Nice Guys: Are You In The Friend Zone?

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 Alright. So we all know being in the friend zone sucks for both men and women a like and in most cases it’s easier for women to free themselves from this barren waste land than it is for men. Today I answered a question asked by Mike about the friend zone.

Micheal Writes:

“What are some signs that you are being friend zoned? Please give me details, examples? Thanks.”

A simple question at best but the answer is not so clear cut. In fact this may indeed confuse some readers as they ever so slowly realize that they have been put in the zone that everyone hates.

Am I In The Zone?

Unless you just met the object of your affection it doesn’t take a genius to know there is a 95% chance that you are already in that zone. You see the friend zone is not a one person decision in fact it takes the actions of both people to decided whether or not you end up there. First let’s take a look at the mirror and this list to see our contribution to ending up here.

  • Too Accommodating: Be honest, do you find yourself being available every time she wants to hang out? This says to her that you can, will, and have dropped everything just to be around her. Of course she will like that when the time suits her, but other times it’s a big turn off.
  • Do You Brown Nose: To be blunt, do you kiss her ass so much that you need to apply chap stick? Are you always paying compliments, buying gifts, treating her out? If so I wish you could see the expression on my face right now, but this will have to do…
  • Do You Try To Impress: Do you constantly find yourself trying to impress her? Whether it be trying to sound intelligent, flexing your muscles, or simply trying to sweep her off her feet.
  • Did You Confess Your Undying Love: Did your bottled up feelings just kind of spill over and come flying out of your mouth in a barrage of jumbled up words of affection? …Yeah

These four points will land you in the friend zone quicker than you can imagine and if you have done any of the following it’s pretty safe to say you screwed the pooch on this one. However there is a way to fix it, but it’s going to take some serious time, effort, and control on your part. More on this later.

Pay Attention To Her.

Aside from you royally screwing up your chances by yourself, there are a few signs that she has already fenced you off from her fields of joy. This list should help you quickly recognize whether or not she see’s you as just a friend or someone she would like to get close to.

  • Say What?: If she talks to you about other guys, asks advice concerning other guys, or asks you about your friends that are guys then chances are you are a non factor.
  • Hanging Out: If she hangs out with you in the company of other friends, or your activities together include shopping, and other non romantic outings than there is a good chance she does not see you in the light you would like.
  • Financial Status: This is going to sound so crappy, but what a lot of women look for in a partner in their income. If you have none you have lowered your chances considerably.
  • Surrounded By Men: If her circle of friends are primarily guys than you are going to be added quickly. These men are no doubt the results of previous guys that have trap themselves in the abyss.

There you have it, all the obvious signs that you are in the bottomless pit affectionately named the friend zone. If you have checked off at a minimum two of anything listed you sir are very much there.

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