Nice Guys: How To Stop Being A Door Mat

Last post I went off on a small rant about people who kind of just lay down and allow people to walk over them. Specifically nice guys who get taken advantage of by certain women who aren’t worth a piece of paper blowing in the wind. If you happen to be one of those guys that get stepped on I am going to start giving you a few hints and tips to start reclaiming your dignity.

Back Bone 101:

If you consider yourself a door mat there is no doubt that you are desperately lacking confidence. Our job today is to get some ideas rolling in your head so that we can build that up asap. Here are some things I recommend you start doing immediately.

  • Start Saying No: Contrary to popular belief saying “yes” to everything isn’t going to magically make your life better. In fact saying yes usually enables people to take advantage of you. Try this exercise the next time you find yourself being asked to do something you don’t want to do. Respectfully decline, if you don’t want to sound like an ass the best thing you can do is simply decline with a “no sorry”.
  • Say It With Ya Chest!: Project your voice when you speak, don’t be timid, shy, and looking down at your feet. When you put some base in your voice people tend to take you a little more seriously than they normally would.
  • Take Self Defense: No I am not saying take a class so you can kick the crap out of someone(unless the situation calls…). Self defense builds lots confidence that can take years to really muster up by yourself.

Advance Assertiveness

I know I know. What about those people that keep nagging until you simply give in. This is where you get a little tougher in your declines, you see here are a few good things to do when dealing with people who won’t take no for an answer.

  • Because I Said So!: I get it, saying no isn’t enough sometimes. This is when you add in the word “Because”. Using this word along with whatever reason you want. It will cut the request short.
  • Repeat The Same Thing: Sometimes people are to dense to understand no for the first time. So what you do is repeat yourself (remember to use your excuse as well) when the request is asked. Repeating your decision will usually deter them from asking again.
  • Stay Neutral: Keep a straight face, don’t show anger, don’t show that you are bothered, etc. You keep a straight face until you got your point across.

Are They Starting To Piss You Off Yet?

What? You thought that was the end of the lesson? Let me tell you something, there are people out there that you are going to want to beat with a brick. If you are dealing with these kinds of people then you should seriously consider doing the following.

  • Create Distance: As annoying as this person is, chances are your about ready to beat his/her ass anyway. So you might as well create some distance between you two. If you live with em, depending on the situation kick em out or get out. If it’s your boss keep your interactions short and sweet. Friends? Make some new ones and limit your time with the trouble maker.
  • Voice Your Opinion: Nothing wrong with telling someone that there pissing you off and they might want to back off a bit. Not many people likes getting physical and if you are one of those types. Voice your opinion and leave. This will give the person or persons something to think about.

Life is too short to be used, manipulated, and stepped on by people that aint worth a damn. The first time may be difficult, but trust me after you start saying no, standing up for yourself, and not backing down for the first time. It’s gonna feel good, you might even get butterflies, hell you may even have an adrenaline rush. The point is it will feel great, because you know you don’t have to put up with anyone’s crap. Start putting these things into action today.

In closing I want you guys to know I am one of the nicest people on the planet, but I absolutely will not hesitate to tell someone off. I have flipped off bosses, I have kicked friends out of my house, I have insulted perfect strangers all in the name of standing up for myself. There are just moments in your life where people will try to take advantage and make you look like a punk. If you let that happen you will be dealing with it all your life.

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