Category Archives: nice guys finish last

5 Unbelievable Facts Men Should Know About Valentines Day

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It’s that time of the year again nice guys. Valentine’s Day is a few days away and well over 60% of us (assuming you are in the US) will be celebrating it. Chances are if you have a girl you fancy then you have already planned the day out, but is this holiday really all about love and romance? The five major facts discussed in today’s post may have you second guessing why you celebrate of this historical day.

Men Spend Upwards of $150 Or More On Their Dates.

When it comes to spending, the average man will spend over $150 in meals, gifts, and entertainment on the object of their affection. Unfortunately for this is also about a weeks worth of pay for the common male. A lot of women would argue “What’s wrong with having a day where a man pays for dinner and gifts?” The problem is this is a daily occurrence for all men that are currently involved or looking to be involved with a woman in which they are attracted.

Can you imagine spending $80 to $200 dollars on dinner and gifts for a lousy “thank you”? Millions of guys have this experienced situation and continue to every year. Why? Simply because men feel obligated to do so on Valentines day other wise they are seen as cheap or unappreciative of women.

Women Not Only Want More But Expect More.

The average woman not only prefer but expects a gift after being treated to a nice dinner. If any of you guys reading this thought an expensive dinner was enough, think again!  Since we are in a society that coddles females, it’s only natural that women start to become self absorbed and feel entitled to the spoils of your labor.

Men Spend Double Than Women

On average women spend $70 dollars in gifts on valentines day. While it’s nice to have a woman spend their money on the man in their life, it’s a simple drop in the hat compared to male spending. Women expect their men to go big on this “day of love” however most women won’t reciprocate the generous gesture. Most women think that the promise of sex is their way of going big for their men, I’m here to tell you that is a stupid argument. If you have a dead bedroom, scheduled sex, or occasional sex then your relationship is in serious trouble and your woman is a live in prostitute. She’s exchanging material wealth for sex and you are a sap for falling for it.

Women Often Trade Partners On V-Day

Studies show 53% of women in the US would leave their boyfriends/husbands if they received a cheap or no gift for Valentines Day. Yes the majority of women are so vain that they can toss a relationship out the window over a simple gift. The unfortunate truth is this is common behavior, and most men can’t seem to wrap their heads around a woman who can easily cut ties with them and never look back. It’s very important for men to realize just how shallow the opposite sex can be.

Only 27% Of Women Actively Participate On V-Day

Remember when I said women will spend roughly $70 bucks on Valentines Day? Well 15% of those women spend it on themselves. Yes women will by roses, chocolates, and other nice things but over half of them are buying it for themselves. That means only 12% of women actually do anything for their partners on this day of “Love”. Again sex is not a gift or a treat and if that is how it’s being used in your relationship it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.

You might be asking yourself just how did this holiday which is suppose to be about love and romance turn into a glorified cash grab. Well there are many reasons, but the most prevalent is that men in general allow and tolerate it. If you find yourself more obligated to buy gifts rather than genuinely wanting to then you are celebrating this holiday the wrong way. Valentines day is a day when it is traditional to send a card, often anonymously, to a person one is romantically involved with or attracted to. Now it’s become nothing but a shameless money grab for companies and a mini Christmas for women and the men seem to be the big suckers in the equation.

Whether you’ve made plans or are debating doing something for that special someone make sure she’s worth the time and effort. It can be hard to tell but you can start by reading No More Mr.Nice Guy and going from there. I guarantee it will be an enlightening read.

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Top 5 Guaranteed Ways To Increase Your Success With Any Woman

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Although it’s  late Happy New Year everyone, I hope you all are entering the new year in good spirits. I want to go ahead and start 2015 off on the right foot and what better way than to give you guys some highly guarded tips on how to improve your relations with any woman. Whether you are 15 or 51, you can apply these methods immediately and even get results the same day. Keep in mind these are the things dating coaches charge you up to $3,000 to learn and no I’m not kidding. So put your wallets away because The Nice Guy has got you covered.

Become High Maintenance

This one seems pretty easy but it’s pretty difficult. It’s important to keep your body in tip top shape. Looking and feeling good is naturally attractive to all women so keep yourself clean, fit, and dressed relatively well. If you have clothes that don’t compliment your frame you should throw them away, if you aren’t confident about your body then exercise, and it doesn’t stop there. Start viewing yourself under a microscope, keep track of anything you don’t like and make a real effort to correct them.

Draw A Line In The Sand

Setting boundaries is important in all aspects of life, but it’s extremely important when dealing with women who are currently or want to be in your life. This is because women love to test a man’s resolve and see just how much of a pushover he really is. Confront her when she crosses a line and be clear about your expectations in the future. Doing this commands respect and will put the woman in a more passive or submissive position when she interacts with you.

There Can Be More Than One

Women know they have you wrapped around their finger when you treat them like they are the last living female in existence. 99.9% of men are horribly guilty of this and for some odd reason continue to behave in this manner. Good looking women are a dime a dozen, if you pass one on the street a few minutes later you will see another. Subtle ways to let a woman in your life know she’s not all that is by checking out other women, chatting, flirting, making comments. Now you may have heard that women hate it when men they know check out other women and it’s true. That’s because their attention is being given to someone else. Use that to your advantage.

Be Decisive All The Time

A man should always know what he wants to do in any given situation. Now a days you have what I like to call the “Shruggers”, you know. The kind of guy that gets asked a question and their reply is a shoulder shrug and a “I don’t know”, I don’t care” or “It’s up to you”. It’s an extremely bad habit that most men have adopted over the last few decades and it not only kills a woman’s natural attraction to you but it’s a strong sign that you lack self confidence in your actions. I’m actually willing to bet that if you are an indecisive male you have your fair share of controlling and overbearing women in your life. Ring a bell?

Learn To Say No

With all the feminist upbringing I know for a fact all men reading this have the damnedest time saying no to women when it comes to anything. Let me tell you the biggest secret in the world right now. Saying “No” to a woman drives them crazy. Why? Simply because they are not used to being turned away by males. Learning to say no gives you all the power in the world when it comes to any woman in your life be in your girlfriend, friend, sex buddy, even your own mother. This is by far the hardest tip to learn and will take some serious time to learn. To help you learn this faster I recommend reading No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A Glover. I guarantee while you are reading it you will feel as if the author made this book specifically for you.

I have no doubts that doing the things listed above will immediately increase your success with women in general. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man that can’t be manipulated, is well kept and isn’t afraid to walk away from a pretty face. The man that isn’t swayed by the influences of women is the man that can have any woman he chooses. I like that because it’s so true. Until next time guys.

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The Adverse Effects Of Hypergamy & A Feminized Society

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In last weeks post we gave guys a road map to follow when it comes to women and their mate selection process. While it was helpful to a lot of guys out there it has still gotten a number of questions from men and even a complaint or two from women. As promised in this weeks post we will be discussing the effects that hypergamy and feminism have on modern men. In addition I’ll be covering the questions and comments I have received concerning last week’s post at a later date but let’s go ahead and go over exactly what men have to face in modern society.

The Plight Of The Modern Male

So what kinds of problems are men facing today and how exactly does hypergamy play a major role? For starters we are living in an era where being a male is extremely difficult. From birth boys are under constant scrutiny by a feminized education system, raised emasculated and trained to be subservient to the opposite sex. Only to take on what I consider social abnormalities that are literally derailing healthy male development.

  • Social Awkwardness: We learn the ability to speak and socialize in early Childhood. However our young boys are being medicated and told to be quiet
  • Female Worship: This is something that 95% of the male population suffers with. Again being taught from a young age to always be nice to girls, buy them nice gifts, and always say nice things to them. Men often take this advice to the highest degree.
  • Low Self Worth: Men being raised to shun their natural masculine instincts often sacrifice themselves and their resources. In doing so they somehow become “heroes” in the eyes of society.
  • Androgyny: In the ongoing quest to impress women a lot of guys have turned to appearing more feminine in order to attract Mrs. Right. Yes men heard that women don’t like big muscles, macho attitudes, and beards. So they broke out the skinny jeans, hair dye, and fedoras…

The problems don’t end their unfortunately, after schooling young men still need to deal with the ever growing oppression of the feminist society in which they live. Men constantly need to walk on eggshells, beg and grovel when dealing with women and it’s not getting any easier. Let’s take a look at some of the very real issues young men have to deal with in today’s society.

  • The Potential Predator: Today men have earned the stigma that they are a potential predator to women and children. Children have gone from “Don’t talk to strangers.” to “Don’t talk to strange men.”
  • Demonized Male Sexuality: Normal heterosexual male behavior is often considered to be unacceptable if it is publicly observed. Gone are the days of saying hello to a woman on the street without being labeled a pervert.
  • Guilty Until Proven Otherwise: Today’s justice system more often than not considers all males accused of a crime guilty until proven innocent. This is especially true if these crimes are committed against the opposite sex.
  • The Worst Gender: Men are considered to be dumb, lazy, and incapable. This can be observed in all forms of media from television to movies. A frighteningly large number of men have embraced the role of the “bumbling idiot” do to society’s constant influence.

Believe me the list doesn’t stop here, it’s just that I like to point out the issues that stand out to me the most.

The Adverse Effects

By themselves they are aggravating but when combined they become a series of unfortunate events that lead to a wide scale social breakdown. Again I could list a million things that hypergamy and feminism has done but for the sake of not losing our minds I will list the top four effects.

  • Mass Male Withdrawal: Men are officially calling it quits when it comes to women in general. From the Grass Eaters, MGTOW, to The Red Pill. Men everywhere are slowly realizing that they don’t have to deal with feminist bullshit(Pardon my french).
  • Marriage is on the decline: For men marriage is a death sentence, and more guys are starting to denounce marriage and in most cases relationships. Why buy the cow hen the milk is free right?
  • Women are not accountable: Women are raised to believe the world is all about them and anything they do or say is right. Along with this society is always their to save the damsel in distress whether it be government assistance or the men obligated to do so.
  • There are no good men: For women who are getting older there is a large shortage of available men to start a life with. Men are no longer settling for the woman who have been promiscuous in their youth and this fact is driving a lot of women mad.

If things keep progressing the way they are feminized societies are going to end up causing some serious social declines in the near future. The irony is that women will be the ones that will suffer the most in the end.

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Nice Guys : The Benjamin Franklin Effect

Nice guys! How do you get a woman in which you are attracted to like you? Do you give them lots of attention? Treat them out to dinner? Shower them with gifts? Always pay for the bill? How often have you gone that extra mile for someone only to have it blow up in your face later on? What if I told you there was a fool proof way to properly gauge a woman’s genuine affection for you without you putting yourself in too much of a compromising position? Well wish no more nice guys I have just that for you today. This technique is called “The Benjamin Franklin Effect” and is today’s topic of discussion. Today you are going to discover how to use this effect to your advantage and see whether the object of your affection is even worth your time.

So what is this effect and why should I care?

The Benjamin Franklin Effect (BFE) is a psychological finding that says that a person who has invested an effort into another person is more likely to invest even more into that same person. So what does this mean? Think about every time you’ve treated a woman you like out to dinner, paid the bill, gave her gifts. Your initial investment into that person will usually lead to another investment. Which means more dates, fancy gifts, or favors for that person in addition you becoming even more attracted to them.

How does this help me with women?

Glad you asked nice guy! Now that you know the principles of the B.F.E, you can now compare and contrast your level of investment and hers.  If you find yourself investing where your woman isn’t you know for a fact that her attraction to you isn’t there. This saves you a lot of wasted time, money, and energy in the dating game and can even help you land a real catch quicker.

The method isn’t difficult and you don’t even have to change your current approach. All you need to do is pay attention to her actions to gauge her level of investment. However nice guys I feel I must warn a few of you when it comes to effectively gauging a woman’s investment in you. In no way, shape, or form should you take any kind of physical contact as an investment. Hugs, pecks on the cheek and even sex can are often misconstrued by the gullible.

True investments are her picking up the tab, getting you a gift, or even taking you out… Basically anything you’d do for her. Now while you may say “Well these things aren’t exactly what a woman should do for me.” allow me to drag you out of the 1950’s and into the magical world of equality. There may be some extremely old fashion women out there (never met one but hey) however I doubt you’ll have one that likes you and not do something for you just because. Keep in mind the B.F.E isn’t only for gauging a woman’s affections to you but it also works on friendships, family, even work related relationships. It may just change the way you interact with everyone around you. Enjoy nice guys.

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Nice Guys : Pedestaling & You

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Hello nice guys(and gals), today I have a bit of a treat post for you. Truth be told this subject has been on my mind since last week and I knew instantly that it was going to be my next post’s topic. Today’s topic is about pedestaling, what it is, why you shouldn’t do it and how it changes you for the worse.

We’ve all placed women on a pedestal at some point in time of our lives, but the average nice guy has a terrible tendency to do this on a regular basis. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong to be polite to the opposite sex but that is where you should probably draw the line. In this post I have a strange story of how a nice guy takes putting women on a pedestal to the extreme. His post is rather long so I will be cutting it up for the sake of length.

Our nice guy’s name is Thomas, he’s been married to his wife for five years but as of late things haven’t been all rainbows and sunshine. Thomas says:

Several months ago, we were at a low point in our marriage. I was always busy with work and didn’t spend enough time with her. She felt that we were becoming distant. Many arguments arose and our love in one another felt like it was dwindling. At this time, I had to go away on a business trip for the weekend. My wife was alone at home, with our problems unresolved, and felt empty. She sought to ease the pain with alcohol at a local bar. In a moment of weakness, she had an affair with one of the patrons. Immediately, the next morning, she called me in tears and told me what happened. I felt anger, betrayal, and sorrow, and found myself unable to deal with the situation. I couldn’t talk my precious wife for days.

Immediately, the next morning, she called me in tears and told me what happened. I felt anger, betrayal, and sorrow, and found myself unable to deal with the situation. I couldn’t talk my precious wife for days.At this point, our marriage was greater than it’s ever been. However, a life changing issue has arisen in past two weeks. My wife had been feeling sick and no common medicine seemed to help. As time went by, she began to question if perhaps her ills were a result of a pregnancy. Sure enough, we went to her doctor and he confirmed that my wife was now 9 weeks pregnant. A realization hit the both of us that given the timing, there was no chance that I could be the father. Therefore the pregnancy was the result of my wife’s affair. The news broke her heart, and has left me in a state of depression. Once again, the feelings of anger and betrayal arose, leaving me distant from my wife.

At this point, I’m not sure what to do. Horrible thoughts of divorce and abortion enter my mind every day, and I’m trying my best to suppress them. I have fears that if we have this child together, I might resent him/her. The man my wife had the affair with was African American, while she and I are both Caucasian. This presents another fear as it would be clear to the child that I’m not the true father. How would I explain this to him/her? How would I explain this to others? Many thoughts keep passing through my mind, and I don’t know what to do. I feel alone, both emotionally and spiritually, and am questioning why God has allowed this to happen.”

Now dealing with a cheating partner is never easy, and it’s especially difficult being a nice guy. After reading Tom’s plea I can’t help but think he has this woman on a pedestal and no matter what she does wrong he can’t seem to knock her off. Notice how Tom seems to blame himself for his wife’s actions, and down right says he has no right to judge her! The reason I’m choosing Tom’s story is not because it’s the worst I’ve ever seen but the least extreme.

This poor guy is essentially apologizing for something his wife did to him and blaming it on everyone except the person who did the wrong doing. This is the end result of pedestaling guys, it completely destroys your perception and makes you lose focus of what’s going on around you. Let’s break down the effects to be clear guys.

The Causes:

What causes a guy to literally go blind(love is blind? see what I did there?) when in the presence of a woman? Great question, here are a few  answers.

  • Because you mom said so: In today’s world most parent/s teach their men in training to  always respect women and be nice to them.
  • Reward: For some strange reason nice guys think that if they trip over themselves with the sole purpose of making a woman happy that it will some how land them together. Guys it’s a lot more complicated than that and I promise in another post I’ll break it down for you.
  • Attention: Nice guys hate being ignored by someone that they like. It makes them sad, depressed, and mad at the world. They will do anything to get rid of those feelings.

The Effects:

  • She can’t do anything wrong: Having a woman on a pedestal makes you paint them in a perfect light, so perfect in fact that if she did anything wrong it wouldn’t even register in your brain. Enter Tom…
  • You are no longer important: You stop looking out for number one, and just look after her. Again this makes you lose focus on what is really going on in your relationship. Tom again…
  • Everything is your fault: If she leaves you or hooks up with someone else. Some how it turns out to be your fault and your fault alone.

In conclusion guys you really need to step back and see if you have adopted any of the symptoms above and if you have you seriously need to reverse the process before you end up like Thomas. A middle aged man that has been married to a wife that had an affair and is carrying a baby that isn’t his. Somewhere in Tom’s mind she didn’t do anything wrong, and he has no right to judge her. Nice guys this is your fate if you don’t stop putting women you are attracted to on a pedestal. Stay tuned for net week’s post as always comments, questions, complaints, concerns, and confessions are welcome!

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Nice Guys : The M.G.T.O.W Movement & You

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Over the past few decades it seems that men and women have been secretly waging war against the opposite sex and if you’ve been living under a rock like I have this post will be of news to you! Yes ladies and gentlemen the battle of the sexes have officially boiled over and nice guys around the world are officially done. Wait? What exactly do you mean “done”? They can’t just be “done”! Well apparently  nice guys and men in general have formed a movement called M.G.T.O.W (Men Going Their Own Way). In this post I’d like to go into detail about the movement, what it means, and most of all why it was created in the first place.

So one might ask ” What exactly has so many guys so pissed off? “, Well I went ahead and did some homework (literally a years worth) I joined the movement in January of 2013. I literally felt like a war journalist tagging along with a special military unit for a week in the jungles of Nam. Now don’t get me wrong at no point in time of my journalism was I shot at but I often did come under fire. So what exactly is M.G.T.O.W movement and what exactly does it mean to be a part of it?

Well the M.G.T.O.W movement is basically a group of men that are literally tired of the world they live in. What does this mean? Basically I have complied a rather long list on what has brought so many of the nice guy army into this movement but for the sake of time I’ve toned it down to .  Here are the top  reasons men join M.G.T.O.W:

  • Rules : We’ve all seen it. In today’s age there are so many rules to dating, relationships, marriage, and even how to interact with the opposite sex. While normally I’d think this doesn’t actually make too much sense because any individual that is their own person would totally ignore all these “rules” and just be themselves. However my knowledge in psychology also knows that the average woman is 98% more likely to listen the popular opinion instead of make up their own mind. Yes it’s true look it up.
  • Feminism : This one wasn’t a big surprise but when I spoke to a lot of the married/divorced guys in the group I was shocked.  Over the past few years feminism has definitely stacked the deck against men when it comes to everything from simple interaction with women to marriage. It’s been considered one of the biggest things that have ruined relationships between men and women. There is so much more to talk about with this reason but I have to do it in another post!
  • RE-Education : Men feel that the past and current generations of males have brainwashed by today’s society to be weak, docile, and ultimately controlled by anything in a skirt. This was honestly a shock to the system because I actually felt like everything I taught guys over the years actually paid off! For years I’ve coached guy to be their own individual and it just seemed like they all gathered together here in the M.G.T.O.W camp.
  • Support : Let’s be honest here if you don’t have any support system in your life your kind of S.O.L. The men of M.G.T.O.W are there for you bro. Regardless of what you need help with, it’s gone from dating, to entrepreneurship, to help fixing your blender!  In all honestly I’m impressed with the amount of support members  give to each other.

The Veridct

So nice guys by now you probably have a few questions and to sum them all up it probably translates into “Should I become part of this movement and if so how does it work?” Well guys I will be brutal here. In my time with M.G.T.O.W I can’t say I learned too much that I didn’t already know. However I would say that if you are the type of guy that seriously struggles when it comes to women. I’d strongly suggest you take a look at what a lot of these guys have to say. There are guys that have been through divorces and are helping others get through theirs with incredible expert and accurate advice. I even ended up teaching a lot of the younger crowd about women so they avoid the oh so many mistakes they would of made without the movement involved in their lives.

Also keep in mind while ultimately this is something that would be a healthy addition to any man’s life be warned that supporters of the movement can come under fire by some seriously angry individuals. Will you get into a fist fight? Probably not but you will have your fair share of keyboard warriors that will fight tooth and nail with you online as if they where in a boxing match with Mike Tyson and the stakes where their very lives. One other thing I’d warn new comers about is the fact that it’s difficult in the first few months. The things you’ll learn will be hard to swallow(Just ask Luke), and lots of guys hearing it for the first time can be a little scary. I mean imagine a total stranger telling you everything that’s wrong with you to such a degree you’d swear they have you on a hidden camera somewhere. Yeah it’s that intense, but all in all I’d say give it a shot. Joining is as simple as searching the term online, for those that use reddit it’s even easier “/r/MGTOW“.

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Nice Guys: How (NOT) To Be A Sucker

Happy New Year gang it’s been over a month without any of my witty rants or words of wisdom. So today I figured I’d drop in to let you guys in on something that can ultimately lead to less hassles with the opposite sex. That something is how to refrain from being tagged as a sucker. Now some of you may know exactly what I am talking about and that’s awesome but for the remainder of you that are wondering what exactly constitutes the sucker label I will go into a bit of detail just for you.

What is a sucker?

To be blunt it’s a person that is extremely gullible beyond belief. In fact said person is so easily duped that it may seem like he is mentally deprived…stupid I think they call it. These kinds of guys do anything and everything for a woman’s amusement at their own expense. Why do they do it? Not even I know, but I do know it needs to stop.

Marco writes:

“So I’ve been casually dating this girl who is perhaps out of my league for a couple weeks now. By casual I mean she is upfront to me about seeing other guys (2 others) besides me. We’re not “exclusive”.
Anycase, we haven’t been physical yet…despite me wanting it badly and trying to coax her to bed nearly every night I see her. The more she resists and puts it off the more I want it. But in the meantime she has admitted to me that she has already slept with one of her other usual dates whom she has known for less than a week? How come she slept with him already and not me? She admitted to me that they have sex “a few times a week” but that he’s a “casual date” and not right for her “long term”. Am I being played by a woman? Analyze this situation for me. Would appreciate your opinion.”

Ladies and gentlemen this is a shining example of a sucker. I must say this women must be drop dead gorgeous because if any women told me she was dating two other guys and even slept with one with in 7 days of meeting them. I’d be out the door in less than 30 seconds. I mean call me old fashion or straight edge, but “dating” multiple people is probably the biggest fail anyone can achieve. I’ll rant on this in another post I promise because there are a ton of readers messing around with multiple people right now. You know who you are damn it!

Sucker Rehab

So by now you’ve probably realized that you have a problem or maybe you are in the same situation as Marco here (I pray that you are not). There are a few things that  you will have to stick to and at first it will probably be extremely difficult to do but rest assured I believe in you!

  • Realize you’re an idiot: Yes that might seem incredibly cold but until you realize that you are being a jack ass the sooner you will be on the road to recovery. Sure there might be that one time she genuinely needed help changing her tires, but jogging down to the auto zone and purchasing them is a bit much…
  • Learn to say No: I know you’ve probably watched “Yes Man” a million times and are trying to adopt the philosophy in your life but this is not one of those avenues… When addressed with a outrageous request or situation save yourself the trouble and say NO!
  • Have some standards: No standards means you are desperate and will do anything for the slightest bit of attention from a woman. Don’t be this guy. This is something you’d expect from a 12 year old hitting puberty. You’re a grown ass man, so make sure you have some standards in place to let her know you won’t jump through hoops.
  • Stop viewing women as rare occurrences: Women are everywhere! Hell they out number us in population. Try to realize that they aren’t going to mysteriously disappear if you don’t do stupid things for their enjoyment. Yes large breasts, thighs, ass and vagina are wonderful things. However it’s hardly a rare sight to behold. If it is for you the internet can take care of that in less than a second.

Now don’t think women don’t have this problem as well. They totally do but men seem to do some of the stupidest things you can imagine while in the warm caress of a woman’s attention and most women know this. So they will have their fun when and if they can at your expense. Men have  a habit of just getting in a woman’s pants when the roles are reversed, not that it excuses them from being douche bags either but at least they won’t put you ladies through some incredibly embarrassing situations.

I love women as much as the next guy. I like their company and I like to have intelligent conversations with the pretty ones. However I don’t believe I need to jump through hoops, perform tricks, or exert my manliness to get these things and if I get a hint of needing to do that with specific women I don’t waste my time and neither should you! Take this advice seriously, while I made a few jokes to lighten the mood so to speak doesn’t mean there isn’t any meaning to what I’m saying. Marco already knows the deal, and he is well on his way to being a better nice guy. Till next time guys which will be this month as I want to post a lot more because some of the stories I have to share are awesome in more ways than one.

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Nice Guys: Are You A Loser?

Hello everyone and welcome to November! I know it’s the last day of the month, but  give me a bit of a break here. I’ve been dealing with category 5 hurricanes, Thanks Giving with family, and life in general. Speaking of life in general I wanted to go ahead and discuss a very important topic. That topic is that question all of us ask our selves at some point in time.

“Am I a loser?

I’ve been reading the stories (way too many of them) and it makes me feel terrible that so many people are struggling with this question. Normally I have on that really sticks out in my mind but there are literally a handful that just make me wonder where these people are going to end up. Just know that if you feel like you are a loser this post is dedicated to you and your struggle and I hope it helps you in some kind of way.

Answering The Question

It’s never an easy question to answer, in fact it’s down right impossible because there is a part of you that is beyond bias and hates your guts. You see these kinds of questions pop up in one of two scenarios, bullying or self loathing. Neither of which are better than the other as they both lead to depression, isolation, apathy, and even suicide. The scenarios are tough to get through, and even tougher to identify and take action against. Are you being bullied or do you just hate yourself that much? Can it possibly be both?

Bullying:

Bullying has evolved over the past century from simple teasing at the play ground between children to indirect comments between adults. While children can be cruel, I’m afraid adults can be a bit more callous and cold especially in the kind of world we live in today. It’s not all rainbows and cupcakes out here. As an adult, boy friend, husband, etc so much is expected of us that when we don’t deliver we are deemed useless. The stigma of being a “nice guy” or “the 30 year old in their parent’s basement” all of these things can drive a person in these categories insane.

I think what people fail to realize is that we aren’t all given the same chances, even if we want to believe that it’s true. If you feel that everyone one has the same chance to be something go to a third world country and tell that starving kid to grow his or her own food,  go tell that homeless man on the street to get a job even though he is missing a leg, tell that guy in his parent’s basement to be somebody when he is trying is damnedest not to live a mediocre life.

It’s easy to tell others where their faults are, and what they should do. Until you step foot into their shoes. You can’t tell someone that is suffering that they will be fine until you go through that same pain. If you are one of those people that often make those comments, you should think about what you are saying and who you are effecting by saying it.

Self Loathing:

At some time or another I am sure we have all been hard on ourselves because of something. For some people it’s a bit more extreme then a simple internal berating. I personally still struggle with it because I am one of those guys that can’t stand to lose or get the short end of the stick. I used to always get down on myself about how I should of been faster, stronger, smarter, what ever. For a time I used to think that method pushed people to improve but in reality it can do just the opposite.

When you are always on the losing end and you get angry at yourself. You are more likely to flat out quit or develop a apathetic outlook on whatever new projects you undertake. This goes for relationships as well. Men and women alike who where always on the receiving end of a bad break up usually if not always have a very poor outlook on the next relationship and don’t put in what they should so they don’t get hurt. It’s a difficult thing to fix, but the first step always start with forgiving yourself in some way.

I feel this post was kind of all over the place (all the stories I read I wanted to address), but I was able to get out what I wanted to. To answer your questions about whether or not you are a loser, my answer is definitely not. Do your best to change what you don’t like, even if it feels hopeless. Take time away if you need to refresh your battery and get back to it. Never quit.

 

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Nice Guys: Do Supportive Women Exist?

Hello gang, after a month long hiatus on the nice guy blue print (been really busy starting up my business) I wanted to address a serious topic that had me well.. pretty much pissed off the entire afternoon. Now we know the people in the world can be an extremely cruel but what happens when it’s the people you actually rely on most that are the problem? In today’s post I want to address a few questions asked by the countless nice guys out there that are wondering.

“Do supportive women exist and if so where are they?

In my experiences and observations I will say that there are supportive women out there. HOWEVER, there seems to be a rather large catch. As long as your goals, needs, whatever is in line with hers. She will be there. The unfortunate news however is once those goals don’t meet with her lifestyle she may leave you high and dry.

Now of course you have your famous isolated incidents like Mechelle Obama sticking by her husband through thick and thin. However you need to remember we are talking about average women. Women who don’t look at the heart, soul, and dedication you have. They want to know what you can do for them right now as opposed  to what they are willing to stick through. In many professional debates I have almost always heard the women say “I can’t wait for a guy to get his act together.” and for most men that is an instant turn off. It shows selfishness and conceit. No man wants to drop their goals and dreams for a woman who is all about them.

In fact that mentality has cause such a rift between men and women that it’s almost impossible to from a genuine relationship because you don’t really know what the woman is after until she leaves. While I believe true love and real women are out there, I don’t want to kid you guys about your chances of finding it. I’m not saying date every chick that you can, because if you did it would mean you have no idea what you want in a woman. You know what you like, be her friend first and really listen to what she says and watch what she does. It’s very easy to read an individual. Just don’t be distracted by a pretty face, shapely body and sweet demeanor.

Always be yourself, and never be afraid to disagree with a view, opinion, of belief. Not to do so is trying to force yourself to fit into another person’s life and that should happen naturally. If you do this you can easily spot a supportive woman and treat them like they deserve. As for the others…who cares?

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Nice Guys: Is Money The Real Key To A Woman’s Heart?

They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is the key to a woman’s heart through your wallet? While some women may find it offensive to assume such a thing. Most if not all men wonder at some point in time of their relationships if they object of their affection only hangs around because of a strong financial base. So today I am going to shed some light on the subject since the question keeps popping up.

The Real Deal…

Sure some women like a good looking guy, most women like a guys that take charge, but all women love a man with money. Before you get ahead of this lesson let me say that a woman’s opinion on financially stable varies depending on the type of lady you are dealing with.

For example a woman that makes twenty grand a year and dates a man whom makes between thirty or forty per year may feel she’s hit the jackpot. Others may feel that’s simply too low.

So your next question is (if you are with someone) “Does she like me because of my income.” I am gonna be blunt and say yes it does play a bigger role than you may think.

Fun Facts…

I know some of the female readers are probably scowling at my entry but I assure you I am only trying to enlighten and educate the nice guys before they end up getting themselves hurt. Now whether or not you agree, you can’t beat scientific studies. The boys over in Austria have done a clinical study on what exactly attracts a woman to a man and this is what they found.

  • Money Can Buy Love : looks, personality, and treatment mean very little to a woman as long as the man has deep pockets. This means if you are the most grotesque creature on the planet but you have money to burn. It turns you into the catch of the day. How is this possible? It’s Magic.
  • Your Car Makes You Look Good: If you own a top of the line vehicle that actually increases you chances of scoring a babe. Yes it’s totally disgusting I know, but it’s a fact.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
  • Your Salary Increases Attraction: If your salary exceeds hers, then she will stick around for the long haul. In addition women are more likely to leave a man who has unexpectedly lost hos job. Yup… like rats fleeing a rapidly sinking ship.

All in all, it comes down to your wallet guys. If your pockets aren’t deep enough, you won’t get the time of day unless you have been blatantly lying to get into her pants (Which is pretty low).

Protect Yourself…

By now you are probably wondering exactly how you can filter out the real love interests from the fake ones. While there is no fool proof way to screen potential girlfriends/wives (cause lets face it women are extremely good at lying) I do have a few tips and tricks you can start using from now on to see where her real interests lay.

  1. Don’t Speak Of It: Never speak of your financial situations whether you hit the lotto or the IRS sent you a nasty letter in the mail. Remember you want this woman to get to know you, not your wallet.
  2. Business & Pleasure Don’t Mix: Never speak about what you do, where you do it, and how much you make doing it. If she knows what you do for a living, then she knows how much you make. You don’t want that to be the reason this woman stays or goes.
  3. Keep Financial Documents Hidden: From bonds to ATM receipts. You want to keep those things away from prying eyes, and wondering hands. I myself have caught women sneaking a peek at my ATM receipts since it tells you how much cash you have in your account.
  4. Don’t Be A Wheel Man: If you are riding high, make sure you don’t become an errand boy. In my experiences a lot of women call if they don’t have a ride somewhere. Those types of women should make you sick. Make sure they know there is a lot more to you than a ride.
  5. Keep Family & Friends In The Know: If she can’t get info from you than she will go to friends or family. Inform them that they are never to discuss what you do for a living. EVER. Feel free to tell them the reason, I am sure they will quickly understand.

There you have it guys. The ugly truth that is a key to a woman’s heart, and if I may I’d like to say. If you are a guy that uses money to get with a woman it may be time to wake up and realize that you are being used for your money, your car, and your status. It would probably be easier to have a prostitute in your life, because the risks are pretty much the same in the dating world (go figure huh?). To the ladies, if this is you method of finding Mr.Right I gotta say you should probably change your approach…immediately. Till next time guys.

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