Category Archives: assertive

The Ugly Truth Behind Sexual Harassment

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Hello everyone. It’s been a while (actually one full year!) since my last post and many people are probably wondering what’s been up. To keep it short and simple this blog is a hobby and a passion of mine I constantly have to put aside. However this year I want to dedicate more time to this blog and view it more as a business that I want to cultivate and grow other than something I just do when I feel like ranting. Having said that you guys (and girls) can expect regular content from now on, although I have not yet decided on the scheduling. This year is going to address a lot of topics that are going to be even more beneficial then last years, and will keep you safe in the land of women. In today’s topic I want to uncover a hidden truth behind sexual harassment that many men simply don’t know about.

Sexual Harassment & Feminism.

Sexual harassment is described as an unwanted or uninvited verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature. In all respects it’s a pretty serious crime and can be socially crippling to individuals that are found guilty of this crime. Now most of us have already been taught what accounts as sexual harassment, be it from work, school, or that one white knight friend you have. However what most of us don’t know is that feminism is trying to weaponize sexual harassment by changing it’s definition and even by adopting sub terms such as “Street Harassment”. Which is a made up term created by feminist groups to further the agenda of a female ruled society. According to these groups street harassment is “any action or comment between strangers in public places that is deemed disrespectful, unwelcome, threatening and/or harassing and is motivated by gender or sexual orientation or gender expression.”

So why is this bullshit?

Well for starters this is based purely off opinion. Meaning I can accuse someone of harassment because I’m in a crappy mood even if the interaction was positive. Secondly this is how 99% of couples meet the other 1% is arranged. Their boyfriends and husbands approached them in public and formed a relationship from there. Since the beginning of time men have almost always been the initiators when it comes to meeting the opposite sex. Now for some reason it’s become a major issue for women but what exactly is that issue? The truth may not shock you at all.

The Truth Of It All.

The truth of the matter is women love being approached, but they hate being approached by the average every day man.  Watch any of the widely popular street harassment videos and look at the caliber of men that are approaching these women. All of them are low status males, horribly dressed, obese, etc and unfortunately for women this is the norm. Replace those guys with athletic and well dressed men and not a single woman would complain. Street harassment is nothing more than a double standard designed to discourage the average male from approaching women. While a bold move it’s ultimately proved to be a pretty stupid one considering more and more men are getting wise to idiotic movements feminist groups are trying to push on to an already female friendly society. Don’t fall for these tactics fellas, until next time.

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Top 5 Guaranteed Ways To Increase Your Success With Any Woman

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Although it’s  late Happy New Year everyone, I hope you all are entering the new year in good spirits. I want to go ahead and start 2015 off on the right foot and what better way than to give you guys some highly guarded tips on how to improve your relations with any woman. Whether you are 15 or 51, you can apply these methods immediately and even get results the same day. Keep in mind these are the things dating coaches charge you up to $3,000 to learn and no I’m not kidding. So put your wallets away because The Nice Guy has got you covered.

Become High Maintenance

This one seems pretty easy but it’s pretty difficult. It’s important to keep your body in tip top shape. Looking and feeling good is naturally attractive to all women so keep yourself clean, fit, and dressed relatively well. If you have clothes that don’t compliment your frame you should throw them away, if you aren’t confident about your body then exercise, and it doesn’t stop there. Start viewing yourself under a microscope, keep track of anything you don’t like and make a real effort to correct them.

Draw A Line In The Sand

Setting boundaries is important in all aspects of life, but it’s extremely important when dealing with women who are currently or want to be in your life. This is because women love to test a man’s resolve and see just how much of a pushover he really is. Confront her when she crosses a line and be clear about your expectations in the future. Doing this commands respect and will put the woman in a more passive or submissive position when she interacts with you.

There Can Be More Than One

Women know they have you wrapped around their finger when you treat them like they are the last living female in existence. 99.9% of men are horribly guilty of this and for some odd reason continue to behave in this manner. Good looking women are a dime a dozen, if you pass one on the street a few minutes later you will see another. Subtle ways to let a woman in your life know she’s not all that is by checking out other women, chatting, flirting, making comments. Now you may have heard that women hate it when men they know check out other women and it’s true. That’s because their attention is being given to someone else. Use that to your advantage.

Be Decisive All The Time

A man should always know what he wants to do in any given situation. Now a days you have what I like to call the “Shruggers”, you know. The kind of guy that gets asked a question and their reply is a shoulder shrug and a “I don’t know”, I don’t care” or “It’s up to you”. It’s an extremely bad habit that most men have adopted over the last few decades and it not only kills a woman’s natural attraction to you but it’s a strong sign that you lack self confidence in your actions. I’m actually willing to bet that if you are an indecisive male you have your fair share of controlling and overbearing women in your life. Ring a bell?

Learn To Say No

With all the feminist upbringing I know for a fact all men reading this have the damnedest time saying no to women when it comes to anything. Let me tell you the biggest secret in the world right now. Saying “No” to a woman drives them crazy. Why? Simply because they are not used to being turned away by males. Learning to say no gives you all the power in the world when it comes to any woman in your life be in your girlfriend, friend, sex buddy, even your own mother. This is by far the hardest tip to learn and will take some serious time to learn. To help you learn this faster I recommend reading No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A Glover. I guarantee while you are reading it you will feel as if the author made this book specifically for you.

I have no doubts that doing the things listed above will immediately increase your success with women in general. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man that can’t be manipulated, is well kept and isn’t afraid to walk away from a pretty face. The man that isn’t swayed by the influences of women is the man that can have any woman he chooses. I like that because it’s so true. Until next time guys.

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Nice Guys : The Rape Culture Hype & Your Role In It

 

Alright nice guys this is a bit of a rant/educational/guide post here. I’m a little pissed off here and I want to go ahead and take the time before I begin my rant to address to my readers that they might see some strong language. Having said that let’s go ahead and get this show on the road.

The History Lesson:

Rape culture isn’t something new and if you’re the type of individual that tends to live your life instead of living in the media world chances are you’ve never heard of it until recently. In short rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to a culture of society that normalizes, condones , tolerates and excuses rape. This concept has been around since the 1970’s and is often used by feminists to describe the American culture as a whole.

My Problem With This:

In wake of the Isla Vista incident activists decided this would be a great tool in which to teach individuals about the “War on Women” (Yes i put it in quotes because I feel it’s bullshit). This unfortunate incident sparked the #YesAllWomen twitter campaign, a slew of women’s rights articles, etc. Now this was all well and good until I somehow became part of the rape culture problem, oh and you (providing you have a penis) are part of the problem as well! Allow me to explain.

A couple of days ago I came across an article on the Huffington Post titled : A Gentleman’s Guide To Rape Culture and what I read was basically an insult to any self respecting individual with a penis. Now the author explains that all men perpetuates rape culture. How is this possible? Well it’s because you have a penis, that one point alone puts you in the pool with the sick and demented bastards out there that actually pray on people. Screw the fact that you haven’t ever touched anyone let alone a woman in a sexual way without their consent. Hell the fact you have no past history of sexual violence or even a police record still doesn’t excuse you from playing a vital role in rape culture.

The author proceeds to explain that as a man he has the freedom to go anywhere he wants without the worry of being attacked and women feel the opposite. Last time I checked women had the freedom to rape children, claim a man’s assets, and physically assault a man without paying any serious consequences, but I digress. Then he recommends that men use clear body language and act in a way to minimize her fear of being attacked. Yes you need to move and act in a certain way so that any woman you happen to pass doesn’t feel threatened. Oh…my…God. Can I buy whatever drugs this guy is on? This is feminist brainwashing at it’s best but my problem with this doesn’t end here.

Earlier I mentioned the Isla Vista incident and it sparking activist actions like #YesAllWomen and other media. The problem with this is that the foundation of all this action is based on misinformation! Now those attacks took the lives of 4 men, 2 women and the killer as well. Nobody wins in that situation but it’s been turned into some sort of attack against women specifically. I’m not excusing Elliot Rodger’s behavior but the fact is this guy was physically, mentally & emotionally abused by his peers, there is video and documentation proving these facts. However the news and the media focused on his hang ups with women. Anyone else remember the news bringing up the 4 guys that where killed during this whole thing? Yeah me either…

So what happens is activists start speaking about how this is a war against women and that American culture is a rape culture. We went from a violent crime against both genders to a war against women to America being a society that advocates rape. What!? Hell we had Miss USA bring up a brilliant idea of learning self defense to address college rape and she was considered an idiot. Far be it from all these women who are scared shitless of being raped to have the tools to prevent it. How dare she. “Men should just not rape” I shit you not, that is an actual response.

A Real Guide To Rape Culture For Men:

You guys want to know what you should do with all this crap about rape culture? Here are my top recommendations:

  1. Don’t buy into media hype or get involved with social media bullshit. Not only is it riddled with false information it has a habit of brainwashing you into believing that somehow you (as a man) are the problem. If you take an interest in a story on social media look into the facts yourself! I still find it amazing that Elliot Rodger’s rampage is being passed off as War On Women. Get the facts straight people.
  2. Don’t apologize for being a man. You were born with a penis, congratulations! Don’t ever consider it some kind of badge of shame. Yes there are bad men out there but you know what there are diabolical women out here as well.
  3. Don’t Take Responsibility for another person’s hangups. You know everyone is scared of something, it’s part of being human. As a man I can definitely tell you  in the back of my mind I’m afraid of being wrongfully attacked by the police, but it would be stupid of me to tell all cops to approach me with their hands raised. If you are so scared of something to the effect of being socially paralyzed then you need professional help. Take the steps to get over it.
  4. Remember we live in a feminine society. Although equality is the theme any man knows good and well women have the advantage. It’s a sad day when it comes down to men having to video tape themselves being attacked by women so they can avoid going to jail.
  5. Just say no to drugs & a large portion of alcohol. 57% of rapes apparently happen on dates and75% of men & 55% of women were drinking or taking drugs before the attack. Understand what I’m saying? Good. Ease off the booze, LSD, weed, whatever the hell you kids are taking these days. Also It’s OK to say no to women who may throw themselves at you in a drunken or drug filled stupor. I’ve done it more times and I can tell you I don’t regret any of those choices because chances are it probably kept me out of jail.
  6. Violence Against Anyone Is Wrong. Let’s take a moment here and realize violence against any human being is wrong. Men, women, & children are at risk of being attacked in some way. No one is immune! Let’s get rid of the notion that some how women are the only ones that have targets painted on their backs.

Alright people that’s my rant for today until next time be safe, keep your wits about you, and keep your guard up! As always feel free to comment, rate, like, share, & spread the word! This is definitely one of the most important topics for men of all ages to discuss. Thanks for reading.

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Nice Guys : The Benjamin Franklin Effect

Nice guys! How do you get a woman in which you are attracted to like you? Do you give them lots of attention? Treat them out to dinner? Shower them with gifts? Always pay for the bill? How often have you gone that extra mile for someone only to have it blow up in your face later on? What if I told you there was a fool proof way to properly gauge a woman’s genuine affection for you without you putting yourself in too much of a compromising position? Well wish no more nice guys I have just that for you today. This technique is called “The Benjamin Franklin Effect” and is today’s topic of discussion. Today you are going to discover how to use this effect to your advantage and see whether the object of your affection is even worth your time.

So what is this effect and why should I care?

The Benjamin Franklin Effect (BFE) is a psychological finding that says that a person who has invested an effort into another person is more likely to invest even more into that same person. So what does this mean? Think about every time you’ve treated a woman you like out to dinner, paid the bill, gave her gifts. Your initial investment into that person will usually lead to another investment. Which means more dates, fancy gifts, or favors for that person in addition you becoming even more attracted to them.

How does this help me with women?

Glad you asked nice guy! Now that you know the principles of the B.F.E, you can now compare and contrast your level of investment and hers.  If you find yourself investing where your woman isn’t you know for a fact that her attraction to you isn’t there. This saves you a lot of wasted time, money, and energy in the dating game and can even help you land a real catch quicker.

The method isn’t difficult and you don’t even have to change your current approach. All you need to do is pay attention to her actions to gauge her level of investment. However nice guys I feel I must warn a few of you when it comes to effectively gauging a woman’s investment in you. In no way, shape, or form should you take any kind of physical contact as an investment. Hugs, pecks on the cheek and even sex can are often misconstrued by the gullible.

True investments are her picking up the tab, getting you a gift, or even taking you out… Basically anything you’d do for her. Now while you may say “Well these things aren’t exactly what a woman should do for me.” allow me to drag you out of the 1950’s and into the magical world of equality. There may be some extremely old fashion women out there (never met one but hey) however I doubt you’ll have one that likes you and not do something for you just because. Keep in mind the B.F.E isn’t only for gauging a woman’s affections to you but it also works on friendships, family, even work related relationships. It may just change the way you interact with everyone around you. Enjoy nice guys.

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Nice Guys: Are You A Loser?

Hello everyone and welcome to November! I know it’s the last day of the month, but  give me a bit of a break here. I’ve been dealing with category 5 hurricanes, Thanks Giving with family, and life in general. Speaking of life in general I wanted to go ahead and discuss a very important topic. That topic is that question all of us ask our selves at some point in time.

“Am I a loser?

I’ve been reading the stories (way too many of them) and it makes me feel terrible that so many people are struggling with this question. Normally I have on that really sticks out in my mind but there are literally a handful that just make me wonder where these people are going to end up. Just know that if you feel like you are a loser this post is dedicated to you and your struggle and I hope it helps you in some kind of way.

Answering The Question

It’s never an easy question to answer, in fact it’s down right impossible because there is a part of you that is beyond bias and hates your guts. You see these kinds of questions pop up in one of two scenarios, bullying or self loathing. Neither of which are better than the other as they both lead to depression, isolation, apathy, and even suicide. The scenarios are tough to get through, and even tougher to identify and take action against. Are you being bullied or do you just hate yourself that much? Can it possibly be both?

Bullying:

Bullying has evolved over the past century from simple teasing at the play ground between children to indirect comments between adults. While children can be cruel, I’m afraid adults can be a bit more callous and cold especially in the kind of world we live in today. It’s not all rainbows and cupcakes out here. As an adult, boy friend, husband, etc so much is expected of us that when we don’t deliver we are deemed useless. The stigma of being a “nice guy” or “the 30 year old in their parent’s basement” all of these things can drive a person in these categories insane.

I think what people fail to realize is that we aren’t all given the same chances, even if we want to believe that it’s true. If you feel that everyone one has the same chance to be something go to a third world country and tell that starving kid to grow his or her own food,  go tell that homeless man on the street to get a job even though he is missing a leg, tell that guy in his parent’s basement to be somebody when he is trying is damnedest not to live a mediocre life.

It’s easy to tell others where their faults are, and what they should do. Until you step foot into their shoes. You can’t tell someone that is suffering that they will be fine until you go through that same pain. If you are one of those people that often make those comments, you should think about what you are saying and who you are effecting by saying it.

Self Loathing:

At some time or another I am sure we have all been hard on ourselves because of something. For some people it’s a bit more extreme then a simple internal berating. I personally still struggle with it because I am one of those guys that can’t stand to lose or get the short end of the stick. I used to always get down on myself about how I should of been faster, stronger, smarter, what ever. For a time I used to think that method pushed people to improve but in reality it can do just the opposite.

When you are always on the losing end and you get angry at yourself. You are more likely to flat out quit or develop a apathetic outlook on whatever new projects you undertake. This goes for relationships as well. Men and women alike who where always on the receiving end of a bad break up usually if not always have a very poor outlook on the next relationship and don’t put in what they should so they don’t get hurt. It’s a difficult thing to fix, but the first step always start with forgiving yourself in some way.

I feel this post was kind of all over the place (all the stories I read I wanted to address), but I was able to get out what I wanted to. To answer your questions about whether or not you are a loser, my answer is definitely not. Do your best to change what you don’t like, even if it feels hopeless. Take time away if you need to refresh your battery and get back to it. Never quit.

 

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Nice Guys: How To Stop Being A Door Mat

Last post I went off on a small rant about people who kind of just lay down and allow people to walk over them. Specifically nice guys who get taken advantage of by certain women who aren’t worth a piece of paper blowing in the wind. If you happen to be one of those guys that get stepped on I am going to start giving you a few hints and tips to start reclaiming your dignity.

Back Bone 101:

If you consider yourself a door mat there is no doubt that you are desperately lacking confidence. Our job today is to get some ideas rolling in your head so that we can build that up asap. Here are some things I recommend you start doing immediately.

  • Start Saying No: Contrary to popular belief saying “yes” to everything isn’t going to magically make your life better. In fact saying yes usually enables people to take advantage of you. Try this exercise the next time you find yourself being asked to do something you don’t want to do. Respectfully decline, if you don’t want to sound like an ass the best thing you can do is simply decline with a “no sorry”.
  • Say It With Ya Chest!: Project your voice when you speak, don’t be timid, shy, and looking down at your feet. When you put some base in your voice people tend to take you a little more seriously than they normally would.
  • Take Self Defense: No I am not saying take a class so you can kick the crap out of someone(unless the situation calls…). Self defense builds lots confidence that can take years to really muster up by yourself.

Advance Assertiveness

I know I know. What about those people that keep nagging until you simply give in. This is where you get a little tougher in your declines, you see here are a few good things to do when dealing with people who won’t take no for an answer.

  • Because I Said So!: I get it, saying no isn’t enough sometimes. This is when you add in the word “Because”. Using this word along with whatever reason you want. It will cut the request short.
  • Repeat The Same Thing: Sometimes people are to dense to understand no for the first time. So what you do is repeat yourself (remember to use your excuse as well) when the request is asked. Repeating your decision will usually deter them from asking again.
  • Stay Neutral: Keep a straight face, don’t show anger, don’t show that you are bothered, etc. You keep a straight face until you got your point across.

Are They Starting To Piss You Off Yet?

What? You thought that was the end of the lesson? Let me tell you something, there are people out there that you are going to want to beat with a brick. If you are dealing with these kinds of people then you should seriously consider doing the following.

  • Create Distance: As annoying as this person is, chances are your about ready to beat his/her ass anyway. So you might as well create some distance between you two. If you live with em, depending on the situation kick em out or get out. If it’s your boss keep your interactions short and sweet. Friends? Make some new ones and limit your time with the trouble maker.
  • Voice Your Opinion: Nothing wrong with telling someone that there pissing you off and they might want to back off a bit. Not many people likes getting physical and if you are one of those types. Voice your opinion and leave. This will give the person or persons something to think about.

Life is too short to be used, manipulated, and stepped on by people that aint worth a damn. The first time may be difficult, but trust me after you start saying no, standing up for yourself, and not backing down for the first time. It’s gonna feel good, you might even get butterflies, hell you may even have an adrenaline rush. The point is it will feel great, because you know you don’t have to put up with anyone’s crap. Start putting these things into action today.

In closing I want you guys to know I am one of the nicest people on the planet, but I absolutely will not hesitate to tell someone off. I have flipped off bosses, I have kicked friends out of my house, I have insulted perfect strangers all in the name of standing up for myself. There are just moments in your life where people will try to take advantage and make you look like a punk. If you let that happen you will be dealing with it all your life.