Nice Guys: Do Supportive Women Exist?

Hello gang, after a month long hiatus on the nice guy blue print (been really busy starting up my business) I wanted to address a serious topic that had me well.. pretty much pissed off the entire afternoon. Now we know the people in the world can be an extremely cruel but what happens when it’s the people you actually rely on most that are the problem? In today’s post I want to address a few questions asked by the countless nice guys out there that are wondering.

“Do supportive women exist and if so where are they?

In my experiences and observations I will say that there are supportive women out there. HOWEVER, there seems to be a rather large catch. As long as your goals, needs, whatever is in line with hers. She will be there. The unfortunate news however is once those goals don’t meet with her lifestyle she may leave you high and dry.

Now of course you have your famous isolated incidents like Mechelle Obama sticking by her husband through thick and thin. However you need to remember we are talking about average women. Women who don’t look at the heart, soul, and dedication you have. They want to know what you can do for them right now as opposed  to what they are willing to stick through. In many professional debates I have almost always heard the women say “I can’t wait for a guy to get his act together.” and for most men that is an instant turn off. It shows selfishness and conceit. No man wants to drop their goals and dreams for a woman who is all about them.

In fact that mentality has cause such a rift between men and women that it’s almost impossible to from a genuine relationship because you don’t really know what the woman is after until she leaves. While I believe true love and real women are out there, I don’t want to kid you guys about your chances of finding it. I’m not saying date every chick that you can, because if you did it would mean you have no idea what you want in a woman. You know what you like, be her friend first and really listen to what she says and watch what she does. It’s very easy to read an individual. Just don’t be distracted by a pretty face, shapely body and sweet demeanor.

Always be yourself, and never be afraid to disagree with a view, opinion, of belief. Not to do so is trying to force yourself to fit into another person’s life and that should happen naturally. If you do this you can easily spot a supportive woman and treat them like they deserve. As for the others…who cares?

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14 thoughts on “Nice Guys: Do Supportive Women Exist?

  1. rebecca2000 says:

    See…dude. Okay so lets say you were dating me. I am smart, funny, and if you were dating me you might say I was beautiful. Lets say your goals were to be a good guy, caring, loving and we painted a beautiful picture. Would you be supportive of me only if your goals lined up with mine?
    My goals would be to rob banks so I could be a millionarie.
    To support killing all children that used the public health system etc….

    My point is EVERYONE supports goals unless they go against the grain.

    I can tell you that I am the most easy going loving person. I don’t nag. I don’t yell. I don’t call names. For that matter many people have gotten feelings for me because they see it. Nice guys do find the right girls just keep looking and don’t forget that we are just humans too.

    😉 Good luck.

    x,
    Becca

    • Hi Rebecca,

      If we were dating I can assure you that I would support all your goals providing they where sane and legal. My point is that women usually want their partner’s goals to be complete and also aren’t usually willing to go through the process until completion.

      While I can’t speak for all men, none of those I know would consider their partner’s lack of completed goals a deal breaker of sorts. It’s something that down right sucks, but I can only call it like myself and other guys see it. I know there are some women that have no problem being supportive it’s just that they are in short supply.

      • rebecca2000 says:

        But see that is what I am saying. It isn’t women either. You date shallow women you get shallow women. I know for sure that I would never judge someone on working on goals. Either way I am sure you’re a great guy.

      • That’s the problem. While we may look deeper than the surface. Society has actually conditioned individuals to be more materialistic and self serving so to speak.

        I can only define a woman who looks at the heart and not the wallet a real woman. I can only say that I am happy to be having intellectual debate with you now. Now if only we could clone a few million of women like you I think we would be alright.

      • rebecca2000 says:

        LOL Thanks I am enjoying it too. If you look into the science of sexuality women almost always go for the best provider, even they try not to be materialistic. The facts are that instincutally we are still cavewomen. As men are cavemen. Ever notice how men like to date up? I have set men up on blind dates. Every time I try to set them up with people that are about the same level in looks and intelect. I swear, every time if the guy is below a 7 he gets fussy if the woman is. Plus, care to guess how many married 50 year old men hit on me? I got a phone call from a wife this weekend about it. I didn’t encourage it. I wasn’t interested but he made it very clear.

        I think the truely evolved human are those that can go outside of their cave roots. I never cared how much someone made. That is because I know I am perfectly capable of providing for myself, though I am not to proud to be a stay at home wife or mother. Money does make life easy but love is the only thing that makes life better.

        No cloning me, can’t have too many practically perfect people running around. 😉

        x,
        Becca

  2. I don’t think this is an entirely fair assessment. The goal-supporting has to be mutual.

    Say person A and person B have a mutually supportive relationship and person A wants to sell their car to open a coffee shop. Person B may be supportive of opening a coffee shop – but not of selling the car because the car is needed to take the kids to school and selling it would put undue burden on person B.

    Person B’s lack of support isn’t in and of itself a cause for breakup, but if Person A decides to do what he/she wants anyway (knowing it will be detrimental), then Person B as a reason to move on and Person A has no right to be upset.

    • Hi Book Wheel,

      I admit goal support is definitely a two way street. In my post I am referring directly to financial and career related goals. Where a woman will have her degree and her profession of choice while her mate may not. There is an absurdly high chance she will leave or keep her options open for someone who is where she is now (financially).

      In my experiences this does not happen with guys and their partners, they are supportive regardless. I know it’s touch and can seem lopsided in assessment when it comes to all kinds of goals but I am getting my information from studies done when it comes to financial goals. I do wish both sexes could just melt together but women and men are selfish in certain categories.

      • I guess I disagree because I have a degree and am getting my Master’s but my husband does not, nor does he plan to. I married him because he’s a good guy and works hard and I love him, not because his career is in a skilled trade.

        That said, confidence goes a long way. If someone feels insecure because they didn’t get their degree (for example), their insecurity will likely be a bigger problem than the degree itself.

      • You disagree because you do something that the rest don’t. You are looking at the person and not the possessions. The true definition of a loving partner in my opinion and I salute you for it. If the world had more women like you I think every man would be a happy one.

        Confidence is a bit tricky due to feminism’s definition of what it means to be a man. These kinds of women usually if not always define a man by his status rather than his character. So men today often feel inadequate when they don’t measure up.

      • Well that’s just a darned shame! I do know women like that, but I choose not to spend time with them. In the end, it’s all about luck – you can’t make yourself meet the right person, you just have to be in the right place at the right time and have the presence of mind to know it.

  3. there’s a difference between the incompletion of goals and the lack of goals. the latter is intolerable as it’s a character flaw. the incompletion of goals is only tolerable if the goals are realistic and the necessary steps fueled by drive, passion, and tenacity have been and are taking place. if a woman won’t stand by you in this case, then she most likely doesn’t have pure motives. women don’t need wealth, they need the drive that is associated with it.

    • Hi Comp, while i agree having no direction is intolerable and no one should consider a relationship if they have those kind of problems. I agree that those certain women with less than pure motives are the issue, but we tend to run into them way too often.

  4. I can see were you’re coming from with this one, kinda.
    Although I don’t think it’s fair to just blame woman for the whole not being supportive thing, but it does seem as if they’re might be a bit of stigma for a man who wants to do his own thing.

    If I, being a woman and all, wanted to ‘do my own thing’ and follow my dreams and what have ya, I have no doubt that I would be praised for being independent, a woman with a brain and direction. But if a man were to do that it would be seen as selfish because it’s deemed that men should automatically have the career, the friends and the life experience without actually leaving the house just because well, they’re men! which of course is unfair and completely untrue.

    And obviously one could argue that if it were love and all that then it wouldn’t matter if people went they’re own way because they would eventually find each other through fate, which I think we all appreciate is probably not the most viable of plans!

    I wouldn’t agree that woman are unsupportive but definitely say that we’re living in a world where both men and woman are finding ways to be more and more selfish, for both the good and the bad!

    Love your posts by the way, nice to see a male perspective of us whining woman. Sorry for the essay!

    x

    • Hi Ms. Alexandra,

      Thank you very much for your input as I totally agree with your point. I don’t want my post to give you or any other ladies the wrong idea. My post is directly related to goals of financial nature.

      In the past few years more women actually consider a man with incomplete goals (even if they are well on their way to being completed) a deal breaker for a relationship. When it comes to men in the same situation, it would not effect their choice to be in a relationship.

      I found it to be a strange statistic but that mental trend is on the rise with women. That scares the crap out of nice guys that are looking to improve their lives financially. It adds unwanted pressure wondering if the woman that keeps you sane is going to up and leave one day because of it.

      In addition it scares guys because if they left because of a career move. They begin to wonder “Did they love me at all?” Both sexes seem to have their stigmas and misconceptions and I wish they would just shut up, kiss and live happily ever after.

      By the way I love long comments! Thanks again.

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