Monthly Archives: August 2012

Nice Guys: Money & It’s Effects On You.

Stemming from my last post, the topic of money has started to gain a bit of popularity as of late. Money has been on the minds of many (me included) over the past few days and the situations vary but the questions ultimately ask the exact same thing.

“Where is all the money and how can I get it?”

Money Has It’s Adverse Effects…

Money will forever be to root of your problems, even when you think it has absolutely nothing to do with it. Sure there will be those isolated incidents but the truth is those problems are far and between. It’s not until you really stop and think about it, that you realize money has a lot more control of your life than you care to admit.

It effects every aspect of your life and lets be clear. I mean every aspect that you can think of. Here is a small run down.

  • How you live: Let’s face it. Unless you live on an uninhabited island you need money to live normally. The less you have the worse your living conditions.
  • What you eat: TV dinners have their place in the world, but it you have money. Chances are you will be eating healthier meals instead of heavily processed foods.
  • What you do: Money is the difference between being a couch potatoes or the guy goes skiing every weekend. The difference between being a workaholic and someone who controls their leisure time.
  • Who you associate with: They say “Birds of a feather flock together.” and let me tell you it is 1000% true. It is no different with those with little or no money.
  • What you own: Although I am not a material individual, lack of money obviously controls what kind of car you drive, the kind of clothes you wear, and where you live.
  • Your health: Lack of money can be depressing…literally. Those that are struggling are probably dealing with poor health due to the stress over money. What’s worse is they can’t afford to be treated properly either due tot he lack of funds.
  • Your relationships: The difference of being single, and being with someone. In my last post I covered a very touchy topic concerning women, money, and you. Again it’s been proven, more money makes you more attractive. Unfortunate, but true.
  • What you think: Not having money is the difference between “Yes I can” and “No I can’t”. Pretty depressing I know.

By now I am sure you are seeing just how much money plays a role in your life and it’s not until you have a serious abundance of it that you are truly ever free from it.

What Can I Do To Get More?

  While I am by no means an expert at making money (because I am no billionaire) I do have over ten years experience in the topic. I have had my fair share of failures, success, and mediocre results. I won’t pretend to know it all (because lord knows there are so many wannabes) but I will tell you what I have learned thus far.

  • Pay Yourself: If you have an income (Job, Self Employment, Etc) try to pay yourself about 30% of it each time you get paid. The 70% can go to necessities while you keep the rest.
  • Dream Big: If you are looking to vastly improve your income, then you have to have a big vision of it. Reason being is because it’s actually something to work for versus something that becomes so insignificant that it’s no longer thought about.
  • Start Small: Take baby steps with whatever you start to undertake, whether it be a second job, business, whatever. It will get overwhelming if you try to do too much too fast. Create a pace that works for you and begin.
  • Actually Do Something: I have had my share of procrastination (and still do) and it’s so easy to sit and think about the who, why, what, where, and how. In fact it’s one of the biggest roadblocks and one of the hardest to get through. Do something everyday and you will see results.
  • Make Sure You Enjoy It: If you are going to make more money working a second or third job. You should probably make sure you enjoy it to some extent. Nothing says “I want to blow my brains out” like working at a job you absolutely hate… let alone two or three of them.
  • Leave Your Comfort Zone: It is scary as hell to take risks and do things you’ve never done, but you have to realize at some point in time to get something you’ve never had before. You need to do something you’ve never done as well.
  • Commit To It: It won’t happen if you are not dedicated. Plain and simple.

I won’t try to paint a pretty picture when it comes to increasing your income.It is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Some get lucky and see results faster but the majority of success stories are years in the making. It’s actually a statistical fact that if you spent 20 years trying to become a millionaire, and failed you would still be better off than a person working till they are 65yrs old getting ready to retire. Just a little food for thought.

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Nice Guys: Is Money The Real Key To A Woman’s Heart?

They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is the key to a woman’s heart through your wallet? While some women may find it offensive to assume such a thing. Most if not all men wonder at some point in time of their relationships if they object of their affection only hangs around because of a strong financial base. So today I am going to shed some light on the subject since the question keeps popping up.

The Real Deal…

Sure some women like a good looking guy, most women like a guys that take charge, but all women love a man with money. Before you get ahead of this lesson let me say that a woman’s opinion on financially stable varies depending on the type of lady you are dealing with.

For example a woman that makes twenty grand a year and dates a man whom makes between thirty or forty per year may feel she’s hit the jackpot. Others may feel that’s simply too low.

So your next question is (if you are with someone) “Does she like me because of my income.” I am gonna be blunt and say yes it does play a bigger role than you may think.

Fun Facts…

I know some of the female readers are probably scowling at my entry but I assure you I am only trying to enlighten and educate the nice guys before they end up getting themselves hurt. Now whether or not you agree, you can’t beat scientific studies. The boys over in Austria have done a clinical study on what exactly attracts a woman to a man and this is what they found.

  • Money Can Buy Love : looks, personality, and treatment mean very little to a woman as long as the man has deep pockets. This means if you are the most grotesque creature on the planet but you have money to burn. It turns you into the catch of the day. How is this possible? It’s Magic.
  • Your Car Makes You Look Good: If you own a top of the line vehicle that actually increases you chances of scoring a babe. Yes it’s totally disgusting I know, but it’s a fact.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
  • Your Salary Increases Attraction: If your salary exceeds hers, then she will stick around for the long haul. In addition women are more likely to leave a man who has unexpectedly lost hos job. Yup… like rats fleeing a rapidly sinking ship.

All in all, it comes down to your wallet guys. If your pockets aren’t deep enough, you won’t get the time of day unless you have been blatantly lying to get into her pants (Which is pretty low).

Protect Yourself…

By now you are probably wondering exactly how you can filter out the real love interests from the fake ones. While there is no fool proof way to screen potential girlfriends/wives (cause lets face it women are extremely good at lying) I do have a few tips and tricks you can start using from now on to see where her real interests lay.

  1. Don’t Speak Of It: Never speak of your financial situations whether you hit the lotto or the IRS sent you a nasty letter in the mail. Remember you want this woman to get to know you, not your wallet.
  2. Business & Pleasure Don’t Mix: Never speak about what you do, where you do it, and how much you make doing it. If she knows what you do for a living, then she knows how much you make. You don’t want that to be the reason this woman stays or goes.
  3. Keep Financial Documents Hidden: From bonds to ATM receipts. You want to keep those things away from prying eyes, and wondering hands. I myself have caught women sneaking a peek at my ATM receipts since it tells you how much cash you have in your account.
  4. Don’t Be A Wheel Man: If you are riding high, make sure you don’t become an errand boy. In my experiences a lot of women call if they don’t have a ride somewhere. Those types of women should make you sick. Make sure they know there is a lot more to you than a ride.
  5. Keep Family & Friends In The Know: If she can’t get info from you than she will go to friends or family. Inform them that they are never to discuss what you do for a living. EVER. Feel free to tell them the reason, I am sure they will quickly understand.

There you have it guys. The ugly truth that is a key to a woman’s heart, and if I may I’d like to say. If you are a guy that uses money to get with a woman it may be time to wake up and realize that you are being used for your money, your car, and your status. It would probably be easier to have a prostitute in your life, because the risks are pretty much the same in the dating world (go figure huh?). To the ladies, if this is you method of finding Mr.Right I gotta say you should probably change your approach…immediately. Till next time guys.

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Nice Guys: Dealing With A Break Up

Break ups are probably the very bane of the heart. We meet someone, get to know them, develop feelings, think everything is fine, and take our hearts and proceed to the closest and dirtiest trash receptacle. Unfortunately if you where really into the relationship then chances are you are taking it very hard.

Trevor asks:

Ok so me and my girlfriend (ex) of 3 years just broke, up with really no reason, I’m afraid she found someone different, I am so heartbroken it kills me, I’m 18 and shes 19 and what bothers me is the thought of her having sex with someone else, just because of how I knew she acted during sex or the things she said to really make you feel like she loved you…. I feel so broken and need some tips. -Trevor

Trevor believe me when I say I know how awful you must feel currently and I must say if this is someone you consider your true love then there isn’t a whole lot you can really do to erase her from existence. However I will do my best to help you and other readers with some decent tips to not some much get over your ex but to accept that they are gone.

The 5 Steps…

Everyone who goes through a painful break up takes what I like to call rehab. I call it rehab because in essence your ex has become a drug of sorts and now that they supply has run dry you are left to fend for yourself. Here is a brief description of each step.

  • Denial & Isolation: The first stage is always the hardest. You can’t believe shes gone and you don’t want to do anything unless it’s with her which isn’t going to happen unless she some how realizes she made a mistake.
  • Anger & Frustration: Anger usually ensues after you find that they are doing just fine without you or that you simply can’t get the person from your mind. This stage can last months and make you more irritable in general. Basically you might end up flipping a table over because your favorite TV show isn’t coming on…
  • Negotiation: This is a pretty crucial stage. Here is when you start trying to negotiate your way back into your ex’s life so that you can get your “fix”. Unfortunately it is counter productive and can last a few weeks
  • Depression: I know what you are thinking “But I’m already depressed.” Well get ready for even more of it because once negotiations fail then you really start to get down on yourself and hit rock bottom. WARNING: You can get stuck in this stage.
  • Acceptance: The very final step of rehab and the hardest one to get to. However this is the step I will try to get you to (hopefully in less time).

Dealing With It…

One does not simply deal with a break up. One really has to embrace it as it was a long lost brother that they don’t really want to hug but must simply out of formality. Below I have a few rules and guidelines that should help you through the 5 steps in a moderate amount of time without fail. I would say a max of 2 months.

  • Be Sad: Yes, be sad. You just lost someone you care about and if you are going to try and pretend that you don’t give a crap. You will quickly find out that you will have an even harder time getting over her. Take the time to understand your feelings and if someone (even your ex) asks how you are feeling be honest about it. Don’t try and be some sort of tough guy. I’m not saying to cry with snot running down your face or anything but voice your opinion in a neutral manner.
  • Stay Off The Ex Radar: I highly doubt you want to find out that your ex is happy with someone else, so don’t try to look them up, meet with them, or contact them. Yes I know this is extremely difficult but it’s better to leave them in the dark so they can have the opportunity to miss you and realize they let something good go.
  • Hang Out Often: Although you probably don’t feel like being a social butterfly right now, you should probably take the initiative and hang out.I would highly recommend some kind of event that involves a large amount of people. Football games actually work great.
  • Listen To Music: Listening to music can help you get those emotions out of your system. We often have a terrible habit of holding on to what we are feeling without some kind of release. This of course is incredibly unhealthy so much can be a bit of a relief for you.

These are tips and rules I have always used to accept a rather painful break up and I know it won’t steer you wrong. I must insist that you try your best to hang out, and again sporting events are probably one of the best methods.

Heck I will even help you plan ahead! Don’t think about it, just get your hands on some Auburn tigers football tickets , Arkansas razorbacks football tickets , or your personal favorite. Trevor I know you are in Birmingham  so why not go check out the Alabama crimson tide football tickets just to help get your mind off. Hopefully this will help not only Trevor but so many others that are continuing to read along.

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Nice Guys: To Marry Or Not To Marry?

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 Hello to all my favorite readers out there and welcome to August’s first post. I would like to discuss/rant about marriage this evening.  Now before I get on with this rant I would like to say that I really did believe in marriage at one time but my views on it have changed and it may turn some of you off. There I warned you!

Jerry asks:

My girlfriend and i are taking about getting married. We have a year old daughter but I’m not sure about marriage. I feel like she only wants to get married because of our daughter and i don’t thing that is a reason to get married. She told me that’s not true we have been together for 5 years and she needs me to to show how much i am committed to her and prove that i love her. She said she feels like i think of her as nothing more than my girlfriend and mother of my child. I love her but i don’t know if marriage is right it’s a big commitment. I understand her with the years and all but i don’t know if I’m ready for marriage. Should we get married or not?”

 In my personal opinion it sounds like if you where to get married tomorrow you would probably pull your hair out. Marriage is a very big step in both of your lives and I feel if both people really love each other than why not?

However I am just not getting that from you currently. I am going to give you some things to really consider when it comes to getting hitched.

Consider for just a moment…

  1. Ten Years From Now: If you can see yourself with your current partner 10 years from now than that is a good sign for you both to get hitched, however if it all seems fuzzy than I am going to have to say that you shouldn’t tie that knot.
  2. Your Reasoning: Let’s face it. Your reasons for getting hitched determine how long you will be together. If all you have are “She won’t get off my back about it.” Then you won’t get past the first year. Being pressured into anything let alone marriage is a recipe for disaster.
  3. What’s In It For You?: I have to be honest. There is absolutely NO
    benefit for men to get married today. I mean you need to realize whether it works out or not that she gets half of everything you own. You have the option of either breaking even or losing half of what you have.
  4. It’s 50/50: I don’t mean sharing your assets I mean there’s a 50/50 chance it wont work out. What I try to teach anyone I can is that people change their minds every day. Especially women! One day you might be the apple of their eye then the next day you are absolutely nobody and if you have a penis and are reading this right now. You know exactly what I am talking about. Are you willing to go through that?
  5. It’s Expensive: Weddings are freaking expensive. In fact if it was up to the guys, they would get two rings from a prize machine, hire a minister and call it a day. However it has to be this giant spectacle with tons of guests,food, fancy gowns, and theatrics. I was one of the groomsmen in a friends wedding and I had to dance down the isle with one of the brides maids. Both ridiculous and embarrassing but It was for my a good friend. If you are already kind of on a tight budget a ceremony WILL put you in the red.

I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade but I do hope that you can really think about the five points and really see if marriage is the thing for you. Sure it looks and sounds nice in a day dream but the fact of the matter is it’s a serious step in someone’s life. Doing it for all the wrong reasons is just going to ruin the true meaning of it for you.

I personally would love to tie the knot one day because I love the woman I am with and because she loves me too. For me marriage is going to be a one time thing, once I’m married I am staying that way and if for some reason I get divorced than that is all there is to it. It’s just like true love you only get the real experience once everything after that is just a cheap imitation.

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