Nice Guys: To Marry Or Not To Marry?

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 Hello to all my favorite readers out there and welcome to August’s first post. I would like to discuss/rant about marriage this evening.  Now before I get on with this rant I would like to say that I really did believe in marriage at one time but my views on it have changed and it may turn some of you off. There I warned you!

Jerry asks:

My girlfriend and i are taking about getting married. We have a year old daughter but I’m not sure about marriage. I feel like she only wants to get married because of our daughter and i don’t thing that is a reason to get married. She told me that’s not true we have been together for 5 years and she needs me to to show how much i am committed to her and prove that i love her. She said she feels like i think of her as nothing more than my girlfriend and mother of my child. I love her but i don’t know if marriage is right it’s a big commitment. I understand her with the years and all but i don’t know if I’m ready for marriage. Should we get married or not?”

 In my personal opinion it sounds like if you where to get married tomorrow you would probably pull your hair out. Marriage is a very big step in both of your lives and I feel if both people really love each other than why not?

However I am just not getting that from you currently. I am going to give you some things to really consider when it comes to getting hitched.

Consider for just a moment…

  1. Ten Years From Now: If you can see yourself with your current partner 10 years from now than that is a good sign for you both to get hitched, however if it all seems fuzzy than I am going to have to say that you shouldn’t tie that knot.
  2. Your Reasoning: Let’s face it. Your reasons for getting hitched determine how long you will be together. If all you have are “She won’t get off my back about it.” Then you won’t get past the first year. Being pressured into anything let alone marriage is a recipe for disaster.
  3. What’s In It For You?: I have to be honest. There is absolutely NO
    benefit for men to get married today. I mean you need to realize whether it works out or not that she gets half of everything you own. You have the option of either breaking even or losing half of what you have.
  4. It’s 50/50: I don’t mean sharing your assets I mean there’s a 50/50 chance it wont work out. What I try to teach anyone I can is that people change their minds every day. Especially women! One day you might be the apple of their eye then the next day you are absolutely nobody and if you have a penis and are reading this right now. You know exactly what I am talking about. Are you willing to go through that?
  5. It’s Expensive: Weddings are freaking expensive. In fact if it was up to the guys, they would get two rings from a prize machine, hire a minister and call it a day. However it has to be this giant spectacle with tons of guests,food, fancy gowns, and theatrics. I was one of the groomsmen in a friends wedding and I had to dance down the isle with one of the brides maids. Both ridiculous and embarrassing but It was for my a good friend. If you are already kind of on a tight budget a ceremony WILL put you in the red.

I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade but I do hope that you can really think about the five points and really see if marriage is the thing for you. Sure it looks and sounds nice in a day dream but the fact of the matter is it’s a serious step in someone’s life. Doing it for all the wrong reasons is just going to ruin the true meaning of it for you.

I personally would love to tie the knot one day because I love the woman I am with and because she loves me too. For me marriage is going to be a one time thing, once I’m married I am staying that way and if for some reason I get divorced than that is all there is to it. It’s just like true love you only get the real experience once everything after that is just a cheap imitation.

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