experience I have juggled this thought in my mind for years and thought I have come close many times to simply saying “Fuck it”. My morale compass has always brought me to deciding against going through with it. It all comes down to whether or not you see it as an important act that will change your life. I have turned down 98% of sexual advances and have been heavily criticized for it by my male peers.

Unlike most guys, My brain doesn’t shut down at the sight of a great pair of breasts and a firm round ass. It actually does the very opposite by bringing up what I like to call “The List”. Allow me to walk you through it.

  • Do you trust this woman: I learned at a very young age the term DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody (Forward to 2:45 in the video). Most of these encounters have been with strangers/co workers and they have done nothing to make me trust them in any way.
  • Could you have children with this women : It’s one thing to be a father(which I will be a great one) but to be a father with a woman you have absolutely zero interest in is a life of misery in my opinion.
  • How many men do you think she has done this to: This one is critical because I would be a complete jack ass to believe this is the very first time any of the women in these encounters decided to be so blunt in their requests.
  • Is she clean:An intuitive guy can spot a dirty female a mile away. Her appearance, mannerisms, etc are dead giveaways.
  • Does she have kids: It may seem screwed up, but the truth is a single mom that is trying to get in your pants is not exactly the type of person that has her priorities in order. Yes everyone deserves love and all but I have my standards and so should you.

All of this runs through my mind in less than 5 seconds, and if the results are not satisfactory sex is pretty much a no go. The truth is I value not only myself, but the person in question and sex itself. Yes I have and will miss out on countless opportunities and it would bother me if sex actually ruled my world.

While it’s true that we only live once. I would have to say I would like to live without as many regrets as possible. I can’t take back STD’s, children, and all the other hazards that come with being a promiscuous man so I simply choose not to.

What you do is ultimately up to you. I can’t say I recommend the life style but if you decide to participate do it as safely as humanly possible. Keep protection with you at ALL times, never be caught without it. Get yourself test after every encounter, it’s one thing to have something but it’s another thing to ruin someone else life because you didn’t know you where infected.