Nice Guys: True Love Fact or Myth?


I knew this post was going to come one day, actually it was pretty much a guarantee when I decided to put this blog together. Yesterday I came across a few different questions when it came to true love. Some asked if others actively seek true love, others asked if it’s just a fairy tale, and the rest asked if they will ever find it.

While I have my own personal views on love and true love. I won’t pretend that I haven’t had my run ins with this elusive thing. What I hope to accomplish with this post is simply enlightenment for all of you who happen across this post. This post is for the pessimist, the optimist, the cynics, and the skeptics.

What Is True Love?

True love has been defined in many different forms both negatively and positively. For some it’s been defined as the greatest gift  God has ever given the human race. For others it’s been known as one of the worst things you can experience in your life time. So which is it? Good or Bad? Truth is it can be both but never at the same time. Confused? Get yourself a drink and a snack it’s story time.

“You can only know you truly love someone when your love takes you far beyond yourself.” – Jenina Venerayan

Let me kill the so called myth by saying true love does actually exist and it is unquestionably the hardest thing I have ever had to describe. The feeling is nothing short of pure rapture.  I have never actually been high before but I imagine that what I felt was about a million times better than any feeling  synthetic drugs can create.

It’s effects on you are nothing short of life changing. Things that seemed impossible are now easily attainable, things that you hated, people you couldn’t stand no longer plague your mind. Bad news you receive seems trivial at best and worse news is tolerable. I even will go as so far to say to feel true love removes all of your inhibitors both mental and physical. It’s perfection.

A few years ago, a friend of mine had fallen in love with a man she and I worked with. Mind you I’ve known this women for the better half of 3 years, she was a hardcore pessimist. Even if things where going her way, she expected the worst to happen at all times. Once true love entered her veins everything about her changed. She became a super version of the women I used to know, her pessimism had vanished, she was upbeat, her appearance was unearthly literally. The woman practically glowed. It was an amazing sight to behold.

This was no different when it happened to myself. I was a big skeptic, I didn’t believe until I saw (I’m a New Yorker what can I say) and when I felt it. Things changed in me in an instant. Goals where being accomplished, my health improved, life was incredible. No other woman existed for me and no other man existed for my friend.

Unfortunately Everything Has A Dark Side…

As wonderful a feeling true love can and should always be. It can be one of the most painful experiences as well. The feeling is a bit more explainable, but still escapes a real definition.

“True love is like a teardrop in a rainstorm; you’re lucky enough to find it once, but you will never find it again.” -William Louie

Again the effects are life changing, just not in a very positive way. Some times I see others going through small and petty break ups and I can’t help but think what will happen to them when and if they find something they truly won’t be able to live without.

When true love isn’t in tune or reciprocated that incomplete feeling you get is pretty maddening. In fact it will drive you slightly insane and there really isn’t much you can do about it. It’s the reason people say “Love makes you do crazy things.”

Remember that friend of mine earlier that was practically glowing when the true love bug bit? Regretfully the feelings weren’t mutual and that is when things really fell apart for her. Her old ways where back but they seemed to be magnified beyond belief and she also adopted a very apathetic persona mainly to cope with her loss but I could tell it wasn’t working.

I was no different, except I didn’t kid myself when it came to how I felt. While I was apathetic to everything I never lied to myself by saying I no longer cared about who I am in love it. For her it was a very big denial thing while for me it was just a long period of mourning. What we both soon realized was that there was never any real coping to our loss but more of an eventual numbness that finally took hold years after.

While I can’t speak on her behalf I can tell you personally that there won’t be another experience like this one again. In my experience there are just some things you can’t replicate and that feeling of true love is on the top of the list.

In The End.

True love does indeed exist and I can’t really say many people actively seek it per say. It finds you. Usually at the most in opportune time of your life, and if you aren’t careful it can be excruciatingly painful. While I can’t tell you how to really guard yourself from it, I can only tell you what to expect.

It’s a feeling that has a wide array of outcomes. Some have killed in it’s name, others have even died due to lack of it(Yes you can die due to a broken heart), but very few are able to keep it in their lives. If you do happen to attain it at some point, make sure you do everything you can to keep it.

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