Category Archives: employment

Nice Guys: Are You A Loser?

Hello everyone and welcome to November! I know it’s the last day of the month, but  give me a bit of a break here. I’ve been dealing with category 5 hurricanes, Thanks Giving with family, and life in general. Speaking of life in general I wanted to go ahead and discuss a very important topic. That topic is that question all of us ask our selves at some point in time.

“Am I a loser?

I’ve been reading the stories (way too many of them) and it makes me feel terrible that so many people are struggling with this question. Normally I have on that really sticks out in my mind but there are literally a handful that just make me wonder where these people are going to end up. Just know that if you feel like you are a loser this post is dedicated to you and your struggle and I hope it helps you in some kind of way.

Answering The Question

It’s never an easy question to answer, in fact it’s down right impossible because there is a part of you that is beyond bias and hates your guts. You see these kinds of questions pop up in one of two scenarios, bullying or self loathing. Neither of which are better than the other as they both lead to depression, isolation, apathy, and even suicide. The scenarios are tough to get through, and even tougher to identify and take action against. Are you being bullied or do you just hate yourself that much? Can it possibly be both?

Bullying:

Bullying has evolved over the past century from simple teasing at the play ground between children to indirect comments between adults. While children can be cruel, I’m afraid adults can be a bit more callous and cold especially in the kind of world we live in today. It’s not all rainbows and cupcakes out here. As an adult, boy friend, husband, etc so much is expected of us that when we don’t deliver we are deemed useless. The stigma of being a “nice guy” or “the 30 year old in their parent’s basement” all of these things can drive a person in these categories insane.

I think what people fail to realize is that we aren’t all given the same chances, even if we want to believe that it’s true. If you feel that everyone one has the same chance to be something go to a third world country and tell that starving kid to grow his or her own food,  go tell that homeless man on the street to get a job even though he is missing a leg, tell that guy in his parent’s basement to be somebody when he is trying is damnedest not to live a mediocre life.

It’s easy to tell others where their faults are, and what they should do. Until you step foot into their shoes. You can’t tell someone that is suffering that they will be fine until you go through that same pain. If you are one of those people that often make those comments, you should think about what you are saying and who you are effecting by saying it.

Self Loathing:

At some time or another I am sure we have all been hard on ourselves because of something. For some people it’s a bit more extreme then a simple internal berating. I personally still struggle with it because I am one of those guys that can’t stand to lose or get the short end of the stick. I used to always get down on myself about how I should of been faster, stronger, smarter, what ever. For a time I used to think that method pushed people to improve but in reality it can do just the opposite.

When you are always on the losing end and you get angry at yourself. You are more likely to flat out quit or develop a apathetic outlook on whatever new projects you undertake. This goes for relationships as well. Men and women alike who where always on the receiving end of a bad break up usually if not always have a very poor outlook on the next relationship and don’t put in what they should so they don’t get hurt. It’s a difficult thing to fix, but the first step always start with forgiving yourself in some way.

I feel this post was kind of all over the place (all the stories I read I wanted to address), but I was able to get out what I wanted to. To answer your questions about whether or not you are a loser, my answer is definitely not. Do your best to change what you don’t like, even if it feels hopeless. Take time away if you need to refresh your battery and get back to it. Never quit.

 

Tagged ,

Nice Guys: Money & It’s Effects On You.

Stemming from my last post, the topic of money has started to gain a bit of popularity as of late. Money has been on the minds of many (me included) over the past few days and the situations vary but the questions ultimately ask the exact same thing.

“Where is all the money and how can I get it?”

Money Has It’s Adverse Effects…

Money will forever be to root of your problems, even when you think it has absolutely nothing to do with it. Sure there will be those isolated incidents but the truth is those problems are far and between. It’s not until you really stop and think about it, that you realize money has a lot more control of your life than you care to admit.

It effects every aspect of your life and lets be clear. I mean every aspect that you can think of. Here is a small run down.

  • How you live: Let’s face it. Unless you live on an uninhabited island you need money to live normally. The less you have the worse your living conditions.
  • What you eat: TV dinners have their place in the world, but it you have money. Chances are you will be eating healthier meals instead of heavily processed foods.
  • What you do: Money is the difference between being a couch potatoes or the guy goes skiing every weekend. The difference between being a workaholic and someone who controls their leisure time.
  • Who you associate with: They say “Birds of a feather flock together.” and let me tell you it is 1000% true. It is no different with those with little or no money.
  • What you own: Although I am not a material individual, lack of money obviously controls what kind of car you drive, the kind of clothes you wear, and where you live.
  • Your health: Lack of money can be depressing…literally. Those that are struggling are probably dealing with poor health due to the stress over money. What’s worse is they can’t afford to be treated properly either due tot he lack of funds.
  • Your relationships: The difference of being single, and being with someone. In my last post I covered a very touchy topic concerning women, money, and you. Again it’s been proven, more money makes you more attractive. Unfortunate, but true.
  • What you think: Not having money is the difference between “Yes I can” and “No I can’t”. Pretty depressing I know.

By now I am sure you are seeing just how much money plays a role in your life and it’s not until you have a serious abundance of it that you are truly ever free from it.

What Can I Do To Get More?

  While I am by no means an expert at making money (because I am no billionaire) I do have over ten years experience in the topic. I have had my fair share of failures, success, and mediocre results. I won’t pretend to know it all (because lord knows there are so many wannabes) but I will tell you what I have learned thus far.

  • Pay Yourself: If you have an income (Job, Self Employment, Etc) try to pay yourself about 30% of it each time you get paid. The 70% can go to necessities while you keep the rest.
  • Dream Big: If you are looking to vastly improve your income, then you have to have a big vision of it. Reason being is because it’s actually something to work for versus something that becomes so insignificant that it’s no longer thought about.
  • Start Small: Take baby steps with whatever you start to undertake, whether it be a second job, business, whatever. It will get overwhelming if you try to do too much too fast. Create a pace that works for you and begin.
  • Actually Do Something: I have had my share of procrastination (and still do) and it’s so easy to sit and think about the who, why, what, where, and how. In fact it’s one of the biggest roadblocks and one of the hardest to get through. Do something everyday and you will see results.
  • Make Sure You Enjoy It: If you are going to make more money working a second or third job. You should probably make sure you enjoy it to some extent. Nothing says “I want to blow my brains out” like working at a job you absolutely hate… let alone two or three of them.
  • Leave Your Comfort Zone: It is scary as hell to take risks and do things you’ve never done, but you have to realize at some point in time to get something you’ve never had before. You need to do something you’ve never done as well.
  • Commit To It: It won’t happen if you are not dedicated. Plain and simple.

I won’t try to paint a pretty picture when it comes to increasing your income.It is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Some get lucky and see results faster but the majority of success stories are years in the making. It’s actually a statistical fact that if you spent 20 years trying to become a millionaire, and failed you would still be better off than a person working till they are 65yrs old getting ready to retire. Just a little food for thought.

Tagged , , , , ,

Nice Guys: Is Money The Real Key To A Woman’s Heart?

They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is the key to a woman’s heart through your wallet? While some women may find it offensive to assume such a thing. Most if not all men wonder at some point in time of their relationships if they object of their affection only hangs around because of a strong financial base. So today I am going to shed some light on the subject since the question keeps popping up.

The Real Deal…

Sure some women like a good looking guy, most women like a guys that take charge, but all women love a man with money. Before you get ahead of this lesson let me say that a woman’s opinion on financially stable varies depending on the type of lady you are dealing with.

For example a woman that makes twenty grand a year and dates a man whom makes between thirty or forty per year may feel she’s hit the jackpot. Others may feel that’s simply too low.

So your next question is (if you are with someone) “Does she like me because of my income.” I am gonna be blunt and say yes it does play a bigger role than you may think.

Fun Facts…

I know some of the female readers are probably scowling at my entry but I assure you I am only trying to enlighten and educate the nice guys before they end up getting themselves hurt. Now whether or not you agree, you can’t beat scientific studies. The boys over in Austria have done a clinical study on what exactly attracts a woman to a man and this is what they found.

  • Money Can Buy Love : looks, personality, and treatment mean very little to a woman as long as the man has deep pockets. This means if you are the most grotesque creature on the planet but you have money to burn. It turns you into the catch of the day. How is this possible? It’s Magic.
  • Your Car Makes You Look Good: If you own a top of the line vehicle that actually increases you chances of scoring a babe. Yes it’s totally disgusting I know, but it’s a fact.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
  • Your Salary Increases Attraction: If your salary exceeds hers, then she will stick around for the long haul. In addition women are more likely to leave a man who has unexpectedly lost hos job. Yup… like rats fleeing a rapidly sinking ship.

All in all, it comes down to your wallet guys. If your pockets aren’t deep enough, you won’t get the time of day unless you have been blatantly lying to get into her pants (Which is pretty low).

Protect Yourself…

By now you are probably wondering exactly how you can filter out the real love interests from the fake ones. While there is no fool proof way to screen potential girlfriends/wives (cause lets face it women are extremely good at lying) I do have a few tips and tricks you can start using from now on to see where her real interests lay.

  1. Don’t Speak Of It: Never speak of your financial situations whether you hit the lotto or the IRS sent you a nasty letter in the mail. Remember you want this woman to get to know you, not your wallet.
  2. Business & Pleasure Don’t Mix: Never speak about what you do, where you do it, and how much you make doing it. If she knows what you do for a living, then she knows how much you make. You don’t want that to be the reason this woman stays or goes.
  3. Keep Financial Documents Hidden: From bonds to ATM receipts. You want to keep those things away from prying eyes, and wondering hands. I myself have caught women sneaking a peek at my ATM receipts since it tells you how much cash you have in your account.
  4. Don’t Be A Wheel Man: If you are riding high, make sure you don’t become an errand boy. In my experiences a lot of women call if they don’t have a ride somewhere. Those types of women should make you sick. Make sure they know there is a lot more to you than a ride.
  5. Keep Family & Friends In The Know: If she can’t get info from you than she will go to friends or family. Inform them that they are never to discuss what you do for a living. EVER. Feel free to tell them the reason, I am sure they will quickly understand.

There you have it guys. The ugly truth that is a key to a woman’s heart, and if I may I’d like to say. If you are a guy that uses money to get with a woman it may be time to wake up and realize that you are being used for your money, your car, and your status. It would probably be easier to have a prostitute in your life, because the risks are pretty much the same in the dating world (go figure huh?). To the ladies, if this is you method of finding Mr.Right I gotta say you should probably change your approach…immediately. Till next time guys.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Nice Guys: Dating At The Work Place

I’ve been browsing the questions a good portion of them begin with “There’s this girl I work with.” and I already know where this is going. Guys (and girls who read this) there are places that you simply don’t tread when it comes to trying to form a deep and meaningful relationship. One of those places is at work!

Most people often tend to make their place of work their main social outlet, when this happens it soon becomes a place to hook up. I am sure you have heard the old saying “Never mix business with pleasure.” Well today i am going to go over in great detail why you should stick to this motto the next time you think it might be a good idea to hook up with someone at work.

The Business End

Everyday before you go to work, you get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, take a shower, put on clothes, and dawn your business persona. Throughout your work day you go to great lengths to be as professional as humanly possible.  However there are a ton of obstacles in the work places specifically designed to break down that no nonsense mask you put on every day. Let’s go through them.

  • Social Butterflies: These men and women LOVE to chat and plan after work interactions. Technically harmless but can be an opener to the next group.
  • Gossipers: These people have nothing better to do than to talk about everyone behind their backs. They have the latest “scoops” and if you’ve been talking to the social butterflies often chances are they have a little dirt on you too.
  • Saboteurs: Don’t laugh because there are people you work with that want nothing more than seeing out out on your ass. These people usually stalk you quietly throughout the day to get as much dirt on you as possible to get you fired. They will even seek help of gossipers to do so.
  • Bosses: These guys are there to protect their investments. NOTHING MORE. These guys/girls are not your friend and probably never will be unless they are trying to get in your pants.

Bringing It All Together…

So how do these groups come into play when it comes to dating at the work place? I am so glad you asked! You see the more socially open you become the more interest you will gain with the opposite sex. From that point the gossipers start chattering about those interested in you, and will even encourage the union between you two.

This news will spread like wild fire in the span of 24 hours guaranteed. From this point the saboteurs will keep a close eye on you to see what they can use against you. Once the bosses hear about the news even they will start to watch you like a hawk, then you can expect to be called into offices, strange work duties, and other things that should be a red flag to you.

Hazards Of The Relationship.

Oh you thought I was telling you not to date at work because of your colleagues? No! That was only a warm up my friend, the real reasons start here!

  • Constant Interaction: Let’s face it too much interaction in today’s society is actually a bad thing. People get bored, feel trapped, etc. On top of that you’re at work! Why put up with the hassle?
  • Everyone Knows: Not only does everyone know you date, but if things go bad they now know about those really private things you haven’t told anyone.
  • Women Cheat: Yes yes I know what you are gonna say men cheat too, but it’s a statistical fact women cheat with co workers. I know from experience as well. Now you have to deal with a cheating partner, a douche-bag co worker, and the normal grind of your job. FUN FUN!
  • Distractions: A partner at the work place is a HUGE distraction, you don’t perform at your best, and people are watching even when you think they are not.
  • Ta Da! You’re Unemployed: Conflicts, lack of performance, and distractions screws with everyone’s money. Yours, your partners, and your boss’s. The only remedy to this issue to fire certain individuals. Namely you. Women are usually warned, but guys are normally fired outright(Yes that is a statistical fact).

Finishing Up

There you have it, these are just some of the major hazards when dealing with love at the work place. Nine of out ten it simply is not worth the effort or the time. In addition you could end up losing a lot more than just a failed relationship, you will be losing money and employment if you are not careful.

Keep a professional demeanor at work, if the ladies take notice that’s all fine and dandy but make sure it does not go anywhere. No relationship, casual sex, or prolonged conversations. It is simply not worth it.

Tagged , , , , , ,