Nice Guys: Getting Out Of The Friend Zone

Continuing from yesterday’s friend zone session I have decided not to leave you guys hanging by thinking you are trapped there forever. Today I will be giving you guaranteed methods for getting you out of the zone. I must warn you though, this is going to take a lot of effort, discipline, and guts.

Teach Me Master…

 We got ourselves in this mess because of her perception of us.  We did things that branded us friend material, and although being friends is nice (I guess?) it’s not what we want. Here is a list of our first steps of our long hard road out of hell.

  1. Take Your Ball & Go Home: This isn’t an after school special or some kind of a play date. If you want her to see you as someone she can see herself with stop making yourself so available. This means stop calling, stop texting, stop treating her out, stop listening to her issues, and definitely stop being the guy who wipes the tears from her face. You need to remain off her radar for at least a month. No need to be a jerk or blow her off, just give her the “I’m busy” line(I’m sure you have heard it plenty of times too).
  2. Focus On Yourself: Having your own life is attractive to everyone. Start doing things that interest you, because if you are like most people. Chances are chasing this person around has left you in an unhappy state of mind. Start having fun again, work on life goals, get in shape. You are starting to get what I am saying here right?
  3. See Other Women: Before you even think it. Listen… I am not saying you need to be attracted to these other women what so ever. Just hang out with other girls and enjoy your time. This does a few things for you. It helps you understand that women are human just like you and me and thus become less intimidating, easier to talk to, and easier to walk away from.
  4. Reconnect: After a month or so she what she’s up to. Talk to her about things you’ve been doing and with who. Mentioning a female’s name or two or three usually advocates a little jealousy. Remember little to no contact for at least a month before reconnection.
  5. Make Flexible Plans: Invite her out, but make sure your plans are possible to do WITHOUT her. If she says no why have your night ruined in the process? A good example of this is to have a couple of friend and yourself head out to a movie, bowling, whatever. The key factor is whether or not she comes along the night is still going to happen and it will be HER loss if she declines.

It looks easy on paper, but trust me it’s a lot harder to implement depending on how much you want this. A lot of guys feel if they cut their time short, that the other person will “move on”. Let me tell you something, the more of a friend you are the easier it is for them to move on.

Best to just go ahead and start the transformation now, before you end up sitting on a couch eating a bowl of ice cream wondering why on earth you did so many stupid things that put you in the friend zone in the first place.

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