Nice Guys: How To Identify & Deal With Manipulators

Yes I know this post is way over do and forgive me for the late entry. You see this topic is pretty close to home and for years I had been trying to fully eliminate it from my life. To prevent rambling I had to kinda cut down on my experiences to one specific person because it was the most annoying.

If you are like me you probably hate manipulative individuals. You know… those kinds of people that have to control everything in their lives and in other people’s lives too. Do you know anyone like that? Chances are that you have at the very least four extremely manipulative people in your life. What’s worse is they probably take up about 90% of your daily routine!

So What’s The Deal With Manipulative People?

In short. They are attracted to power/control/advantage. The crave success in every avenue of their life. Not to say it’s a bad thing, but unfortunately most if not all manipulators are out for their personal gain…not yours. Psychological manipulation is a disorder used to described a person change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive methods.

Oh surprise surprise! It’s a disorder! I always felt people like this where messed up in the head. However there are positive variations of manipulation specifically designed to improve your life in specific ways. For example a doctor manipulating you to change eating habits to promote a healthier life style but for now we will talk about the whack jobs trying to run your life.

My Personal Experience…

I have dealt with manipulative parents, peers, best friends and let me tell you it’s been a freaking nightmare. I think the worst of the all was my best friend, as he threw tantrums, kicked and screamed like a little bitch every time something did not go his way. This was always aggravating to our circle of friends, and like a bunch of idiots we simply catered to most of his needs.

His main goal seemed to be making you feel like shit if you didn’t do what he wanted you to do. He was able to turn a mutual female friend into a fuck buddy, a old high school friend into a personal chauffeur, and the list goes on and on.

What is really amazing is the fact he makes you feel like complete trash if you don’t go along with his plans. So now you are probably wondering how the hell do you deal with people like this? Well since I couldn’t beat him senseless with a trash can lid I did the next best thing.

Taking Out The Trash.

Expelling manipulators from your life can be a bit daunting, especially if they are in your social circle. In my case getting rid of this one bad apple meant that I would probably be getting rid of the bunch as well.

Reason being is because if he was mad at someone the whole circle wouldn’t see them until the issue was resolved. Least to say it was a hard choice, oust the whole circle or just keep dealing with the same bullshit. I chose to get out in hopes that others would follow my example if they were tired of the bull crap as well.

It’s been a few years and I hear from some of the circle every now and then but I keep my distance because life has been less stressful. I’m free to do what I want, when I want, how I want, without having to walk on egg shells.

Final Thoughts.

Friends will come and go, that is just a fact of life. People love to say “Real friends will always be there”, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is simply not true.

You see people change, and 99% of the time the change is for the worse. Those changes can bring you and your whole circle of friends to ruin and unfortunately that wonderful group was screwed up because of one person.

Life is too short to deal with people that want to run yours. The best thing you can do is simply cut those people loose and move on with your social life. There will be tons of new people to meet in your life time and you don’t need a manual on how to make friends. You know what kind of people you like hanging around so find em and do it.

After you successfully rid yourself of one manipulator it’s amazing how much easier it is to tell people about themselves. You start to develop what most people call a Honey Badger Mode. A good thing to have in today’s world believe me!

 

 

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